# birthdays
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 17, 2012, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774 "2012-08-17T13:33:35Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@wenrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wenrid)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/1 "2012-08-17T13:33:35Z")
Would you be upset if your SO of 5 yrs forgot your birthday? He mentioned nothing at all… just a simple Happy Birthday would have been fine…
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/2 "2012-08-17T13:44:54Z")
No, but we don’t pay much attention to birthdays at Casa Fidelius.
How you treat each other on the other 364 days of the year is far more significant than what is said on one day.
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### Author:  [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/3 "2012-08-17T13:45:43Z")
I don’t think there is a factual answer here. It sounds like you are asking for an opinion. This is better suited in IMHO.
But to answer your question, I would probably be upset, unless my SO was just a forgetful person in general. Does he/she remember other people’s birthdays but just not yours?
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### Author:  [@wenrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wenrid)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/4 "2012-08-17T14:02:29Z")
If I’ve posted in the wrong forum I’m sorry… I’m new here and just getting used to it… If you can tell me how to delete this question from here I’d be happy to.
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/5 "2012-08-17T14:03:23Z")
> [@wenrid](#):
>
> Would you be upset if your SO of 5 yrs forgot your birthday? He mentioned nothing at all… just a simple Happy Birthday would have been fine..
Was your birthday today?
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### Author:  [@wenrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wenrid)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/6 "2012-08-17T14:04:44Z")
yesterday
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/7 "2012-08-17T14:07:24Z")
> [@wenrid](#):
>
> If I’ve posted in the wrong forum I’m sorry.. I’m new here and just getting used to it… If you can tell me how to delete this question from here I’d be happy to.
Don’t worry-I reported it using that little red triangle with the exclamation point in it, and a moderator will probably be by shortly to move it.
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/8 "2012-08-17T14:07:35Z")
> [@wenrid](#):
>
> If I’ve posted in the wrong forum I’m sorry.. I’m new here and just getting used to it… If you can tell me how to delete this question from here I’d be happy to.
They don’t delete threads here(except spam or socks). A mod will move it to the correct forum. It’s no big deal. No harm no foul.
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### Author:  [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/9 "2012-08-17T14:09:10Z")
Happy belated birthday!
Yes, I would be upset. Birthday’s aren’t a huge deal in our house, but we do generally get each other a card and small gift.
How have you previously celebrated your birthdays with each other?
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### Author:  [@wenrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wenrid)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/10 "2012-08-17T14:12:05Z")
Most of the time we are on holidays and dont have a whole lot of money so just a simple card and a happy birthday wish is good. We dont go to extremes. His is in December so it’s so close to xmas we dont do birthday gifts.
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### Author:  [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/11 "2012-08-17T14:13:46Z")
So it definitely sounds like unusual behaviour from him. How is your relationship in general? Do you plan on telling him that he forgot your birthday?
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### Author:  [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/12 "2012-08-17T14:15:08Z")
> [@wenrid](#):
>
> Most of the time we are on holidays and dont have a whole lot of money so just a simple card and a happy birthday wish is good. We dont go to extremes. His is in December so it’s so close to xmas we dont do birthday gifts.
You should this time-a small bouquet of forget-me-nots.
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### Author:  [@wenrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wenrid)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/13 "2012-08-17T14:18:25Z")
I’m not telling him…I’m going to wait til someone else mentions it and then hopefully he’ll be ashamed of himself. He is a very self absorbed person anyways… I don’t know why I thought he’d remember. Wishful thinking I guess. lol
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### Author:  [@wenrid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wenrid)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/14 "2012-08-17T14:25:08Z")
I figured his only got 4 days to remember his parents bday and his daughter and myself… his dad and daughter are both in April and his mom and me are both in August…
Sorry I guess I just had to vent!
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### Author:  [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/15 "2012-08-17T14:25:45Z")
So…you’re going to spend the next few days being mad at him, without telling him why, in the hopes that someone else will tell him? Does that sound mature to you?
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### Author:  [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/16 "2012-08-17T14:33:11Z")
Happy belated brithday.
Moved from General Questions to IMHO.
**samclem** , Moderator
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### Author:  [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/17 "2012-08-17T14:37:42Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#):
>
> So…you’re going to spend the next few days being mad at him, without telling him why, in the hopes that someone else will tell him? Does that sound mature to you?
I must agree with sandra.
That trick never works. All you wil accomplish is to make him feel that you are angry for no reason at all. If you have a gripe, mention it. That’s called “communication” and is a very good basis for a relationship.
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### Author:  [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/18 "2012-08-17T14:43:36Z")
First - Happy Belated Birthday
Second - **sandra** is right. Tell him it hurt your feelings and that you need for him to remember these few dates. Heck if you want to volunteer to remember his parents for him. If he uses an electronic calendaring system to keep track of appointments put everyone’s (including yours) birthdays in it.
Third - (you can swap this into second place if it works better for you) Do something for yourself for your birthday. Take a couple hours to do something that makes you happy just for you.
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### Author:  [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/19 "2012-08-17T16:28:19Z")
> [@wenrid](#):
>
> I’m not telling him…I’m going to wait til someone else mentions it and then hopefully he’ll be ashamed of himself. He is a very self absorbed person anyways… I don’t know why I thought he’d remember. Wishful thinking I guess. lol
It would definitely hurt my feelings.
BUT your strategy for dealing with it is kind of immature, too. Do mention it to him. Do NOT shame him. This will bite you in the ass for sure. Get some kind of plan in place that will ensure that your birthday is not overlooked in the future.
As my birthday drew to a close and he said nothing, I’d have crawled onto his lap and said something like, “I’m getting anxious because it’s 11 PM and there’s only one hour left in my birthday-- which is today-- and the day won’t be complete for me until I hear ‘Happy Birthday’ from your own two lips!” (said in a lighthearted mock/anxitey sort of way)
You’re supposed to make it \*easy \*for someone to love you, not set up tests and trials! You’ve been together FIVE years? If he has remembered your B-day in the past, then maybe something else is up. If y’all are still together next year, I’d blatantly remind him the week/day before. Put a post-it on the bathroom mirror or something.
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### Author:  [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthdays/631774/20 "2012-08-17T16:37:27Z")
A belated happy birthday, **wenrid**. I agree with the others, don’t pout in silence. If it matters to you, say or do something now.
My SO seems to have a mental block about my birthday. He remembers that I have one around this time of year (it’s today, actually) but he can’t remember whether it’s August or September, let alone which date.
I don’t really take it personally, that’s just the way he is. So I just make sure to say something a few weeks in advance, and make sure it’s written on his calendar.
Roddy
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