# Biggest Lies **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 26, 2012, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980 "2012-04-26T02:54:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/1 "2012-04-26T02:54:27Z")
David Allan Coe [had some ideas on this topic](http://www.lyrics007.com/David%20Allan%20Coe%20Lyrics/3%20Biggest%20Lies%20In%20The%20World%20Lyrics.html) What are the biggest lies in your experience? [WARNING: Possible NSFW lyrics] ---
**Author:** ![buddha\_david](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee7513/32.png) [@buddha\_david](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buddha_david)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/2 "2012-04-26T03:08:05Z")
(1) I love you (2) The check’s in the mail (3) If \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, the terrorists win! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/3 "2012-04-26T03:32:48Z")
I’ll call you. No, of course I’m not mad! Mmm, this tastes delicious! Oh, it’s just what I’ve always wanted! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/4 "2012-04-26T03:45:19Z")
Stay as long as you want- we don’t mind! I’m just going to trim it a tiny little bit. Overtime is optional. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/5 "2012-04-26T03:57:24Z")
1. The check is in the mail 2. I’ll still respect you in the morning 3. I promise I won’t cum in your mouth 4. Hi, I’m from the government/factory/head office, and I’m here to help ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/6 "2012-04-26T06:27:40Z")
Biggest lie related to this thread: David Allan Coe claims he isn’t a racist. ---
**Author:** ![Dereknocue67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@Dereknocue67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dereknocue67)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/7 "2012-04-26T07:41:38Z")
I’d have to say religion as pitched by most televangelists. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/8 "2012-04-26T12:32:35Z")
It’s a rush to judgment; he didn’t do it. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/9 "2012-04-26T12:49:33Z")
No, those jeans don’t make your ass look big. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/10 "2012-04-26T12:53:50Z")
We’d love to attend your wedding! ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/11 "2012-04-26T17:01:49Z")
I love your hair just the way it is. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/12 "2012-04-26T17:04:53Z")
Just an FYI, the link in the OP contains some NSFW language that might snag up some people’s work filters. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/13 "2012-04-26T17:06:58Z")
Not to mention their “yuck, not in the mood to think about that” filters. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/14 "2012-04-26T17:30:02Z")
“This will hurt me more than it will hurt you” BTW, “In that case, _I’ll_ spank _you_” is definitely the wrong response to use. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2012, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/15 "2012-04-26T18:09:43Z")
“It’s a job creator/killer.” ---
**Author:** ![jharvey963](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/54ee81/32.png) [@jharvey963](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jharvey963)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/16 "2012-04-27T21:58:13Z")
Here’s what I remember: 1. The check is in the mail. 2. I gave at the office. 3. I won’t come in your mouth. J. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/17 "2012-04-27T22:04:20Z")
Your ass is not fat. I never lie. And they lived happily ever after. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/18 "2012-04-27T23:03:14Z")
Spoken by any corporate honcho: “We deeply regret the need for this workforce adjustment…” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/19 "2012-04-27T23:55:54Z")
Death: Humans need fantasy to _be_ human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape. Susan: With tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Death: Yes. As practice, you have to start out learning to believe the little lies. Susan: So we can believe the big ones? Death: Yes. Justice, mercy, duty. That sort of thing. Susan: They’re not the same at all. Death: You think so? Then take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder, and sieve it through the finest sieve, and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet, you try to act as if there is some ideal order in the world. As if there is some, some rightness in the universe, by which it may be judged. Susan: But people have got to believe that, or what’s the point? Death: You need to believe in things that aren’t true. How else can they become? ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980/20 "2012-04-28T14:13:43Z")
“Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing.” When I hear this, I start looking for shelter. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/biggest-lies/619980.md?page=2)