# Bishop negotiates child sex settlement, and then . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 1, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257 "2009-10-01T18:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/101 "2012-05-21T01:33:38Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > Because, as far as I understand, priests aren’t infallible, and it’s possible to believe one has absolution even when a priest tells you you do not. Priests are not infallible. But no, I don’t agree that it’s possible for someone to believe they have absolution if it’s withheld, unless it’s some sort of psychosis that allows a complete divorce from reality. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/102 "2012-05-21T01:43:44Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Priests are not infallible. > > But no, I don’t agree that it’s possible for someone to believe they have absolution if it’s withheld, unless it’s some sort of psychosis that allows a complete divorce from reality. To me, a psychosis is demonstrated by the belief that a priest has the power to absolve you of your sins. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/103 "2012-05-21T03:09:05Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > To me, a psychosis is demonstrated by the belief that a priest has the power to absolve you of your sins. That’s interesting. I prefer the DSM-IV criteria. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/104 "2012-05-21T14:14:11Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Now that’s just unfair. > > How’s he supposed to get the second hand nailed in? Maybe…if you made the second hand-nail much longer than the crossbeam is thick, put it through first, _and_ backwards (i.e. sticking up, like a road spike), he could nail himself normally for most of the limbs, then just kind of slam/twist his remaining arm down on the last spike? You’d probably be best to put some kind of barbed spike on the end of the nail to keep it from slipping/being pulled back off, which would eliminate the need for an assistant to bend it over or hammer a block on afterwards. Now, the hardest part remaining is simply to arrange a system where he could raise the cross off the ground into a vertical post hole by himself. This could probably be done with a scaffold and a complicated block and tackle system, assuming he could pull the cable with his teeth for awhile. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/105 "2012-05-21T14:22:56Z")
This could be one of the great God conundrums – like could he create a rock so big he couldn’t lift it. Could God create a cross that he can nail himself to? ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/106 "2012-05-21T14:54:46Z")
Wow…horrible story…horrible man. The amazing thing-many of these perverts were allowed to wreak havoc for decades-ex priest James Porter admitted to abusing over 100 children, in a period of 20 years. The guy was a one man crime wave, and nobody thought-gee, maybe this guy shouldn’t be around children? I remember when Porter was finally arrested-he was totally dismissive…like he was thinking, “yeah, I raped a lot of kids…but that was so long ago…what’s the big deal?” ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/107 "2012-05-21T15:01:33Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > > [@Miller](#): > > > > Now that’s just unfair. > > > > How’s he supposed to get the second hand nailed in? > > Maybe…if you made the second hand-nail much longer than the crossbeam is thick, put it through first, _and_ backwards (i.e. sticking up, like a road spike), he could nail himself normally for most of the limbs, then just kind of slam/twist his remaining arm down on the last spike? > > You’d probably be best to put some kind of barbed spike on the end of the nail to keep it from slipping/being pulled back off, which would eliminate the need for an assistant to bend it over or hammer a block on afterwards. > > Now, the hardest part remaining is simply to arrange a system where he could raise the cross off the ground into a vertical post hole by himself. This could probably be done with a scaffold and a complicated block and tackle system, assuming he could pull the cable with his teeth for awhile. A [South Korean guy managed it last year](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1388715/South-Korean-man-crucified-abandoned-stone-quarry-committed-suicide.html). The trick apparently is to pre-drill holes in your hands so you don’t need to use a hammer for the nails. My [old thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=609182) on the incident. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/108 "2012-05-21T16:48:00Z")
> [@Ranchoth](#): > > Maybe…if you made the second hand-nail much longer than the crossbeam is thick, put it through first, _and_ backwards (i.e. sticking up, like a road spike), he could nail himself normally for most of the limbs, then just kind of slam/twist his remaining arm down on the last spike? > > You’d probably be best to put some kind of barbed spike on the end of the nail to keep it from slipping/being pulled back off, which would eliminate the need for an assistant to bend it over or hammer a block on afterwards. > > Now, the hardest part remaining is simply to arrange a system where he could raise the cross off the ground into a vertical post hole by himself. This could probably be done with a scaffold and a complicated block and tackle system, assuming he could pull the cable with his teeth for awhile. [It’s amazing how often this story comes in handy, even six years later.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=7128461&postcount=21) Truly, **Terrifel** is the gift that keeps on giving. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/109 "2012-05-21T17:06:10Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Non sequitur. With a dash of two wrongs fallacy thrown in for good measure I’d say. > [@Alessan](#): > > I’m curious - does the Catholic Church have its own version of Internal Affairs or Military Police? Sure, but nobody expects it. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/110 "2012-05-22T06:51:29Z")
Just had a thought… Is it possible that, as part of the original settlement, the bishop got to, um, keep the porn? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dngnb8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@dngnb8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dngnb8)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/111 "2012-05-22T16:54:01Z")
If I was to put on my tin foil hat When I volunteered as a coach for the Boys and Girls Club years ago, we had a meeting on information being distributed by an organization called NAMBLA Apparently, the material was information on how to get into organizations that put men in positions of confidence where boys were Boys and Girls club was three on the list. Boy scouts two, and number one was Priests. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/112 "2012-05-23T01:38:02Z")
> [@dngnb8](#): > > If I was to put on my tin foil hat Not quickly enough, apparently. > [@dngnb8](#): > > When I volunteered as a coach for the Boys and Girls Club years ago, we had a meeting on information being distributed by an organization called NAMBLA > > Apparently, the material was information on how to get into organizations that put men in positions of confidence where boys were > > Boys and Girls club was three on the list. Boy scouts two, and number one was Priests. Unless you actually saw this alleged “material” and verified its provenance I’d take that supposition with a grain of salt. AFAICT, no sinister conspiracy on the part of a pro-pedophilia organization is required to explain the incidence of child abusers within the Catholic Church, which is about equally prevalent there as anywhere else. And the sinister conspiracy that **did** exist—namely, the one on the part of the Church hierarchy to shield their erring members at the expense of their congregations’ safety—is perfectly explicable as a (sadly) non-unique example of in-group secret politics gone toxic. No hypothesis of infiltration by NAMBLA is required in order to account for the scandalous molesting-priest coverup. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/113 "2012-05-23T03:58:10Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > \*\*Bishop negotiates child sex settlement, and then . . . > \*\* “. . . wait, all that money, all that time, all that paperwork, and I don’t get to **keep** him?! :eek:” ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257/114 "2012-05-23T04:42:27Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > Priests are not infallible. > > But no, I don’t agree that it’s possible for someone to believe they have absolution if it’s withheld, unless it’s some sort of psychosis that allows a complete divorce from reality. I think you are largely unaware of the way people rationalize things to themselves. It doesn’t take a complete divorce from reality to find the smallest crack and cling to it. I do not think it takes any mass delusion to put together the fact that only God can actually absolve sins and the fact that priests are not infallible to get to the idea that the priest was mistaken when he told you you did not have absolution. It’s definitely no more crazy than those people who discount Vatican II and believe the current pope is not the real pope, despite the Catholic belief that God himself selects the pope. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bishop-negotiates-child-sex-settlement-and-then/512257.md?page=5)