# Bionic Monkey Arms **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840 "2005-03-04T01:39:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/1 "2005-03-04T01:39:52Z")
[Boi-oi-oi-ing.](http://newsbureau.upmc.com/TX/SchwartzArmResearch2005.htm) > [@](#): > > As a step toward that goal, University of Pittsburgh researchers report that a monkey outfitted with a child-sized robotic arm controlled directly by its own brain signals is able to feed itself chunks of fruits and vegetables. The researchers trained the monkey to feed itself by using signals from its brain that are passed through tiny electrodes, thinner than a human hair, and fed into a specially designed algorithm that tells the arm how to move. > > “The beneficiaries of such technology will be patients with spinal cord injuries or nervous system disorders such as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or ALS,” said Andrew Schwartz, Ph.D., professor of neurobiology at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and senior researcher on the project. No idea of how much the arm costs, however. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/2 "2005-03-04T01:44:54Z")
When I opened this thread I was expecting “Bionic Monkey Arms” to be the name of a band. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/3 "2005-03-04T02:22:02Z")
Oh boy, are we going to regret this when the marauding, cybernetic monkeys of doom drag us out of your post-apocalyptic hideouts to turn us into little cybernetic monkey purina. ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/4 "2005-03-04T02:26:31Z")
I bet this arm will be a tireless poo-flinger. Every affluent monkey will want one. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/5 "2005-03-04T02:40:25Z")
> [@pinkfreud](#): > > I bet this arm will be a tireless poo-flinger. Every affluent monkey will want one. Don’t you mean “effluent monkey”? ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/6 "2005-03-04T03:02:38Z")
I, for one, welcome our new Bionic Monkey overlords. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/7 "2005-03-04T03:10:20Z")
You’re late. We did this one _weeks_ ago: > **[Monkeys Control Robotic Arm with Brain!](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=303040)** > > That’s the Headline on Yahoo! news (except for the exclamation point, which I added). It reads like the intertitle from some cheap 1950s science fiction/horror thriller. Who cares about grabbing fruits and vegetables? we know what they really want. ... ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/8 "2005-03-04T03:14:55Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > You’re late. We did this one _weeks_ ago: > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=303040](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=303040) Yes, but you didn’t have a cool word like “bionic” in your thread title. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/9 "2005-03-04T13:25:29Z")
Let us know when they make bionic wings for monkeys, ones that allow flight. Of course, they’ll have to be sold through Proctologists’ offices… ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/10 "2005-03-04T14:50:51Z")
Hmmmm… Cross the “Six Million Dollar Man” with “Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp”… Sounds like a winner! 2 of my favorite childhood shows, call Hollywood! ---
**Author:** ![WhiteyFoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3e96dc/32.png) [@WhiteyFoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhiteyFoo)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bionic-monkey-arms/292840/11 "2005-03-04T16:38:05Z")
Damn you CynicalGabe, damn you!!! I wanted that line.