# Bills of Mortality

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bills-of-mortality/149749>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 20, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bills-of-mortality/149749 "2003-01-20T05:10:15Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Virgowitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9fc348/32.png) [@Virgowitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Virgowitch)\
**Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bills-of-mortality/149749/1 "2003-01-20T05:10:15Z")

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By John Graunt of London

The diseases and casualties this year, being 1632:

(And you thought YOU had it bad…)

Abortive and Stillborn 44  
Affrighted 1:eek:  
Aged 628  
Ague 43  
Apoplex and Meagrom 17  
Bit With a Mad Dog 1  
Bleeding 3  
Bloody Flux, Scowring 348  
Brused, Issue, Sores and Ulcers 28  
Burned and Scalded 5  
Burst and Rupture 9  
Cancer and Wolf 10  
Canker 1  
Childbed 171  
Chrisomes and Infants 2268  
Cold and Cough 55  
Colick, Stone, and Strangury 56  
Consumption 1797  
Convulsion 241  
Cut of the Stone 5  
Dead in the Street, and Starved 6  
Dropsy and Swelling 267  
Drowned 34  
Executed and Prest to Death 18  
Falling Sickness 7  
Fever 1108  
Fistula 13  
Flux and Smallpox 531  
French Pox 12;)  
Gangrene 5  
Gout 4  
Grief 11  
Jaundies 43  
Jawfain 8  
Impostume 74  
Killed by Several Accidents 46  
King’s Evil 38  
Lethargie 2  
Livergrown 87  
Lunatique 5  
Made Away Themselves 15  
Measles 80  
Murthered 7  
Over-laid and Starved at Nurse 7  
Palsie 25  
Piles 1  
Plague 8  
Planet 13  
Pleurisie and Spleen 36  
Purple and Spotted Fever 38  
Quinsie 7  
Rising of the Lights 98  
Sciatica 1  
Scurvy and Itch 9  
Suddenly 62:confused:  
Surfeit 86  
Swine Pox 6  
Teeth 470  
Thrush and Sore Mouth 40  
Tympany 13  
Tissick 34  
Vomiting 1  
Worms 27

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\
**Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bills-of-mortality/149749/2 "2003-01-20T05:25:23Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Virgowitch \*  
> **Killed by Several Accidents 46**

I really hope this means “killed by various types of accidents” and not “involved in several accidents each”.

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**Author:** ![Virgowitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/9fc348/32.png) [@Virgowitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Virgowitch)\
**Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bills-of-mortality/149749/3 "2003-01-20T19:26:01Z")

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Frockulance

Imperiscope

The Weasels

Transdifferation of the Tween

Rendered, or Threw a Trout

Besconed

Twaddled

Mispatched

Trunculectomy

No Insurance

Kaiser Permanente Insurance

Strained

Burst Pendulum

Dimming of the bulb

The Queens’ Corset

Pointlessly

Aimlessly

Mistakenly

Adam, and Eve, and Pinchmetight

Mareseatoats

Doeseatoats

Littlelambseativy

Crenulations of the Queef

The Spanish Panic

Sturn und Drang

Flopsy

Mopsy

Cottontail

Remorselessly

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![RadioWave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/91b2a8/32.png) [@RadioWave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RadioWave)\
**Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bills-of-mortality/149749/4 "2003-01-20T20:54:50Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Over-laid and Starved at Nurse 7

Oh wow. I mean, oh wow!