milroyj, just another thought on this issue. I don’t know much about Belgium, but I tend to think it is culturally similar to France. And I assume that bigamy is illegal in France.
However, it is worth noting, that at the funeral of Francois Mitterand, both his wife and mistress were seated in the same row.
While the official sanctioning of multiple marriage may be frowned upon, the equivalent informal result seems to be more than just tolerated.
Quesion: In cultures that allow polygamy, do existing wives have veto power over bringing additional wives into the marriaige?
They do in many of them and if one follows the commands of the religion as layed out in Al Qur’an itself, you can’t even think of a second wife if that would hurt the feelings of the first one.
Of course very often there is a light - upto - large gap between theory and practice. And it must also be mentioned that women often aren’t informed about their rights. For example the right to put in their marriage contract the condition that they can get immediate divorce if the husband ever plans a second marriage.
It must also be mentioned that often even the men aren’t informed about that 
Salaam. A
Ok, but is wife #1’s signature required on the marriage contract to wife #2?
She doesn’t marry her… That would be even a very strange idea.
Salaam. A
What makes the first wife agree and be okay with a second wife. Is it only to make her husband happy? Or…? Except for the situations where the work load is too much and more help is welcome, why is a second wife usually desired? Are there other practical reasons? The motivation is probably the most puzzling part to us American women. 
Reminds me of a story told by a friend who grew up mostly in Central America. Apparently one Honduran leader had a penchant for installing his mistresses in Cabinet positions. Some citizens were outraged, while others reasoned “hey, at least the Cabinet has access to the President at any time of the day or night!”
Speaking a little to the ‘practicing polygamy’ thing for United States immigration purposes – a friend of mine went through the procedures for immigration recently on a marital visa. They felt that they had to be -very- careful about how they talked about their relationship, because it is not a closed relationship, and I believe that they still take care about not referring to any of their other partnerships in spousal terms.
IWLN – speaking as an American woman, I don’t understand your question I think any more than I suspect Aldebaran will. Motivation for getting married to an additional partner is generally the same for getting married to one partner – in my case, as an example, falling in love and wanting to form family ties and commitments to support that relationship. (This is also the case for other folks I’m aware of.) I even know of one triadic relationship in which one of the marriages is legally contracted (since it isn’t legally possible for both to be where they live), but essentially nobody outside the people involved knows which one that is. (I seem to remember that both weddings happened within about a week of each other, and both husbands and the wife wear similar rings.)
Just a little personal disclaimer first. I don’t have a negative judgment on this. I respect comittment and personal responsibility in a relationship, regardless of how many people are involved. My question obviously comes from my own perspective. That’s because of my cultural influences. I simply wondered if there were multiple reasons for needing or wanting an additional spouse and assume there’s probably more to it than I have thought of. Possibly a naive question, but not judgmental. :o
I understand your question because most people who aren’t living in a society where such marriages are permitted wonder about such things.
To be frank: Especially in countries where women don’t have the rights they should have according Islam, the “desire” comes from the man, who abuses religious based law (I call that “religious permission”) to bring an other wife in the household. Simply because he has what I would call “midlife crises” but what isn’t recognized as such in his society. (You see the same happening all over the world: men who find younger women attractive and start a relationship with them.)
These are the cases where the man is the only one who takes the initiative, and his wife agrees because she is by the countries custom and laws in no position to go against his decision.
Then you have the situations you mentioned, where a second wife is a welcomed help in the household and other work, which is in my opinion more freqwent in rural societies.
As for others… I guess there are several reasons, each of them different depending the persons involved and their personal situation.
Salaam. A
Thank you for your answers to my nosey questions.
My 2¢:
Multiple marriage might be ok, provided that all the current partners unanimously approved any newcomers.
There may be a very valid historic reason for this (i.e. the ratio men/women being 1/2, probably die to warfare etc., so why deny some women the chance to a happily married life and kids? I’m just saying , there are more ways to look at this than one).
Also, I think under Sharia, a man is only allowed so many women he can comfortably provide for. I think the limit is set at 4. And if the women are happy with it, who are we to judge?
In some Inuit tribes, when a man and woman marry, the woman is also automatically married to his brothers. In that case, when a husband dies, she’ll still have someone to provide for her and her kids, and is not left a widow. I think this practice is called polyandry.
Poly meaning many
andry from andros meaning man.
both greek.