# Bill, Bill, Bill. You really have lost it, haven't you? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 21, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606 "2006-09-21T19:50:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Martiju](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@Martiju](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martiju)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/61 "2006-09-22T09:11:35Z")
[QUOTE=tagos] Anyway - as anyone should be able to easily guess the combat experience he is referring was gained in the other ‘Long War’. The War of the Sexes, which resulted in his out of court surrender. [/QUOTE] No, no, no! You’re forgetting that we are all in a combat situation now - in what the BBC now refers to as ‘what America calls the War on Terror’… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tagos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@tagos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tagos)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/62 "2006-09-22T09:16:36Z")
[QUOTE=Martiju] No, no, no! You’re forgetting that we are all in a combat situation now - in what the BBC now refers to as ‘what America calls the War on Terror’… 🙂 [/QUOTE] And the rest of us call TWAT. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/63 "2006-09-22T14:59:32Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Yep, he’s very gleeful about it, too. “Bill Orally”. [/QUOTE] Hmmm… maybe somebody in al-Qaeda had just heard O’Reilly blasting out of somebody’s car stereo one time too many. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/64 "2006-09-22T17:23:43Z")
O’Reilly has delusions of adequacy. I would be quite amazed if any television personality (he isn’t by any stretch of the imagination a journalist) would be on Osama’s hit list. If he was to be on any list, it would be on Bush’s wiretap list, but only for the erotic content of his phone calls. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/65 "2006-09-22T20:02:02Z")
Betcha don’t know who ObL’s number one ally in America is! Turns out, its me. Imagine my surprise! Think progress has a copy of Bungalo Bill’s newest “book”… > **[ThinkProgress](https://thinkprogress.org/)** Excerpts: > [@](#): > > …Who do you think Osama Bin Laden supports in the American culture war: the traditionalists or the secular-progressives? > > ``` > …[T]hink about what I am about to put forth: From his hideout somewhere in the Mulism world, Osama bin Laden and his coheorts have got to be cheering on the S-P [secular-progressive] movement… > > ``` Puking yer guts out yet? > [@](#): > > …All clear-thinking Americans should become opponents of the S-P [secular-progressive] movement for the simple reason of self-preservation… and > [@](#): > > …It is rooted in the one thing that the secular-progressive movement and Al Qaeda have in common: Both outfits believe that the United States of America is fundamentally a bad place. > > …The bedrock belief that America is, and has been, an evil country is crucial to understanding the secular-progressive point of view when it comes to the war on terror… May not be around for a while, I’m going to turn myself in. Thought I loved America, turns out I was \*waaaaay \*wrong! ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/66 "2006-09-22T20:51:04Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] Just curious – if the FBI were to confirm that they did, in fact warn a group that included O’Reilly that he was an al-Q target, what would your reaction be? [/QUOTE] That’s a good question. Myself, I’m curious about something else. If Tommy Franks were to fall down a flight of stairs and shatter like glass, revealing a dozen robot schnauzers that had been occupying his ceramic shellbody, what would your reaction be? As long as we’re dealing in hypotheticals and all. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/67 "2006-09-22T20:58:39Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] That’s a good question. Myself, I’m curious about something else. If Tommy Franks were to fall down a flight of stairs and shatter like glass, revealing a dozen robot schnauzers that had been occupying his ceramic shellbody, what would your reaction be? As long as we’re dealing in hypotheticals and all. [/QUOTE] Again, shock and awe. Unless you mean \*\*miniature \*\*schnauzers. Then, just shock. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/68 "2006-09-22T21:07:31Z")
[Miniature Schnauzer _Puppies_](http://www.domesticsale.com/Classifieds/57072.html) Awwwe! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/69 "2006-09-22T21:17:12Z")
[QUOTE=Steve MB] Hmmm… maybe somebody in al-Qaeda had just heard O’Reilly blasting out of somebody’s car stereo one time too many. [/QUOTE] Oh shit, I forgot all about that. Well, I guess Bill “Orally” can always sic Fox Security on Osama and co. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/70 "2006-09-22T21:23:12Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Again, shock and awe. Unless you mean \*\*miniature \*\*schnauzers. Then, just shock. [/QUOTE] Actually, that would explain a great deal. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/71 "2006-09-22T22:36:04Z")
I’m surprised at you guys. Bill O’Reilly may at times approach the boundaries of good taste in his lonely fight to defend America from … things, and in his zeal he sometimes gets minor details wrong (like the time a Polk award he didn’t win became, in the telling, two Peabodys that he did). But to vilify the man by denying his very real combat history (in the trenches, at the front, taking no prisoners) in a recent [war](http://thinkprogress.org/2005/11/29/oreilly-teaches-viewers-the-true-meaning-of-christmas/) is beyond the pale (and Billy O. knows from pale). The truth of the matter probably goes something like this: **FBI** : Mr. O’Reilly, this is agent Worth. We saw your interview with ABC and we’re afraid there may have been some miscommunication. **O’Reilly** : What, about me being shortlisted for Pope, but declining it out of respect for the _Lethal Weapon_ franchise? Listen, I can explain that– **FBI** : It’s not about that. **O’Reilly** : (Pause) Oh. Good. 'Cause that’s a fact. I _check_ my facts, mister, especially when they’re about His Holiness, me. **FBI** : It’s Mrs., actually. But the claim I’m calling about is the one about you being on an Al Qaeda hit list. **O’Reilly** : Also a fact. **FBI** : Um, no, it really isn’t. **O’Reilly** : That’s impossible. You guys came to my office and said you had good information – _intelligence_, you called it – that I was personally marked for death. **FBI** : That much is true. **O’Reilly** : And that it was a result of my hard-hitting, no-spinning fight for an America I can believe in. **FBI** : Also more or less accurate. **O’Reilly** : Then what’s the deal? I mean, if Osama – **FBI** : _That’s_ it. That’s the problem. We didn’t say Osama. **O’Reilly** : That’s ridiculous, I heard the guy say – **FBI** : Not Osama. _Santa_. Santa is what we said. **O’Reilly** : (Long pause) As in Claus? **FBI** : Yes. **O’Reilly** : Saint Nick? **FBI** : Yes. **O’Reilly** : Kris Kringle? **FBI** : A frequent alias. **O’Reilly** : Santa wants me … dead? **FBI** : “Pushing up mistletoe” is how he put it. **O’Reilly** : But why? **FBI** : Apart from his professed distaste for “that sanctimonious asshole” – I’m just quoting, here, you understand – **O’Reilly** : Yes. **FBI** : --it’s this whole War on Christmas thing. Apparently Santa really doesn’t like your style there. He doesn’t _want_ you on his side, or any side, really. **O’Reilly** : So you didn’t say I’m a target of “The Raghead himself?” **FBI** : No, Mr. O’Reilly. What we said was, and I quote… “You’re going to be fragged, by an elf.” **O’Reilly** : (Really, really long pause) ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2006, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/72 "2006-09-22T23:10:10Z")
[chortling] ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2006, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606/73 "2006-09-23T10:37:56Z")
The sad part is that he can’t even come up with anything as original as “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?” 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-bill-bill-you-really-have-lost-it-havent-you/373606.md?page=3)