# Bilingual Jokes
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [January 2, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342 "2004-01-02T19:27:54Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Will\_Repair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Will_Repair)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2004, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/1 "2004-01-02T19:27:54Z")
English/Italian
Knock, knock.
“Chi è”
“Dee”
“Dee Chi”
“De key don’t work open de door!”
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### Author:  [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/2 "2004-01-02T20:26:16Z")
English/Russian
Man walks by. A russian comments to his friend “on idiot” (“he’s walking”). The man overhears and launches into tirade: “An idiot? I’ll tell you who’s an idiot…”
(true story)
English/Spanish
…any number of jokes based on Spanish “embarasado” = English “pregnant”. Not sure of spelling…
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### Author:  [@Red\_Matrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Red_Matrix)
#### Post date: [January 2, 2004, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/3 "2004-01-02T20:50:08Z")
What’s Japanese for handkerchief? _Saca Moco_
(That’s spanish for Buger Remover)
A cop is rolling by the border one day and spots a Mexican furiously rattling the burgler bars at a closed down bar. There is a big sign on the building that reads “FOR SALE, NO LEASE”
The cop asks him what he’s up to. The man replys, dice _forsale, no le ase_. (translation: Apply Force, It doesn’t matter)
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### Author:  [@violacrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/violacrane)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/4 "2004-01-03T01:35:56Z")
This woman walked into a bar and asked for a double entendre… so the barman gave her one.
British English/French
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### Author:  [@The\_Punkyova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Punkyova)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/5 "2004-01-03T02:11:58Z")
Several people are eating at a Chinese restaurant, and they decide to have Peking duck. One of them points out that Peking is the old name, the city is currently written Beijing. Shouldn’t the dish be called Beijing duck? They argue about this for a while, and decide to ask the waitress, and pronounce the city the same way she does. When she comes to take their order, they ask her how to pronouce the capital of China. She looks at them like they’ve gone nuts, and says, “Taipei.”
Pity me, dear readers, this was the only joke I could remember all the way through for many years.
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### Author:  [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/6 "2004-01-03T03:32:40Z")
What does a fish do? _¡Nada!_ Spanish for swim. Ha.
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### Author:  [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/7 "2004-01-03T05:07:42Z")
My Spanish teacher told us this when we were learning object pronouns. I don’t remember it exactly, but I think this is close enough.
French/Spanish (and don’t even need the French, really)
A woman walks into a bar, and falls over, injuring herself. A French person who saw the accident says “C’est\* la vie” (That’s life). And the Spanish person sitting next to him says, “Sí, y yo se la vi.” (Yes, and I saw her fall too.)
\*I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be the fancy French “C” – sorry it isn’t.
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### Author:  [@Dragon\_Phoenix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragon_Phoenix)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/8 "2004-01-03T07:37:12Z")
English/Dutch
An American is spending his holiday in the Dutch countryside where he meets a farmer with just a little knowledge of English. He still manages to get some conversation going, and at one moment he asks: and what do you do for a living?
The farmer replies in his best Dunglish: “I fok horses” \*)
The American: “Pardon??”
The farmer, very happy: “Yes! Paarden!” \*\*)
fok = Dutch for raise
Paarden = Dutch for horses
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### Author:  [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/9 "2004-01-03T08:28:38Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TJdude825 \*
> \*\*\*I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be the fancy French “C” – sorry it isn’t. \*\*
Alt+128 = Ç 😉
I used to know a man from the Philippines who told me that _sayonara_ means “this is your spoon” in Tagalog (sa yo = this is yours; nara = spoon). In fact, he said, they even have a joke about that. I should have asked him what the joke was. ☹
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### Author:  [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/10 "2004-01-03T08:47:17Z")
In sophomore year HS Spanish class, our teacher (who was French-born and a fluent speaker of French, English and Spanish) nearly had a giggle fit over the word “con” (Spanish for “with”) one day, and one of my classmates and I were like, “WTF, mate?” (Basically.) The teacher responded that “con” means something different in French than in Spanish, but wouldn’t tell us what it meant. We prodded and prodded and prodded, but she wouldn’t say.
After class, we realized there was only one thing we could do to solve this problem.
Look it up on the Internet.
So we did. “Con” is French for “idiot”.
This resulted in many, many inside jokes in Spanish class, and a very frustrated teacher. That was a fun semester 🆒
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### Author:  [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/11 "2004-01-03T09:16:27Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by fetus \*
> **"Con" is French for “idiot”.**
Uh, it apparently has another meaning too…
[http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat\_21.htm](http://www.lotsofjokes.com/cat_21.htm)
Scroll down to the French section and it’s right in the middle of the list.
:eek:
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### Author:  [@pierre72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pierre72)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 10:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/12 "2004-01-03T10:47:15Z")
Frappe Frappe
Qui est la?
Losti
Losti qui?
Yes, that is why I am knocking.
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### Author:  [@grimpixie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grimpixie)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 11:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/13 "2004-01-03T11:30:51Z")
English/Afrikaans:
What did Adam say to Eve?
_Ek het jou_ **leaf**.
_Ek het jou lief_ = I love you (lit. I have love for you)
_Ek het jou_ (by itself) = I’ve got your…
🙂 Grim
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### Author:  [@TheLoadedDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheLoadedDog)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/14 "2004-01-03T11:50:52Z")
Not a joke, rather a true anecdote…
A Thai friend of mine was asked, in her early days in Australia, “How come?”
Earnestly, she replied: “BUS!”
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### Author:  [@karomon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/karomon)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/15 "2004-01-03T20:08:43Z")
Spanish/English, Polish/English
My husband does this all the time. Whenever I do anything dorky, he says “You are so cool. So cool I’m gonna call you culo.”
Culo (is that how you spell it?) = ass.
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### Author:  [@karomon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/karomon)
#### Post date: [January 3, 2004, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/16 "2004-01-03T20:09:58Z")
Oops, I for got the Polish part.
He sometimes substitutes “kurwa”(whore) for “culo”.
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### Author:  [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/17 "2004-01-04T02:44:44Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by TJdude825 \*
> My Spanish teacher told us this when we were learning object pronouns. I don’t remember it exactly, but I think this is close enough.
>
> French/Spanish (and don’t even need the French, really)
>
> A woman walks into a bar, and falls over, injuring herself. A French person who saw the accident says “C’est\* la vie” (That’s life). And the Spanish person sitting next to him says, “Sí, y yo se la vi.” (Yes, and I saw her fall too.)
>
> \*I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be the fancy French “C” – sorry it isn’t.
Ahem. It is not the “fall” that he saw. He saw “it” when she tripped. Se la vi = I saw her it.
It seems your Spanish teacher missed the joke or you missed her explanation. It is as old as the hills.
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### Author:  [@Mooney252](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mooney252)
#### Post date: [January 4, 2004, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/18 "2004-01-04T05:07:30Z")
> [@](#):
>
> The teacher responded that “con” means something different in French than in Spanish, but wouldn’t tell us what it meant.
While working in a Francophone country in Africa, a Spanish co-worker’s surname was “del Con” – which had to be changed for the classroom. "Con’ in French means ‘idiot’ but really has a perjorative meaning close to what you might expect in English.
But the best cross-language joke that I know is a pilots’ joke:
> [@](#):
>
> Once a British World War II ace was about to give a lecture on dog fighting tactics during the national Air Force day celebrations, where he finally made a reference to one of his flying incidents with the Jerries. He began… “And then I suddenly noticed that those German Fokkers were closing in fast!” And obviously following this, there was a weird expression on the face of the audience, at which the host quickly came in and explained, “Ladies and Gentleman, the Fokker was an aircraft used by the German forces.” The ace, continued, “Yeah, that’s right, but these Fokkers were flying Messerschmidts.”
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### Author:  [@carvercordes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carvercordes)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/19 "2010-10-05T03:56:57Z")
A Mexican man puts two quarters and a nickel into a vending machine but the price is 65 cents. Instead of dispensing the soda the machine it reads “DIME” so the man leans in and whispers “Pepsi”.
“dime” is spanish for “tell me”
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [October 5, 2010, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bilingual-jokes/222342/20 "2010-10-05T04:11:32Z")
> [@TJdude825](#):
>
> \*I’m pretty sure that’s supposed to be the fancy French “C” – sorry it isn’t.
No, “c’est” doesn’t have a cedilla. A cedilla is only for when you have a “c” with an /s/ sound in front of a, u, or o (where normally it would have a /k/ sound), as in “ça,” “acquiesçons”, or “reçu.”
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