# Bike Thievery in CHICAGO **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 26, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909 "2011-06-26T15:24:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![BBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@BBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BBee)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/1 "2011-06-26T15:24:41Z")
I’ve had it with the heartless bike thieves and their trade network. My bike was nothing special. It was customized to suit me and I loved it. When some bastard stole it yesterday, I filed the report and instead of feeling helpless I declared war and did something extremely therapeutic. I hexed the thief with all the wrath I could conjure up. I filmed the event and posted it on youtube under Bike Thief Hex Chicago Style. Bike thief, you chose the wrong bike. You may be missing balls this morning. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/2 "2011-06-26T15:35:14Z")
I’m confused. What event did you film? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/3 "2011-06-26T15:36:38Z")
Capsaicin rubbed on you next bike’s handlebars might be a better hexing process. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/4 "2011-06-26T15:55:25Z")
Good luck with all that. Joe ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/5 "2011-06-26T16:05:34Z")
I think I’d be better off reading the thread about if you ever shat yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/6 "2011-06-26T16:43:52Z")
Make sure you look on Craigslist and see if someone is selling it 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/7 "2011-06-26T16:50:59Z")
any bike (beater one speeds even) may be stolen to provide easy transportation while cruising looking for a more valuable bike to steal. yours may have been within walking distance of where they were dropped off to make their rounds. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/8 "2011-06-26T16:52:28Z")
Pee-Wee, is that you? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/9 "2011-06-26T19:47:48Z")
[Bike Thief Hex Chicago Style](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMOZgvKkPqc) ISorry about the bike, but it would be worth stealing it just for the sake of being able to watch the hex video (which I loved!). You call that a drop of blood? I was expecting a gusher from that poker thing. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/10 "2011-06-26T20:05:45Z")
Moving thread from IMHO to The BBQ Pit. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/11 "2011-06-28T15:26:53Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > [Bike Thief Hex Chicago Style](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMOZgvKkPqc) > ISorry about the bike, but it would be worth stealing it just for the sake of being able to watch the hex video (which I loved!). You call that a drop of blood? I was expecting a gusher from that poker thing. That is hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/12 "2011-06-28T15:34:41Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > [Bike Thief Hex Chicago Style](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMOZgvKkPqc) > ISorry about the bike, but it would be worth stealing it just for the sake of being able to watch the hex video (which I loved!). You call that a drop of blood? I was expecting a gusher from that poker thing. I wonder if the thief is in Mombasa, in a bar room drinking gin. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/13 "2011-06-28T15:51:49Z")
Ha ha ha! I love everything about this. I like that his shirt says BIKE THIEF and his facial expression is one of anger. Handle bars taped “for comfort!” Terrific. Lady, if I had some way of knowing that one of the ubiquitous red bikes with baskets on them was yours, I swear I’d track it down for you. I feel your pain and loved the hex. I’ve had every bike I’ve ever owned in my entire life stolen, except the one I have now. I’ve had it for about five years, which means it’s due for a taking any day now. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/14 "2011-06-28T16:05:55Z")
Watched the video. Jiminy Cricket! I am never, _ever_ going to mess with the OP. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![The\_Surb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Surb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Surb)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2011, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/15 "2011-06-28T16:13:15Z")
I can’t decide if that is funny or scary. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/16 "2011-06-29T21:02:36Z")
I am truely sorry about your bike being stolen, but how in the world is headless, armless, and dickless Mr. Bike Thief gonna return your bike now? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/17 "2011-06-30T06:47:28Z")
> [@The\_Surb](#): > > I can’t decide if that is funny or scary. It’s both. It’s scunny. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/18 "2011-06-30T07:05:38Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > [Bike Thief Hex Chicago Style](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMOZgvKkPqc) I just love Urban Neorealism cinema. ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/19 "2011-06-30T07:13:14Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > I just love Urban Neorealism cinema. Meh. Me? I just long for the days in college when wimmen thighs like that turned me on. Sorry about your bike, honey. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2011, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909/20 "2011-06-30T08:48:53Z")
Italian neorealist masterpieces aside, bicycle thieves are scum who deserve the very worst forms of hurting. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bike-thievery-in-chicago/586909.md?page=2)