# Bin Laden's body: now what? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 2, 2011, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441 "2011-05-02T03:18:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/61 "2011-05-02T19:01:20Z")
He’s wondering why it’s so damn hot, why he can’t get ice water and where the hell are all the promised virgins. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/62 "2011-05-02T19:02:07Z")
Longest. Waterboarding. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/63 "2011-05-02T19:04:38Z")
> [@joebuck20](#): > > …Having said that I wonder if the soldiers involved in the operation that brought him down took turns pissing on his corpse. They were professionals on a mission, not Junior Marines sitting at their keyboards with childish visions of revenge. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/64 "2011-05-02T19:44:39Z")
They probably got the hell out of there after the firefight and capturing the body. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/65 "2011-05-02T20:17:11Z")
> [@Hyperelastic](#): > > Hard to believe there are people out there who would welcome Bin Laden’s demise yet wring their hands over whether his body was washed an odd number of times. Clearly you haven’t been following current affairs for the last few decades. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/66 "2011-05-02T21:02:27Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Longest. Waterboarding. Ever. Thread win. Much as I would enjoy the thought of grinding him up and feeding him to pigs and then having their feces on permanent display in Fort Bragg, I have to agree that this was correctly handled. The wheels of justice grindeth slow, but they grind exceeding small. bin Laden is currently answering for his deeds before a Judge much greater, and more just, than any here and now. Probably premature to say anything, but I have a nephew in Special Forces assigned to that area, and it is not beyond the realm of possibility that he was on that mission. I am currently checking with my brother. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Mangosteen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Mangosteen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangosteen)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/67 "2011-05-02T22:31:00Z")
> [@cuauhtemoc](#): > > A “bin Laden is alive!!!” conspiracy theory would be really stupid. If he’s alive, wouldn’t he just release a video in the next couple of days saying “I’m not dead! They didn’t get me!”? He has no interest in letting people think he’s dead, like Elvis or Hitler. So unless a new video comes out very soon, which it won’t, not only is he merely dead, he’s really most sincerely dead. The theory is that he is alive AND in US custody. No one is going to say that the US faked the whole thing. He won’t be able to make any videos from Gitmo. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/68 "2011-05-02T22:33:42Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > He’s wondering why it’s so damn hot, why he can’t get ice water and where the hell are all the promised virgins. After dying a grisly death in a fire fight, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he was greeted by George Washington. “How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry came up from behind, “You wanted to end the American’s liberty, so they gave you death!” Henry punched Osama in the nose. James Madison came next and said, “This is why I allowed the government to provide for the common defense!” He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama’s knees. Osama was subject to similar beatings from Edmund Randolph, James Monroe and 67 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson hurled him back toward the gate where he was to be judged. As Osama awaited his journey to his final very hot destination, he screamed, “This is not what I was promised!” An angel replied, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?” ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/69 "2011-05-02T22:43:49Z")
LMAO! ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/70 "2011-05-02T22:55:17Z")
You forgot Robin Williams’ next bit, where Osama is screaming “Jesus! Jesus!” and St. Peter turns to Jesus and says, “Hey Jesus, you called for a taxi?” ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/71 "2011-05-02T23:52:29Z")
I have “there must be 50 ways to dispose-o-sama” in the back of my head… ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/72 "2011-05-03T01:26:56Z")
> [@Mangosteen](#): > > The theory is that he is alive AND in US custody. No one is going to say that the US faked the whole thing. He won’t be able to make any videos from Gitmo. Oh. Well, in that case, it’s still dumb, because why would the US want to keep it a secret that they had him in custody? What, they’re afraid of an al Qaeda rescue mission? ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/73 "2011-05-03T01:46:43Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Clearly you haven’t been following current affairs for the last few decades. Can you expand on that? Who exactly is it that would demand rigid adherence to Muslim burial rites for, not Muslims in general, but Osama bin Laden himself, yet condemn bin Laden’s entire philosophy as un-Islamic? ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/74 "2011-05-03T02:17:55Z")
> [@the lone cashew](#): > > Bury him at Sea World, he can be junk food for Shamu and the gang. I would have weighed him down with a chunk of the WTC. Not a nice piece of steel, but a crappy piece of concrete with rebar sticking out of it. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/75 "2011-05-03T02:21:07Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > I have “there must be 50 ways to dispose-o-sama” in the back of my head… Oddly, that was the direction of Osama’s last thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/76 "2011-05-03T02:27:34Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > Oddly, that was the direction of Osama’s last thoughts. Riddle: What was the last thing to pass through Osama’s mind before he died? A 5.56 cal. round ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/77 "2011-05-03T03:38:26Z")
Perhaps Osama should have been brought back alive to Washington DC for an old-fashioned [Triumph](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jugurtha). And then throw him in [del]the Tullianum[/del] Gitmo. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/78 "2011-05-03T03:56:48Z")
> [@Girl\_From\_Mars](#): > > Thanks for being the first voice of reason in this thread. I know he did some horrible things, but revenge has been had. So, the idea is that after we blow his head off, we treat him with some respect? Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/79 "2011-05-03T04:02:05Z")
> [@Bridget\_Burke](#): > > They were professionals on a mission, not Junior Marines sitting at their keyboards with childish visions of revenge. I know a few professionals that scream like idiots at football games, and you think it’s below professional soldiers to take a whiz on the body of a man that caused the murders of thousands of his (the US soldiers) wards? Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441/80 "2011-05-03T04:20:23Z")
So what became of the other casualties? Are they feeding the fish too? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bin-ladens-body-now-what/580441.md?page=5)