# Big wedding or Vegas? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 27, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927 "2003-02-27T17:37:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SuperNelson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@SuperNelson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuperNelson)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/21 "2003-02-28T13:10:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by avabeth \* > **I may email you for some ideas about Caesar’s though.** Please feel free to email me. Put SDMB in the header, though; I’ve got a pretty aggressive spam filter running, it occasionally grabs a legitimate message, and that will make yours stand out from the crowd. -SuperNelson ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/22 "2003-02-28T18:00:29Z")
Hubby and I were married in Vegas at the Excalibur. They had several different packages to choose from and were very flexible about meeting our needs. (For instance, the package came with a certain amount of flowers, but since I hate flowers, they let me swap them out for extra pictures in my package.) The chapel had recently been remodeled and it was lovely. (We wore regular wedding attire, but if you wanted to you could rent Medieval costumes and what-not.) Instead of a reception, we took everyone (about 30 people or so) to dinner at King Arthur’s Jousting Tournament (or whatever it’s called.) Everyone had a great time and one of my husband’s friends even moved out there for a few years. We also bought a timeshare as a wedding present to ourselves and go back every year for our anniversary. ---
**Author:** ![Adoptamom\_II](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Adoptamom\_II](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adoptamom_II)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/23 "2003-02-28T21:34:03Z")
DH and I both had big weddings when we married to our first spouses. Neither of those marriages lasted over 6 years. When we married one another, we found a JP with a teeny chapel attached to his home, brought our Best Man and Maid of Honor and my (now our) daughter. Very small, intimate gathering and we’re still very happily married 16 1/2 years later. I think our first weddings/marriages were for our families and our wedding to one another was just for us. The difference in the depth/meaning of the vows when it’s just the two of you, without the wedding “to do” is awe inspiring. ---
**Author:** ![CanadianSue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2003, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/24 "2003-02-28T22:48:23Z")
I did the big wedding first time around because it was what my parents wanted. If I were to marry again, it would be a trip to the mountains, amen. ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/25 "2003-03-01T00:22:06Z")
Sue, you ought to check out a journal on [ultimatewedding.com](http://ultimatewedding.com). One of the Canadian members got married in the mountains in Banff National Park, with like six guests. Her pictures are absolutely amazing. I think her screen name is rtravers. ---
**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/26 "2003-03-01T00:34:43Z")
Hawaii. Much like Vegas you can go for a visit and most the better hotels can/will arrange for a lovely wedding on the beach. Just as “convenient” as Vegas and a little less cliche’ and more romance. ---
**Author:** ![Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@Bren\_Cameron\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bren_Cameron_1)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/27 "2003-03-01T01:44:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sleestak \* > \*\*In my experience the more complex the wedding the more stressful it is to the couple being married. > > … > > Anyway, I found that the best weddings were ones where the couples were not too focused on the details of the wedding. > > I guess what I am trying to say is that if you are too focused on having a perfect wedding ceremony you are going to be disappointed. On the other hand, if you focus on having a good ceremony that is joyous and fun you will love it. > \*\* I want to give this a hearty “Amen!” I catered for ten years, and the best weddings I saw were the simplest ones–the ones where the couple and their families weren’t stressing out over whether the napkins were white or ivory, or if the bridesmaids were all in uniform, or whatever. I think the single best wedding I went to (not worked) involved some trays of cold cuts from the grocery store deli and a home made cake. The maid of honor wore her nicest dress, the bride put some jazz on her CD player, and everyone had a wonderful time. Of course, if you really want the big wedding, and can afford it, by all means, knock yourself out. But don’t do it just because you think it’s expected–it’s not worth it. After having worked at hundreds of weddings, when my time came it was a ULC minister, in his living room. We took the witnesses out to dinner afterwards. No regrets at all. Of course, you could argue that I was burnt out on weddings, and I probably was. Still, it’s not how fancy the ceremony, or whether the colors of the flowers are right, that matters, not in the end. ---
**Author:** ![Doctordec](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cdc98d/32.png) [@Doctordec](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctordec)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/28 "2003-03-01T02:41:05Z")
Good chance a big wedding will end in divorce. Good chance a small wedding will end in divorce. My point is, don’t spend a lot of time and energy and money on a ceremony that’s not a sure thing. I got married in Vegas by a JP for 50 bucks over 20 years ago and it’s still working. A lot of couples blow a ton of cash on a big wedding and then have to scrimp for years to buy a house. We bought a home the week after our wedding and never looked back. You might not get any wedding gifts but the lack of pressure will make it a better experience for both of you and you can always have a big party after if you want. Besides, if you’re headed for Vegas you can always back out the day before and not feel bad at all. Try that with a big 400 guest affair. Don’t tell anyone about it either, it’s only between the two of you really. ---
**Author:** ![Bob55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Bob55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bob55)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/29 "2003-03-01T03:26:33Z")
I had a medium wedding and was very happy. I was recently best man in a small (40 people) wedding at Excalibur in Vegas - I was very impressed. It turned out A LOT better than I could have imagined, in fact it was perfect. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/30 "2003-03-01T15:55:56Z")
VEGAS! Go to VEGAS!!! Twenty or thirty years from now you won’t care about what happened to anyone at your wedding EXCEPT you and your spouse. So spend your money living it up with you and your spouse in Vegas and save most of the dough for a house. That’s what we did and I don’t regret it for an instant. Of course, it sort of depends how negatively your family will react. My family is max relax. ---
**Author:** ![Tir\_Tinuviel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@Tir\_Tinuviel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tir_Tinuviel)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2003, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927/31 "2003-03-01T18:09:04Z")
Any wedding, as long as all the people involved retain their dignity for the ceremony I don’t care how/where I’m married. (They can make arses of themselves at the piss-up afterwards) It’s not the ceremony I care about, it’s the man I’m marrying. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/big-wedding-or-vegas/157927.md?page=1)