# Bill Maher's Real Time, 9/9 **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [September 10, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949 "2005-09-10T04:14:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/1 "2005-09-10T04:14:06Z")
A portion of Bill’s closing monologue, addressed to George Bush: > [@Bill Maher](#): > > Seriously, Mr. President, this job can’t be fun for you any more. There’s no more money to spend, you used up all of that. You can’t start another war because you also used up the army. And now, darn the luck, the rest of your term has become the Bush family nightmare: helping poor people. > > Listen to your mom: the cupboard’s bare, the credit card’s maxed out and no one’s speaking to you. Mission accomplished! > > Now it’s time for you to do what you’ve always done best: lose interest and walk away. Like you did with your military service. And the oil company. And the baseball team. It’s time. Time to move on and try the next fantasy job. How about cowboy or spaceman? > > Now, I know what you’re saying. You’re saying that there are so many other things that you, as president, could involve yourself in. > > Please don’t. > > I know, I know. There’s a lot left to do. There’s a war with Venezuela. Eliminating the sales tax on yachts. Turning the space program over to the church, and Social Security to Fannie Mae. Giving embryos the vote. > > But sir, none of that is going to happen now. Why? Because you govern like Billy Joel drives. > > You’ve performed so poorly I’m surprised you haven’t given yourself a medal. You’re a catastrophe that walks like a man. Herbert Hoover was a shitty president, but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes. On your watch we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans. > > Maybe you’re just not lucky. > > I’m not saying you don’t love this country, I’m just wondering how much worse it could be if you were on the other side. > > So, yes, God does speak to you. And what he’s saying is, “Take a hint!” ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/2 "2005-09-10T05:55:54Z")
_applause_ ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/3 "2005-09-10T06:21:18Z")
Go it! Go itl man! I realize that Bush is not the fons et origo of everything we’re facing right now. But I’ve been watching the series on Ancient Rome on the History Channel, and I see way too many parallels between the U.S. and late-empire Rome. The debasement of the currency. The giving over of our defense to those who have the least stake in our economy. This isn’t going to end well. ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/4 "2005-09-10T06:23:42Z")
To the OP. You’ve brought this upl, yet you say nothing. At least you should offer us some sort of opinion on what’s been said and done. How do you feel about what Maher had to say? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/5 "2005-09-10T06:25:00Z")
MMMMMM, that’s some good Bush-bashing! ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/6 "2005-09-10T06:32:14Z")
At least, I’ll offer something, such as it is. Here our goverment had the chance to do something supportive and wonderful, but instead, they dropped the ball, as it were. We’ve seen today that the head of FEMA, Brown, has been pulled off the job managing the operations in New Orleans. This whole situation took them by surprise. Why? Because they didn’t know enough about the f\*\*\* country that they govern. Yes. Someone ought to have stopped to think: New Orleans is below sea level. Yes, with a huge lake _above_ it. which, as we’ve seen, is capable of flooding that city with drastic consequences. Is NO worth saving? I think it is. Almost every musical revolution for the las 100 years has come from that place. If we have a fraction of the appreciation that is our due, then yes, it is definitely worth saving. ---
**Author:** ![E.Thorp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@E.Thorp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E.Thorp)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/7 "2005-09-10T06:42:40Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > To the OP. > > You’ve brought this upl, yet you say nothing. At least you should offer us some sort of opinion on what’s been said and done. How do you feel about what Maher had to say? I’m not the OP, but I have an opinion. > [@Bill Maher](#): > > On your watch we’ve lost…the city of New Orleans. Out of the mouths of comedians can come great truths, or at least simple ones that remind us where the buck stops. To put it another way: out of the disaster of the last two weeks has come the unusual spectacle of numerous media personalities speaking truth to power, in particular pointing to the unclothed emperor and his four-year “homeland security” scam. Maher is part of this sunshine action, and I thank him for it. Now I know Cafe Society is the place to discuss art and not politics, so let me refine my opinion by saying that I appreciate Maher’s adroit exercise of the craft of comedic monologue in the service of his political point (with which, in this instance, I happen to agree). It seems appropriate that content formerly belonging to the pamphlet or the essay now belongs to the late-night TV show. On Preview… > [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > Is NO worth saving? I think it is. Almost every musical revolution for the las 100 years has come from that place. If we have a fraction of the appreciation that is our due, then yes, it is definitely worth saving. Although I disagree with the logic (that quantity of musical revolutions implies worthiness), I agree with the general sentiment, if I have it right, that an irreplaceable part of our musical heritage, which is to say part of the soul of this country, has drowned. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/8 "2005-09-10T15:31:49Z")
> [@Spectre of Pithecanthropus](#): > > To the OP. > > You’ve brought this up, yet you say nothing. At least you should offer us some sort of opinion on what’s been said and done. How do you feel about what Maher had to say? Well, this is Café Society, not the Pit or GD (although maybe I should have considered posting this in one of those forums), so I don’t want to turn this into a vituperous political discussion. I posted it mainly because I thought it was _funny_, and that people here would enjoy and appreciate it. But it’s probably a safe assumption that if I were a rabid Bush defender, I wouldn’t have posted it. More than that belongs in another forum. Besides as Oscar Wilde said, “I dislike arguments of any kind. They are always vulgar, and often convincing.” ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/9 "2005-09-10T17:33:38Z")
Translation: “I just had to bash Bush in Cafe Society, but the pretext is pretty thin already, so I better not say anything more and push my luck.” ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/10 "2005-09-10T17:53:40Z")
> [@Sam Stone](#): > > …but the pretext is pretty thin already… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/11 "2005-09-10T18:33:18Z")
> [@](#): > > …On your watch we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans… Damn. Just damn. It’s amazing that Bush’s terms in the White House can be summed up in that one sentence. I’ve always said that I don’t hate Bush. I don’t know the man, so how can I hate him? I do, however, _fear_ him. He’s always struck me as a guy who’s only interested in what he can do for himself and his friends, and the best way he could do that was to become president- damn the consequences. Well, we’ve been seeing the consequences for the past five years now. One thing that would go a long way towards improving his image, in my mind, would be for him to say, “Okay, we fucked up. And yeah, most of that is on my head- after all, I’m the President- the buck doesn’t go any higher than my office.” The problem is that he will apparently never do that. The Bush administration’s way of admitting culpability is to point fingers at anyone within range and say, “We didn’t do it- THEY did!” Until the administration is willing to accept blame for the bad things that happen on their watch, things will never improve. We all learned this as children- why didn’t the message stick on Bush? ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/12 "2005-09-10T19:58:50Z")
TWEEEEETTTT!!! :::: Moderator of Cafe Society blows whistle ::: The forum called Cafe Society is about arts and entertainment. A show like Bill Maher’s or Jon Stewart’s, or a column like P J O’Rourk’s, are political satire and as such are certainly “entertainment.” So, if you want to discuss the entertainment value in the Cafe Society forum, that’s fine. “Wasn’t that a funny comment” or “what a sophomoric satire” are in order. But that’s not what we have here: what we have here are political comments, not comments about entertainment. I’m therefore moving the thread to Great Debates, and I’m warning folks that I’m getting damn tired of this. Just because it’s on TV doesn’t mean it goes in the “arts and entertainment” forum. If your focus is on the arts/entertainment aspect, then great, you’re more than welcome in Cafe Society. If your focus is on the politics, then it belongs in Great Debates. **commasense** , you’ve been around long enough to know better. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2005, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/13 "2005-09-10T22:58:39Z")
> [@C K Dexter Haven](#): > > I’m therefore moving the thread to Great Debates, and I’m warning folks that I’m getting damn tired of this. Just because it’s on TV doesn’t mean it goes in the “arts and entertainment” forum. If your focus is on the arts/entertainment aspect, then great, you’re more than welcome in Cafe Society. If your focus is on the politics, then it belongs in Great Debates. What’s the debate? We already have a thread asking if Bush should resign. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/14 "2005-09-11T00:11:45Z")
_grabs some popcorn and props up feet to see what develops from THIS facinating OP_ -XT ---
**Author:** ![Sequent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Sequent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sequent)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2005, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/15 "2005-09-11T00:15:54Z")
I thought the most interesting thing on the show was when George Carlin said, “the Germans lost World War II, but Fascism won it.” ---
**Author:** ![Rhubarb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/59ef9b/32.png) [@Rhubarb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhubarb)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2005, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/16 "2005-09-11T00:28:47Z")
Bill Maher’s monologue looks [eerily familiar](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=333286). Have you been lurking, Bill? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2005, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/17 "2005-09-11T02:38:50Z")
> [@Rhubarb](#): > > Bill Maher’s monologue looks [eerily familiar](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=333286). Have you been lurking, Bill? I dunno about Bill, but I bet he’s got writers who might conceivably look around for stuff to fire their imaginations if you know what I mean. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/18 "2005-09-11T03:15:48Z")
> [@](#): > > On your watch we’ve lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, a piece of the Pentagon, and the city of New Orleans. Oh, the old, “On your watch” trick - employed so you can smear someone with any bad-sounding shit you can think of, whether it had anything to do with him or not. But since we’re playing that game… "Mr. Roosevelt, you should be impeached. On your watch we’ve seen 25% unemployment, destruction of our farmlands, a great depression, an attack that destroyed a good chunk of our naval fleet, and hundreds of thousands of dead Americans overseas! In addition, even though we were attacked by the Japanese in the Pacific, you now have troops fighting Germans in Africa, distracting us from the real war! " By Mr. Maher’s rhetorical standards, Roosevelt should have been put up against a wall and shot. But Maher’s right about one thing: The job can’t be that much fun any more. Hell, if I had to endure six years of snotty anklebiters like Bill Maher yapping at me I’d probably up on the White House roof with a rifle. ---
**Author:** ![XT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xt/32/456_2.png) [@XT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XT)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/19 "2005-09-11T03:23:02Z")
Who the hell would WANT to be the frigging president anyway? Christ, and these fools sell their souls practically (or maybe they really DO 😉 ) for the damn job. -XT ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2005, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949/20 "2005-09-11T03:38:48Z")
Maher has gotten to the point that he would pay to hear himself gargle, and apparently so would some others on this board that are swooning over his little stand up bit. I’m not a big GWB fan, but Maher’s self satisfied litany of Bush’s grand failures “on his watch” are cheap, lazy and asinine. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-mahers-real-time-9-9/320949.md?page=2)