# Bill would make sex toys illegal in South Carolina
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 23, 2006, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907 "2006-04-23T23:20:41Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/21 "2006-04-24T04:42:28Z")
> [@Least Original User Name Ever](#):
>
> “fake dongs!!”
“How hard do we want it?”
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/22 "2006-04-24T04:45:26Z")
“Eighteen inches ice-blue jelly!”
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### Author:  [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/23 "2006-04-24T04:50:13Z")
[QUOTE=Metacom]
Convict A: I’m in for murdering my toddler and eating his still-beating heart.
Convict B: I’m in for getting smashed and driving my car into a minivan.
Convict C: I stole $2,000 worth of tools from my employer.
Convict D: I had a vibrator!
[Alice’s Restaurant]
And convicts A,B and C all moved away from her on the bench.
[/Alice’s]
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### Author:  [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/24 "2006-04-24T05:21:34Z")
On a hill overlooking Columbia, a tough as nails detective in a brown trench coat looks down at the city lights and shakes his fist:
“I’ll find you Dildo Baron, where ever you are”
And a distant yell answers from the town below: “No you won’t”
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### Author:  [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/25 "2006-04-24T05:37:39Z")
We need a modern-day Tom Joad in South Carolina. A man with courage in his heart, a dildo in his fist, and a butt plug in his… hand. I can almost hear his voice now.
“I’ll be aroun’ in the dark. I’ll be everywhere-wherever you look. Wherever there is a fight so horny people can get off, I’ll be there. Wherever there is a cop beatin’ up a guy ridin’ a Sybian, I’ll be there… I’ll be in the way women yell when they didn’t quite get there and need a ‘friend’ to help ‘em finish. I’ll be in the way kids laugh when they’re alone and they know it’s time to bust out the cock rings, and when the people are clampin’ the electrodes on their nipples and livin’ in the houses they build - I’ll be there, too.”
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### Author:  [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/26 "2006-04-24T05:47:04Z")
Was that from _The Gropes of Wrath_?
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### Author:  [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/27 "2006-04-24T06:16:06Z")
> [@Malodorous](#):
>
> On a hill overlooking Columbia, a tough as nails detective in a brown trench coat looks down at the city lights and shakes his fist:
>
> “I’ll find you Dildo Baron, where ever you are”
>
> And a distant yell answers from the town below: “No you won’t”
“Yes I Will!”
“D’oh!” 😃
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### Author:  [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/28 "2006-04-24T06:21:12Z")
> [@OttoDaFe](#):
>
> Was that from _The Gropes of Wrath_?
More or less.
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### Author:  [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/29 "2006-04-24T12:33:05Z")
> [@Marley23](#):
>
> At least the cops would be getting off easy.
Sure, they’ll be the ones with all of the sex toys. 😃
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### Author:  [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/30 "2006-04-24T12:39:46Z")
Join us next month, when South Carolina bans dancing, other religions, and fun!
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### Author:  [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/31 "2006-04-24T13:48:34Z")
Cliche, I know. But sometimes you have to:
“South Carolina: too small for a nation, too large for a lunatic asylum.”
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### Author:  [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/32 "2006-04-24T14:03:26Z")
Hmmmm…says here that the state motto of the great state of South Carolina is:
Dum Spiro Spero" - While I breathe, I hope
there seem to be too many jokes in there for just one post. Carry on!
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### Author:  [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/33 "2006-04-24T14:14:12Z")
I’m assuming that it isn’t just dildos and vibrators that are to be contraband, but also pocket pussies, and blow up dolls as well, correct? _looks at the forum the OP is in_ That is messed up! I wonder if the same ideas that got the various anti-oral sex laws stricken in several states could be applied to crush this trend? Sexuality is something that to me, is as personal as spirituality/religion. Within certain boundaries that are set up for the good of society as a whole, it should not be limited AT ALL. When I say “certain boundaries” I mean things like: you can’t headhunt, or eat human flesh, or sacrifice a blond virgin boy to the Holy Lightbulb of Doom, nor can you have sex with children etc. Those restrictions I can understand and agree with, they are like the rules for the form of a Sonnet or Haiku, you follow the boundaries in order to express yourself.
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### Author:  [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/34 "2006-04-24T14:16:11Z")
And now, I have the perfect answer for the next time my mother asks me if I’d like to relocate to Charleston to be closer to her and Dad.
“Well, Mom, if it weren’t enough that I don’t like the weather and you and I will end up killing each other if we have to interact too often, _now_ I’ll be a criminal from the moment I cross the border.”
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/35 "2006-04-24T14:22:54Z")
They can’t pass this! It would doom the “dirty old man” shop at South of the Border!
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### Author:  [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/36 "2006-04-24T14:26:41Z")
I think **Qadgop** is a tad late with his April Fool’s joke.
😛
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### Author:  [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/37 "2006-04-24T14:54:00Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#):
>
> This could take civil disobedience to a whole new level of fun. Imagine the protest marches.
>
> There is a Boiling Springs in North Carolina, right near the SC border. The part of the border near Spartanburg, in fact. I guess that’s his home rather than his constituency. But, they state that Spartanburg is is “Home County.” Since this is part of the SC government, I’m guessing they have their terminolgy reversed.
Curious fact: Carrboro, N.C., is home to Adam & Eve, one of the country’s largest adult novelty retailers.
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### Author:  [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/38 "2006-04-24T15:15:05Z")
Worse case is they’ll bring back the traditional South Carolinian sex toys: slaves.
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### Author:  [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/39 "2006-04-24T16:30:40Z")
> [@Marley23](#):
>
> “How hard do we want it?”
"Firm-yet-flexible!..and with the clit-banger and the humming and vibrating, I’d assume…and the pretty colors…and the mp3 player…and the microwave…the egg beater…drink stirrer…and the pneumatic drill press add-on…
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [April 24, 2006, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bill-would-make-sex-toys-illegal-in-south-carolina/353907/40 "2006-04-24T16:38:17Z")
> [@Mellivora capensis](#):
>
> I think **Qadgop** is a tad late with his April Fool’s joke.
>
> 😛
While it may be risible, it’s no joke.
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