# Bisexuals and Same: What Do You Identify As? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 11, 2008, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971 "2008-03-11T15:24:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/1 "2008-03-11T15:24:34Z")
Assuming you choose to label yourself. Bisexual? Queer? Mostly-straight? Mostly-gay? Just one or the other? I ask because I vacillate between the first three and wonder if anyone else has the same issue. ---
**Author:** ![A\_Priori\_Tea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3bc359/32.png) [@A\_Priori\_Tea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Priori_Tea)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/2 "2008-03-11T15:34:58Z")
If I get asked for a label, I stick with queer - mostly because it describes me well generally, and gives a fairly accurate impression of my sexuality. That, and I like using an ambiguous word, because I’m an ambiguous person. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/3 "2008-03-11T15:41:37Z")
I generally claim I’m “80% straight” or “80% hetero”. The number wasn’t rigorously researched or anything, but it feels about right. I’ve been attracted to and slept with far more men than women, and I live a fairly boring straight “lifestyle” as wife (to a man) and mother (to children with one male and one female parent), but I’d feel I was dishonoring the few women who I’ve been intimate with if I claimed to be straight with no wiggle room. ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/4 "2008-03-11T15:46:56Z")
I don’t think of myself in those categories or labels, as a rule. Someone here got annoyed with me over that once. These days, I’d consider using “queer”, but there’s a lot of old baggage with that word for me. I like the concept, though. And the word fits in more ways than one. If I were going to make a habit of using a label, I’d probably try that first. Otherwise, I’d probably say bi, if pushed to pick one. My spot on the Kinsey-scale is highly variable, so a “mostly” one or the other would only be true sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![gfloyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d2c977/32.png) [@gfloyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gfloyd)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/5 "2008-03-11T16:02:08Z")
I generally don’t use a label. I’m me, I’m attracted to whom I’m attracted to. Bisexual works fine, if I feel the need for one. I don’t talk about my sexuality much, not out of shame or self loathing, I just assume people don’t care, as I don’t really care about their sex lives. I was never really accepted by the GSA when in college because I was bisexual. I was lying to myself and I should just accept that I’m a lesbian or I’m just faking it for attention. That’s probably where my dislike of labels comes from. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/6 "2008-03-11T16:33:59Z")
Either bisexual, or just sexual. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/7 "2008-03-11T16:36:02Z")
Bisexual, or for idiots who don’t get it, that girl who really truly doesn’t want to do you or your hag of a wife. I sometimes refer to myself as queer, though apparently that’s a horrible thing. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/8 "2008-03-11T16:54:03Z")
“Not heterosexual.” It’s the most concise way to define it, and I personally can’t get myself past the irony of specifically labeling myself with the ways I don’t fit other labels (androgynous, pansexual[ish]). ---
**Author:** ![freekalette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/50afbb/32.png) [@freekalette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freekalette)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/9 "2008-03-11T17:21:22Z")
You’d never guess it from my username, but my label of choice is “freak.” Unless I’m talking to some really close-minded people. Then it’s “scary.” ---
**Author:** ![Jayn\_Newell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Jayn\_Newell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jayn_Newell)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/10 "2008-03-11T17:28:28Z")
Seeing as i’m now permanently off the open market, ‘straight’ works for me. I did consider myself bi (tending straight) before I was married, but in all honesty I’ve never dated a girl. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/11 "2008-03-11T18:18:49Z")
“Mostly straight” works for me. I’ve called myself bi, but not’s not quite right. I am not attracted to women for relationships. I can’t see myself dating a woman. But I have been intimate with women and enjoyed the sexual experience very much. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m only interested in women for sex. I don’t like the way that sounds, but it’s true. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/12 "2008-03-11T18:21:27Z")
[QUOTE=Hockey Monkey] “Mostly straight” works for me. I’ve called myself bi, but not’s not quite right. I am not attracted to women for relationships. I can’t see myself dating a woman. But I have been intimate with women and enjoyed the sexual experience very much. I’m ashamed to admit that I’m only interested in women for sex. I don’t like the way that sounds, but it’s true. [/QUOTE] Many of the the bi guys I know express a similar sentiment, but in regards to men. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/13 "2008-03-11T18:59:02Z")
Theoretically bi. ---
**Author:** ![JustThinkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f0a364/32.png) [@JustThinkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustThinkin)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/14 "2008-03-11T19:19:38Z")
\ Would it make a difference if you settled down permanently with someone of the same gender? Would you use a different label then? Just curious (no judgements attached). ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/15 "2008-03-11T19:54:49Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] Many of the the bi guys I know express a similar sentiment, but in regards to men. [/QUOTE] Including the OP. If the right guy came along, I’d consider it but I tend to prefer the company of women in almost all circumstances. And to answer your question, **JustThinkin’** , I doubt I’d label myself differently were I in a long term relationship with a man. If anything, I’d probably enjoy screwing with people by stating I’m mostly straight while holding hands with or having my arms around the waist of a man ---
**Author:** ![rikc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c57346/32.png) [@rikc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rikc)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/16 "2008-03-11T21:00:05Z")
I’m bi. When I’m asked “are you gay?” I respond with “I’m gay _enough_.” ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/17 "2008-03-11T21:01:09Z")
Peoplesexual. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/18 "2008-03-11T21:03:26Z")
I could probably beget an heir if I absolutely had to in the way that most straight men could probably get it up for a guy if they absolutely had to (I’d link to cites but they require passwords and credit cards and then aren’t work safe), but overall I’d go with total Mo. ---
**Author:** ![rikc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c57346/32.png) [@rikc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rikc)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/19 "2008-03-11T21:06:35Z")
[QUOTE=JustThinkin’] \ Would it make a difference if you settled down permanently with someone of the same gender? Would you use a different label then? Just curious (no judgements attached). [/QUOTE] I’ve “kept” the same label while dating both guys and gals, personally. I tend to be less willing to “correct” people, though. I don’t practice open relationships, so if I’m dating someone I guess I am, for all intents and purposes, either gay or straight for that time being (not saying that my orientation shifts, but I think you understand what I mean). It’s the relationship’s label that is more strict. I was dating a bisexual guy once, and a girl we knew was trying to insist that it was a “bisexual relationship” and not a gay relationship. It was sort of confusing…where was the girl, again? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2008, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971/20 "2008-03-11T21:36:54Z")
I’m another 80/20 bisexual. The problem is figuring out how that 80/20 split works. If it comes to pure physical attraction, I’m 80% straight. If it comes to emotional attraction, I’m 80% gay. It’s pretty rare that a passing hot guy will turn my head, but it’s equally rare that I ever meet a girl I’m interested in being more than just friends with. In other words, I tend to lust after women, and crush on men. I guess “queer” is the most apt label, on a couple of levels. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bisexuals-and-same-what-do-you-identify-as/440971.md?page=2)