# Big vehicle = small penis: any proof? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 24, 2007, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832 "2007-08-24T21:39:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/21 "2007-08-26T02:40:44Z")
\*\* Big vehicle = small penis: any proof? \*\* Absolutely! I drive a truck, and I’m a woman. ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/22 "2007-08-26T04:20:27Z")
I have a Dodge Ram and a Scion tC. I trade my penises out on the weekend. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/23 "2007-08-26T04:29:00Z")
We have a saying for that in Quebec: _grosse corvette, p’tite quéquette._ ---
**Author:** ![Charlie\_Tan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/charlie_tan/32/12582_2.png) [@Charlie\_Tan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charlie_Tan)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/24 "2007-08-26T07:32:17Z")
[QUOTE=TheLoadedDog] I’d love to ride a Vespa, but I’m worried my penis will get caught in the wheels. [/QUOTE] As a former Vespa owner, I can assure you that it’s quite a babe magnet: “Oh, such a cute bike! Take me for a ride.” ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/25 "2007-08-26T08:32:33Z")
I drive [this.](http://www.myfavoritevehicle.com/) It’s small and zippy and awesome. Any other conclusions are left as an exercise for the reader. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/26 "2007-08-26T12:08:35Z")
I guess this must be the ultimate [SUV](http://s143.photobucket.com/albums/r148/enipla/?action=view¤t=weinermobile.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/27 "2007-08-26T17:49:30Z")
I can’t find it now, but a year or so ago, I came upon a website called “Big Truck Small Penis,” or something like that. And I downloaded a bunch of bumper stickers that say, "Ask me about my small penis!"and I printed them on to some sticker paper. I confess that I have not had the opportunity to slap one of those babies on the back of a Hummer in the parking lot of the neighborhood grocery store, but I keep looking for chances. I would just LOVE to do that. Of course, part of that finding that chance entails being darn sure that the owner is a great distance away - not easy to do. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/28 "2007-08-26T18:12:00Z")
[QUOTE=enipla] I guess this must be the ultimate [SUV](http://s143.photobucket.com/albums/r148/enipla/?action=view¤t=weinermobile.jpg) [/QUOTE] No, [this](http://www.bikeforest.com/kenworth_pilgrimage.php) is: > [@](#): > > Has your Suburban or Expedition gotten too small for you, or have the Jones’ just one-upped you once again with a new Excursion? If you thought that so-called “large” SUVs like the Expedition have a tough look, then you need to check out the new Kenworth Pilgrimage! Now featuring quality Firestone tires to make piloting the Pilgrimage a more exciting experience!\* Presenting the 2003 Kenworth Pilgrimage, the SUV of the future, today I still remember that from when **fatherjohn** (!) used to link to his “poseur 4x4” website. While that site is now defunct, they salvaged this. As it says on the bottom of the page, this was a lot funnier before the [International CXT](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_XT) came out. That is currently the standard bearer for size in a production vehicle, far exceeding even the Hummer H1 in every category. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/29 "2007-08-26T18:22:26Z")
[QUOTE=diggleblop] I don’t care what anyone says, certain guys who buy huge trucks, without a doubt have a small penis. [/QUOTE] With respect, that has no bearing on the question. Undoubtedly, certain guys who buy large trucks have large penises. Neither statement addresses the question put in the OP, which concerns a correlation between penis size and truck size. For that you’d need a nationwide survey. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/30 "2007-08-26T19:30:02Z")
A thought just occurred to me. Although I no longer drive and SUV, I still miss mine. Perhaps I _do_ have a small penis. Not being gay or having been in a locker room since adolescence, I really have no basis for comparison. I had thought The Master had done a report on penis sizes, but I’m unable to locate it currently. What constitutes small versus large versus average? ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2007, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/31 "2007-08-26T19:44:50Z")
[Does average human penis length vary among ethnic groups?](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a2_193.html) ---
**Author:** ![TheLoadedDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/32 "2007-08-27T00:25:01Z")
[QUOTE=CC] I can’t find it now, but a year or so ago, I came upon a website called “Big Truck Small Penis,” or something like that. And I downloaded a bunch of bumper stickers that say, "Ask me about my small penis!"and I printed them on to some sticker paper. I confess that I have not had the opportunity to slap one of those babies on the back of a Hummer in the parking lot of the neighborhood grocery store, but I keep looking for chances. I would just LOVE to do that. Of course, part of that finding that chance entails being darn sure that the owner is a great distance away - not easy to do. [/QUOTE] That’s brilliant. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/33 "2007-08-27T01:02:31Z")
Men with a small penis would be unlikely to volunteer for such a study, which would skew the results. The only way to get an accurate answer would be to mandate participation by adding questions about car and penis size to the 2010 census. To prevent little lies, census takers would, of course, have to come around to measure every man’s unit. I can just hear the Libertarians now. ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/34 "2007-08-27T01:30:39Z")
[QUOTE=Airman Doors, USAF] No, [this](http://www.bikeforest.com/kenworth_pilgrimage.php) is: [/quote] I like the disclaimer: “Fits under MOST bridge underpasses.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/35 "2007-08-27T01:49:48Z")
I don’t know about penis size, but there is evidence that the auto industry thinks owners of large SUVs are insecure and in fact, tailor their marketing to feed that insecurity. From the book [High and Mighty: The world’s most dangerous vehicles and how they got that way](http://www.amazon.ca/High-Mighty-Suvs-Dangerous-Vehicles/dp/1586481231): > [@](#): > > Few boomers would be flattered by the portrait that auto industry market research has painted of the typical SUV buyer: “They tend to be people who are insecure and vain. They are frequently nervous about their marriages and uncomfortable about parenthood. They often lack confidence in their driving skills. Above all, they are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in their neighbors or communities.” ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/36 "2007-08-27T13:17:09Z")
There is an inverse correlation between male genital size and the amount of complaining the male does about the genital sizes of SUV drivers. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Omegaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e480ec/32.png) [@Omegaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omegaman)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/37 "2007-08-27T16:33:17Z")
[QUOTE=CC] I can’t find it now, but a year or so ago, I came upon a website called “Big Truck Small Penis,” or something like that. And I downloaded a bunch of bumper stickers that say, "Ask me about my small penis!"and I printed them on to some sticker paper. I confess that I have not had the opportunity to slap one of those babies on the back of a Hummer in the parking lot of the neighborhood grocery store, but I keep looking for chances. I would just LOVE to do that. Of course, part of that finding that chance entails being darn sure that the owner is a great distance away - not easy to do. [/QUOTE] I think your ability to apply these to as many vehicles as possible would tell me a great deal about your testicle size. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f1d935/32.png) [@CC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CC)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/38 "2007-08-27T18:25:53Z")
[QUOTE=Omegaman] I think your ability to apply these to as many vehicles as possible would tell me a great deal about your testicle size. 😃 [/QUOTE] Yep. They are small. But I have three. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/39 "2007-08-27T20:01:04Z")
[QUOTE=CC] Yep. They are small. But I have three. [/QUOTE] [Random Chuck Norris fact] Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a count the testicle contest. Chuck won by five.[/RCNF] ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2007, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832/40 "2007-08-27T20:27:47Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] [Random Chuck Norris fact] Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a count the testicle contest. Chuck won by five.[/RCNF] [/QUOTE] I heard a different version: When Chuck Norris heard that his good friend Lance Armstrong was recovering from testicular cancer, Chuck gave Lance one of his. Lance went on to win the Tour de France 7 times. Chuck still had 2 testicles; no one knows if he had a spare or if a new one grew back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-vehicle-small-penis-any-proof/416832.md?page=1)