I sort of agree. By the 6th drink the train has left the station. I’d say 3 would be a better test.
But doesn’t everyone who drinks? When I come home from work and curl up on the couch with a glass of wine or two, that’s a “vacation” from the day’s stresses. Having drinks with a group of friends is a sort of escape from everyday drudgery. Using alcohol occasionally to unwind doesn’t mean you’re an alcoholic, not unless you NEED it to get through the day.
I don’t get why you’re beating yourself up so much, but if it really bothers you that much, just stop.
Maybe you are right. Someone else mentioned that my shame and neuroticism might be the bigger issue here. That is possible.
Just my experience to add to the pile: this is exactly why I drank and why I’m an alcoholic (among other addictive behaviors). At some point in my life, I stopped knowing how to deal with stress and negative emotions and tried to compartmentalize. I ended up never dealing with the stress and negative emotions and it manifested itself as addiction issues that continued to pop up in different forms as a way to deal with teh sadz until I started actually *dealing *with them (a current work in progress). If you are drinking to avoid thinking, be careful. As long as you are working your way around to actually deal with stress and emotions in a healthy way, you are probably fine (though binge drinking is unequivocally risky in itself). If you aren’t dealing with stress and emotions in a healthy way, you might want to talk to someone.
Thank you for the insightful post EmAnJ.
This discussion really resonates for me, as I think I behave very similarly, except now in my early forties it’s down from twice a week to once a month. I do it because I enjoy it, it’s a great night out. But in addition to a change in frequency, something else changed around my mid thirties. I’d only very occasionally been a ‘grumpy’ drunk (rather than angry) and had never been tempted to drink alone, what would be the point? Anyway, some issues I’d not really thought about for many years surfaced, I had a good long think about them, slowly resolved them (rather boring and vague childhood issues which I suppose it wouldn’t seem unreasonable to be somewhat angry about) and felt much happier.
I think as a result of this, I found myself drinking slightly less on big nights out, maybe going for a water after my 7th/8th beer, felt happier the next day and stopped waking up with we all used to call ‘the fear’. I don’t really see a problem here, but it’s always good to have a bit of a think every so often, check you’re all good.
With regard to a definition of binge drinking as 5 drinks in an evening for a man, then most of my country has a problem.
Why? Drinking is fun. Many activities become more fun with alcohol.
If by “have fun” you mean throwing a bar stool through a window, then, yes, that is a drinking problem.
That’s kind of where I am at with things. Like if I go to team trivia on Wednesday night and don’t drink it’s still fun. But it’s a lot MORE fun if we all get a little tipsy.
Some things to consider (no need to answer publicly if you don’t care to):
For you, does drinking always mean binge drinking? Or are you able to have one or two and then quit?
Do you have any family history of substance abuse?
Typically on week nights if I go out to dinner or do something social I am fine having a couple drinks and calling it a night. For example, Thursday night I am going to be an NBA game and will no doubt have some beers but I have to work in the morning so I will be home at a reasonable hour. I tend to over indulge on occasional weekends when I am either in an extremely good or extremely bad mood. Not sure what that means.
No one in my immediate family is an acknowledged addict, although I am aware of a sibling who had some problems. She stopped everything pretty much cold turkey when she got pregnant. My mom has a few glasses of wine every night but is completely functional.
Did you happen to grow up with people who excessively moralized about drinking?
Here’s the way I see it. If drinking is something that is making your life better - a couple of glasses of wine with dinner, some beer with friends - that’s the way it should be. If you find it’s making your life worse - you’re pissing your friends off, spending a lot of time hung over, getting into trouble - that might be a sign it’s time to cut back.
Also, I don’t think it’s been mentioned yet, but those feelings of guilt you get when you are really hung over, even though you didn’t do anything to feel guilty about, are actually caused by excessive drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and messes with your physical chemistry. This can result in feelings of guilt and depression the next day.
The way to deal with that is to make sure you eat something before you go out drinking, and pace yourself so you don’t get too drunk. Drink a glass of water every second or third drink. I find I sometimes would drink too much, not because I was trying to, but simply because I like having something in my hand (which tended to be a glass of alcohol). By switching to water every now and then, it helps me pace myself (also water is good for preventing hangovers). My buddy used to call this staying within the “window”. Buzzed enough that you’re having a good time, but not so drunk you become an asshole or make yourself sick.
It’s the difference between feeling like shit the next day because you’re hung over and merely being tired because you were drinking all night.
Or you can stop drinking if it really bothers you.
:dubious:
It completely depends on how fast you drink those five or more drinks in a single occasion. If I drank five drinks in one hour even after a large meal I guarantee you I would blow over .08, and so would almost anyone else, even if they didn’t feel inebriated.
How big are those glasses, and how many is a few? 