# Billionth Post **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 25, 2001, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652 "2001-01-25T02:08:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/1 "2001-01-25T02:08:33Z")
Well, there seems to be a hell of a lot of interest in the Millionth Post which - as **Silver** must be getting REALLY sick of pointing out - has alredy been and gone. So, i figure, with all this interest in a Millionth Post (which is no longer a factor) we should really do some serious planning as to what we’re gonna do for the Billionth Post. Is there gonna be some kinda prize? Maybe some baloons? Champagne fountain? Lawn darts? Personally, i’m all for cage dancers, but that’s just me ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/2 "2001-01-25T02:14:42Z")
Look you ignorant fuck… This has already been brought up twice. Maybe if you spent more time reading the boards rather than drooling you would know this. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/3 "2001-01-25T02:17:16Z")
Cough, cough, cough, dickweed, cough… ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/4 "2001-01-25T02:19:03Z")
I think the winner should get serenaded by a spoon concerto. Either that or called an ass goblin by Silver Fire. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/5 "2001-01-25T02:19:57Z")
Okay, smartass. LOL or something. ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/6 "2001-01-25T02:21:06Z")
You say ass goblin like it’s a bad thing ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/7 "2001-01-25T02:23:31Z")
Well, **SF** , it’s a far sight better than “goblin’ ass!” ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/8 "2001-01-25T02:25:47Z")
That comment was supposed to be directed towards **oldscratch**. ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/9 "2001-01-25T02:26:23Z")
I prayed that the ass goblins would go away. They left in an ass goblin boat. I missed them. I cried. I prayed that the ass goblins would return some day. They came back wearing hawaiian outfits. I kissed them. I laughed. Ass goblins and I, shared some cookies, and some cake. Then we went to the library and got books out about shiny rocks and porpoises. pat ---
**Author:** ![Upham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Upham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upham)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/10 "2001-01-25T02:26:23Z")
Just what the hell _is_ a dickweed anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/11 "2001-01-25T02:30:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*Well, **SF** , it’s a far sight better than “goblin’ ass!” \*\* Even if it wasn’t directed at me, that was funny as hell! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/12 "2001-01-25T02:33:26Z")
Oh. My. GOD. “Ass goblin boat.” Pat, I might be a bit loopy on painkillers (anyone wanna borrow my uterus?) but that’s pure genius, man. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/13 "2001-01-25T02:33:31Z")
::Bows:: Thank you, thank you. I’ll be at the Chicago Improv all week. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/14 "2001-01-25T02:36:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ChiefScott \* > \*\*That comment was supposed to be directed towards **oldscratch**. \*\* Oops! I thought you were poking fun at the fact that scratchie is in San Francisco (get it… SF). ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/15 "2001-01-25T04:00:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rasa \* > \*\*(anyone wanna borrow my uterus?) \*\* Could I? I’ve got this party to go to on Sunday, and I’ve got nothing to accessorize with. ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2001, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/billionth-post/51652/16 "2001-01-25T04:04:53Z")
Hmm. Funny, that. I have a party to go to Sunday too. And I can assure you we’d get funny looks if we shared my uterus at this party! 😉