# Bitch about your shitty Christmas gifts. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 26, 2014, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221 "2014-12-26T16:59:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2014, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/21 "2014-12-26T23:47:46Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I received a handmade sweater that looks like it was made by either a child or a disabled person. The relative who knitted the sweater is in fact a 30-something adult who has been knitting for nearly a decade. I’m not sure if she’s so lacking in talent that this is sincerely the best she could do or if she simply didn’t try very hard. I’m inclined to believe the latter, as I saw the sweater she made for another member of the family and it looks much better than the one she made for me. > > I’m not a knitter myself so I don’t know the right terminology to describe this sweater, but it’s done in such a large, loose stitch that it’s effectively see-through. There are tails of yarn several inches long sticking out all over it. The hem, sleeves, and neck are finished off in a strange manner that I’ve never seen before, and clumsily at that, with big gaps and loops hanging down. There are also large gaps where the front and back are joined, and where the sleeves are joined to the body. This is made more obvious by the use of a completely different color of yarn for only the upper front part of the sweater. I assume this was an attempt at following the colorblock trend, but it looks like she just ran out of yarn and switched to something else. > > I really don’t know what to do with this thing. I will never wear it, and it’s so ineptly made that I feel like it would be insulting to even give it to charity. I guess I could unravel it and give the yarn to someone else – it looks like it’s on the verge of unraveling itself already. Does this person hate you? You have a few options: keep the sweater in case you need it for an ugly sweater contest, which you would be sure to win; or if the yarn is nice, give it to the thrift store and someone will buy it and re-use the yarn. If the yarn is cheap and scratchy or an ugly color throw it away. Don’t worry about hurting your relative’s feelings when you never wear the sweater, because they didn’t worry about how you would feel when they gave you a hideous sweater. I would love to see a photo of the World’s Ugliest Sweater. Please? ---
**Author:** ![BrassyPhrase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea666f/32.png) [@BrassyPhrase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrassyPhrase)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2014, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/22 "2014-12-26T23:53:42Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > I would love to see a photo of the World’s Ugliest Sweater. Please? I second this! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/23 "2014-12-27T00:01:05Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > I would love to see a photo of the World’s Ugliest Sweater. Please? But, I thought “ugly sweaters” were the IN thing this year… ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/24 "2014-12-27T00:11:17Z")
> [@Donald\_Rump](#): > > [M]y sister in law gave my mother in law […] a 10 by 7 picture of just the fiancé. Why? Where in the house do you hang a \*\*gigantic \*\*picture of your future son in law? 10 \*feet \*by 7 _feet_? Please tell me it was 10 feet by 7 feet. I got a 3 gallon bottle of cooking oil. Meant as a joke, and from someone who has every reason to ignore Christmas this year, so no hard feelings whatsoever. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/25 "2014-12-27T00:40:03Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > This is totally worth it just for the story. I bet you’ve gotten more pleasure out of this story than you ever would have out of an appropriate gift of the same value. Have you met me? How do you know what goes on in my head? ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/26 "2014-12-27T01:23:16Z")
My husband and I got [a jug of ice melt](http://www.menards.com/main/p-2431819-c-12409.htm) from his family. It was unwrapped, but with our names written on it in Sharpie marker. My daughter and I unpacked the box, and when we came to this, we just stared at it in baffled silence. It’s not that we won’t use it. We do live in Minnesota, after all. However, the jug is kind of heavy, and I’m just astonished that someone would pay to ship this and call this a Christmas present. Snapped a photo of the jug on my phone and have gotten a lot of mileage out of baffling friends and coworkers with it, so there is that. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/27 "2014-12-27T01:37:31Z")
> [@Donald\_Rump](#): > > I wasn’t the recipient, but my sister in law gave my mother in law a 10 by 7 picture of herself with her fiancé; a 10 by 7 picture of herself; and a 10 by 7 picture of just the fiancé. Why? Where in the house do you hang a gigantic picture of your future son in law? That’s easy. Behind the refrigerator. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/28 "2014-12-27T01:45:06Z")
> [@Donald\_Rump](#): > > Where in the house do you hang a gigantic picture of your future son in law? bathroom ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/29 "2014-12-27T01:49:43Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > My sister gave me a sweater. It’s sort of like a blanket with sleeves. It swallows me up and since it is in an animal print, I’m afraid to wear it. Some of these hunters out here are going to mistake me for a damn mountain lion. Plus it’s just really ugly. see if you can scare small animals with it. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/30 "2014-12-27T01:52:20Z")
> [@Tamex](#): > > My husband and I got [a jug of ice melt](http://www.menards.com/main/p-2431819-c-12409.htm) from his family. It was unwrapped, but with our names written on it in Sharpie marker. My daughter and I unpacked the box, and when we came to this, we just stared at it in baffled silence. > > It’s not that we won’t use it. We do live in Minnesota, after all. However, the jug is kind of heavy, and I’m just astonished that someone would pay to ship this and call this a Christmas present. > > Snapped a photo of the jug on my phone and have gotten a lot of mileage out of baffling friends and coworkers with it, so there is that. caution they are coming for a visit this winter. they don’t want to fall on their asses. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/31 "2014-12-27T02:15:10Z")
> [@Tamex](#): > > My husband and I got [a jug of ice melt](http://www.menards.com/main/p-2431819-c-12409.htm) from his family. It was unwrapped, but with our names written on it in Sharpie marker. My daughter and I unpacked the box, and when we came to this, we just stared at it in baffled silence. That’s pretty awesome. Not having lived in a snow-bound land as an adult, before I clicked on the link I was thinking it might be some trendy, new-agey bullshit thing. You know like a jug of pure water naturally melted by the sun from some pristine glacier in Antarctica, and guaranteed to perfectly flush impurities from your aura. That would have been pretty WTF. But what you actually got is simultaneously far more practical and far more WTF as a gift :D. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/32 "2014-12-27T02:19:17Z")
My husband gave me a box of chocolates and they were mostly dark chocolate covered peanut clusters. I don’t like dark chocolate OR peanuts. However, I have resolved to say nothing. Sorry, that’s the worst I can come up with. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/33 "2014-12-27T02:21:22Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > That’s easy. Behind the refrigerator. Or under the mantle. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/34 "2014-12-27T02:50:07Z")
While “shitty” might be too strong a word, Slaughterhouse-Five is a _bad_ Christmas present for someone who has not asked for it. “Life sucks and then you die” is not good holiday reading. A year on and I still haven’t finished it. ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/35 "2014-12-27T03:09:12Z")
As an adult, I don’t really get or expect much in the way of Christmas presents. My mother and my legal wife both gave me shirts. I would actually wear what the wife gave me. As usual, my FIL gave the majority of presents- mostly money or equivalents, and that is appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/36 "2014-12-27T04:02:23Z")
Years ago National Lampoon magazine ran a cartoon series called “The Appletons” by B.K. Taylor, a parody of the typical American family, where the dad “Norm” was a total psycho. One year for Christmas he gave his children… meat. Steaks, chops, ribs, roasts, burgers, sausage- hundreds of pounds of Grade-A meat worth thousands of dollars. A gift you couldn’t call useless or cheap, but… :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/37 "2014-12-27T04:08:37Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > Years ago National Lampoon magazine ran a cartoon series called “The Appletons” by B.K. Taylor, a parody of the typical American family, where the dad “Norm” was a total psycho. One year for Christmas he gave his children… meat. Steaks, chops, ribs, roasts, burgers, sausage- hundreds of pounds of Grade-A meat worth thousands of dollars. A gift you couldn’t call useless or cheap, but… tasty. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/38 "2014-12-27T04:14:50Z")
Somebody gave me a sweater. Now anything warm is usually okay by me, but… (1) it’s100% acrylic, a “fabric” I do not wear (2) it’s white(ish), offset a little by the fact that it’s washable (3) it has a zipper (4) it has no pockets This is four strikes. It’s getting returned for something I might actually wear, probably something really mundane. I did put it on, hiding the tags, for one picture. It’s also a little too large for me. So, not really shitty, just not suitable. Possibly (probably?) given to me because I often wear dark things with lots of white dog hair on them, so also not unthoughtful. Just not quite right. The person knows me pretty well and hence enclosed a gift return receipt. But I won’t tell her I returned it. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/39 "2014-12-27T04:18:40Z")
_Somebody_ gave my kid a _god-awful_ paint-by-number wall plaque. Featuring the artwork of Norman Rockwell. So obviously old and crusty, it looks like it was pulled from a hoarder’s dumpster. So old, I couldn’t even find one like it on ebay. Closest estimate is the late 70’s. I’m guessing the paint is dried up into little rocks. _That’s_ what kids these days want. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2014, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/40 "2014-12-27T04:21:14Z")
> [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](#): > > My sister gave me a sweater. It’s sort of like a blanket with sleeves. It swallows me up and since it is in an animal print, I’m afraid to wear it. Some of these hunters out here are going to mistake me for a damn mountain lion. Plus it’s just really ugly. > > But I love her anyway. Does it have pockets? Is it made out of something other than polyester or acrylic? Do you want to swap for a nice white one? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221.md?page=3)