# Birthing at home: Getting over the fear. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 10, 2011, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990 "2011-06-10T16:44:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/241 "2011-06-16T20:30:45Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > But you couldn’t be at home, because the midwife wasn’t available to assist you, and the assistant/doula thought your baby was dead. > > Do I have that right? > > And you’d do it again? I don’t regret the transfer. The transfer was the right thing at the time in the circumstances. The #1 priority for me was a healthy baby and mother. It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have preferred to have no complications and stayed at home, so yup, you have it right. But to be clear, our OB missed the birth too, and had we been in the hospital they would have thought the baby was dead too at first. They would have been using the same equipment as the doula to start with. The midwife would have had equipment on hand to get us to the hospital even faster had my wife’s labor not been so very fast (under 4 hours from start to birth), and the hospital would have c sectioned my wife at the first sign of trouble had we been there the whole time. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/242 "2011-06-16T20:30:55Z")
> [@NAF1138](#): > > ou don’t have a huge section of risks as well. They are just different risks. > > The US has one of the highest labor related infant mortality rates in the world (don’t make me dig for stats please, I no longer have them at hand. Look for WHO stats on the subject.) The US is also one of the few countries that has the majority of its births performed in hospitals with medical interventions and with the babies delivered by surgeons. More isn’t always better, sometimes it’s just more. First world, yep. But I don’t think the biggest variable there is our hospitals. If you start looking at the stats, they are truly horrifying when broken out by race and by state - and match pretty closely to poverty statistics, obesity statistics and other general health statistics. Too many Americans don’t take care of themselves, they don’t get prenatal care, they aren’t properly insured to get prenatal care if they want it, and where programs are available to provide it to the un or under insured, running through the process takes a PhD. If you start looking at white women giving birth in Connecticut, things aren’t bad at all. Look at Black women giving birth in Michigan and they are scary. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/243 "2011-06-16T20:33:23Z")
> [@NAF1138](#): > > Phlosphr, > > I don’t have the time or the energy to read the whole thread. I got to the end of the first page and got pissed and just skipped to the quick reply box. > > I am a dad who went through a home birth. In said home birth we ended up having to do a hospital transfer because my daughter flipped breech mid labor. She was born vaginally (!) at the hospital. PM me if you want to talk. When we have our next kid we don’t plan to do anything differently, in fact the transfer just cemented in our minds that home birth is the way to go for us. > > I did all the research you did (probably watched the same movies even) and have been through it on both sides and am happy to talk you through whatever you want to talk about. > > [Link to my kid’s birth story on the Giraffe boards. The thread is from the time her water broke and has some real time updates.](http://www.giraffeboards.com/showthread.php?t=7189) I’m so confused. You used **castor oil** to induce labor but were against hospitals ? And you did this AT HOME?! by yourself? > [@](#): > > At three o’clock Ivy was at the end of first stage labor. Contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and a minute long, and they hurt. They hurt a lot. They hurt WAY more than Katie thought they should. At first she thought it was because Ivy was fighting the contractions and not staying relaxed and breathing enough, but we soon realized that Ivy was about to enter transition, and Catherine hadn’t shown up yet. It had only been an hour, things were going WAY faster than anyone was expecting. Katie called Catherine who got into the car and started to head to our house. The birthing tub was only about half full at this point, so Katie went to go bucket more water into it so Ivy could get in it to help with her pain. WTF > [@](#): > > Now, I don’t know if you remember, but my wife’s water broke with a slow high leak, which means that the bag ruptured on the baby side rather than on the cervix side. So the bag was still in there and able to hold fluid. The fluid that it was holding was meconium. Which is sort of bad for several reasons, but in this case it was bad for none of the reasons that were most common. Normally when meconium is present in the water it’s diluted by the amniotic fluid and sort of a light greenish color. This sort of thing will freak the fuck out of doctors because of the baby might inhale the meconium upon delivery. The reality is that the risk of this is minimal, but it’s enough to get you sectioned right quick if it is seen at a hospital. **But our bag was dark black. The meconium was undiluted. This was bad. Very bad. I didn’t know that this was so very bad at the time though.** It seems that when there is a head down baby, meconium presentation in that way is typically a sign of infant death. Again, I didn’t know this, but Katie (being trained but not yet licensed as a midwife) did. She grabbed her doppler and started listening for the fetal hearbeat and couldn’t find it. She looked for four minutes and then asked me to call 911. This was at 4:15. Catherine still has not arrived. That was your fucking fault for taking castor oil at home without damned supervision. I feel sick right now. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/244 "2011-06-16T20:34:35Z")
> [@NAF1138](#): > > I don’t regret the transfer. The transfer was the right thing at the time in the circumstances. The #1 priority for me was a healthy baby and mother. It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t have preferred to have no complications and stayed at home, so yup, you have it right. > > But to be clear, our OB missed the birth too, and had we been in the hospital they would have thought the baby was dead too at first. They would have been using the same equipment as the doula to start with. The midwife would have had equipment on hand to get us to the hospital even faster had my wife’s labor not been so very fast (under 4 hours from start to birth), and the hospital would have c sectioned my wife at the first sign of trouble had we been there the whole time. What you did was irresponsible and dangerous. It was very fast and dangerous because of your methodology. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/245 "2011-06-16T20:36:45Z")
I’d also suspect that the U.S. schizophrenic position on abortion plays very slightly into our infant mortality rates. Its hard to even find a doctor to do a late term abortion on a fetus that is non-viable - even if you wanted to. And many couples don’t want to - they’ll see the pregnancy to term even if the baby will only live a few days or a few hours. I don’t know, but I suspect that situation is different in different parts of the world. ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/246 "2011-06-16T20:37:14Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > What you did was irresponsible and dangerous. It was very fast and dangerous because of your methodology. This was done with the approval of both our midwife and OB both of whom had been delivering babies since the 1960s. Between the two of them they had birthed hundreds of thousands of babies and had nearly 100 years of experience. Forgive me if I trust them more than you in this case. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/247 "2011-06-16T20:39:08Z")
> [@](#): > > **When everything is said and done, I would still call this a fairly successful home birth experience.** Had Catherine been there sooner she would have noticed when Charlie flipped breech, and Ivy would have gone to the hospital sooner and had a c section. Had we been delivering in a hospital like normal they would have noticed the knot or the cord in a late ultrasound and there would have been a c section. And after being held hostage by the hospital for 24 hours after delivery for no good reason, and experiencing the difference between laboring (and nearly birthing) at home and in a hospital, I think I can say that without question that we will be doing a home birth for any subsequint kids. Maybe we will even get to use the birthing tub. Here’s the [link](http://www.giraffeboards.com/showpost.php?p=230250&postcount=79). ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/248 "2011-06-16T20:40:33Z")
> [@NAF1138](#): > > This was done with the approval of both our midwife and OB both of whom had been delivering babies since the 1960s. Between the two of them they had birthed hundreds of thousands of babies and had nearly 100 years of experience. Forgive me if I trust them more than you in this case. Yeah, and they had you do this when they weren’t even around. Jesus F. Christ. Castor oil is more dangerous than Picotin. ---
**Author:** ![NAF1138](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/naf1138/32/3245_2.png) [@NAF1138](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NAF1138)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/249 "2011-06-16T20:42:59Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > That was your fucking fault for taking castor oil at home without damned supervision. > > I feel sick right now. I don’t know you, but I am going to tell you that you don’t know what you are talking about here. I don’t know if you have medical degrees, or claim to, or who you are, but what you said right there contradicts what all 5 doctors at the hospital we spoke to told us (including the head of obstetrics at Cedars Sinai hospital), as well as both our midwives who are \*extremely \*well respected even within the main stream medical community in Los Angeles. I am going to unsubscribe before I say things I will regret. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/250 "2011-06-16T20:53:14Z")
Whatever. Your midwife wasn’t even present when you decided to induce labor at home with a diuretic. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/251 "2011-06-16T21:34:33Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > Whatever. Your midwife wasn’t even present when you decided to induce labor at home with a diuretic. Your “whatevers” and “fucking absurds” and general tone of - All you who choose home birth are irresponsible, make me think you are wanting to change minds or just want to call all of us who like to have informed choices idiots. Seems to me humanity did just fine for 10,000 years before the first hospital. Additionally, as early as 1840’s male physicians who began to make house calls for delivering babies noted that the very presence of someone the birthing mother did not know or was comfortable with slowed, and even stopped the labor process more often than not. Tell me, what’s natural about giving birth in a hospital? You do know we are animals right? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/252 "2011-06-16T21:36:15Z")
Again, what does the _baby_ gain from this? Obviously you get to stick it to “the system”, but of what benefit is it to the baby to be born away from medicine, equipment, and licensed professionals who went to school for decades before they got their first real check? ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/253 "2011-06-16T21:42:38Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > Again, what does the _baby_ gain from this? Obviously you get to stick it to “the system”, but of what benefit is it to the baby to be born away from medicine, equipment, and licensed professionals who went to school for decades before they got their first real check? John, this is a tough question that has - in our case - spiritual connotations that I don’t really like to chat about on open boards, because it leaves the doors open to criticism of spiritual beliefs and that is generally never a good thing. What I will say, is that the mind\body connection between mother and child is very strong, and some believe that the chemical cocktails floating around the mother and baby’s brains at the time of birth are extremely powerful and are the foundation of an inner spiritual connection between mother and baby. Again I hesitate to talk too much about it because many simply call that kind of thing “foo-foo talk”. Yes, I’ve heard that before. And with the hostility this thread is bringing up I don’t want to open too many more cans of worms! ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/254 "2011-06-16T21:55:51Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > Your “whatevers” and “fucking absurds” and general tone of - All you who choose home birth are irresponsible, make me think you are wanting to change minds or just want to call all of us who like to have informed choices idiots. > > Seems to me humanity did just fine for 10,000 years before the first hospital. Additionally, as early as 1840’s male physicians who began to make house calls for delivering babies noted that the very presence of someone the birthing mother did not know or was comfortable with slowed, and even stopped the labor process more often than not. Tell me, what’s natural about giving birth in a hospital? You do know we are animals right? But most of what we do in regards to health isn’t natural. Going to a dentist for a cavity, getting vaccinations, tetanus shots, hand washing, having protected sex – all unnatural. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/255 "2011-06-16T22:08:00Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > But most of what we do in regards to health isn’t natural. Going to a dentist for a cavity, getting vaccinations, tetanus shots, hand washing, having protected sex – all unnatural. True, and I was being quasi-facetious - I do believe hospitals save lives. But the entire midwifery business has been around far longer than physicians and hospitals. And they did pretty good…human population is still growing by leaps and bounds. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/256 "2011-06-16T22:13:38Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > Your “whatevers” and “fucking absurds” and general tone of - All you who choose home birth are irresponsible, make me think you are wanting to change minds or just want to call all of us who like to have informed choices idiots. > > Seems to me humanity did just fine for 10,000 years before the first hospital. Additionally, as early as 1840’s male physicians who began to make house calls for delivering babies noted that the very presence of someone the birthing mother did not know or was comfortable with slowed, and even stopped the labor process more often than not. Tell me, what’s natural about giving birth in a hospital? You do know we are animals right? So you’re telling me you’re going to induce with castor oil while your midwife is nowhere near? I hope you get punished if something, god forbid, terrible happens. ---
**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/257 "2011-06-16T22:16:14Z")
Wow. I’m kind of shocked at the antipathy towards home birth. It’s not the same as abusing your baby, people. (And I would never consider a home birth myself – but I have extremely educated friends who have done so, and are big proponents.) At the same time, **Phlosphr** , I do have to speak out against your idea that a home birth promotes bonding. I mean, sure, maybe it might a little bit, but this kind of thing is what had me crying for hours because I had to give my baby formula, because I had gotten this idea that, “Oh, you MUST do breastfeeding because you BOND with the baby better!” (I then went on to breastfeed her for a year, after giving her formula for three days, and it didn’t seem to affect our bonding experience either way.) I called my sister in tears (she’s a pediatrician) at the time and accused myself of being a horrible mom for giving my baby FORMULA, oh the horror!! and said to her, “It’s not natural to give a baby formula!” She said, “Yeah… well… it’s natural to have a fairly high infant mortality rate; I don’t think nature is all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, your baby needs more food than you can produce right now, and that’s sad, but isn’t it nice that you have the option of technological advances?” ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/258 "2011-06-16T22:16:52Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > So you’re telling me you’re going to induce with castor oil while your midwife is nowhere near? > > I hope you get punished if something, god forbid, terrible happens. Are you reading my posts or just seeing my screen name and jotting off something not very witty? The midwife is going to be right there…the whole time! ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/259 "2011-06-16T22:19:57Z")
> [@raspberry\_hunter](#): > > Wow. I’m kind of shocked at the antipathy towards home birth. It’s not the same as abusing your baby, people. (And I would never consider a home birth myself – but I have extremely educated friends who have done so, and are big proponents.) > > At the same time, **Phlosphr** , I do have to speak out against your idea that a home birth promotes bonding. I mean, sure, maybe it might a little bit, but this kind of thing is what had me crying for hours because I had to give my baby formula, because I had gotten this idea that, “Oh, you MUST do breastfeeding because you BOND with the baby better!” (I then went on to breastfeed her for a year, after giving her formula for three days, and it didn’t seem to affect our bonding experience either way.) > > I called my sister in tears (she’s a pediatrician) at the time and accused myself of being a horrible mom for giving my baby FORMULA, oh the horror!! and said to her, “It’s not natural to give a baby formula!” She said, “Yeah… well… it’s natural to have a fairly high infant mortality rate; I don’t think nature is all it’s cracked up to be.” I was trying to be discreet about personal beliefs…and what I am talking about is not just home birth, thousands of mothers watch their babies being born in hospitals and birthing centers and are able to hold them right away. I have a lot of compassion for when that is not able to happen. And thank you for your first paragraph. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2011, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990/260 "2011-06-16T22:26:35Z")
> [@Phlosphr](#): > > Seems to me humanity did just fine for 10,000 years before the first hospital. Additionally, as early as 1840’s male physicians who began to make house calls for delivering babies noted that the very presence of someone the birthing mother did not know or was comfortable with slowed, and even stopped the labor process more often than not. Tell me, what’s natural about giving birth in a hospital? You do know we are animals right? Animals whose unassisted maternal death rate in childbirth is 1 in 100. Cattle breeders wouldn’t take those odds. Knowledgable assistance in childbirth is virtually required of the human animal. This is NOT an argument against midwives but the whole “we’re animals so childbirth is no big whoop!” is bullshit. Actually, there are few things more natural to the human animal than using technology and social networks to assist in childbirth. Doing that in a hospital with a doctor is no more or less natural than doing it at home with a midwife. One could argue that going to a place of seclusion, away from one’s usual sleeping place, is the far more natural and animalistic act. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/birthing-at-home-getting-over-the-fear/584990.md?page=14)