# Bitch about your shitty Christmas gifts. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 26, 2014, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221 "2014-12-26T16:59:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2015, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/161 "2015-01-08T19:51:12Z")
Certainly not Scratchy. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/162 "2015-01-09T01:28:49Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Ohhh. I was thinking more, ugh, itchy socks! Who wants itchy socks!? Wool socks aren’t itchy. At least the ones I have aren’t (Smartwool or the REI knockoffs, made out of merino wool). They are just wonderfully warm and comfortable. I’m wearing some right now. If being vegan means giving up wool socks, forget it. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/163 "2015-01-09T02:03:19Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > I believe it was more the “animal product for a vegan household” thing. Though to be fair, even after decades of intimate exposure to vegans, an objection to wool wouldn’t have crossed my mind. It’s not like the sheep are killed for it, and the shearing does make them feel better, so I probably would have made the same mistake. Yeah, don’t sheep have to be sheared, or they get all matted? (In that it’s kind of like dog grooming) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/164 "2015-01-09T04:04:29Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I received a handmade sweater that looks like it was made by either a child or a disabled person. The relative who knitted the sweater is in fact a 30-something adult who has been knitting for nearly a decade. I’m not sure if she’s so lacking in talent that this is sincerely the best she could do or if she simply didn’t try very hard. I’m inclined to believe the latter, as I saw the sweater she made for another member of the family and it looks much better than the one she made for me. > > I’m not a knitter myself so I don’t know the right terminology to describe this sweater, but it’s done in such a large, loose stitch that it’s effectively see-through. There are tails of yarn several inches long sticking out all over it. The hem, sleeves, and neck are finished off in a strange manner that I’ve never seen before, and clumsily at that, with big gaps and loops hanging down. There are also large gaps where the front and back are joined, and where the sleeves are joined to the body. This is made more obvious by the use of a completely different color of yarn for only the upper front part of the sweater. I assume this was an attempt at following the colorblock trend, but it looks like she just ran out of yarn and switched to something else. > > I really don’t know what to do with this thing. I will never wear it, and it’s so ineptly made that I feel like it would be insulting to even give it to charity. I guess I could unravel it and give the yarn to someone else – it looks like it’s on the verge of unraveling itself already. This has been bugging me all day from when I first read it. I think I have the solution. Look for a local professional knitter. Take this sweater to her (or him) and ask her to find the exact same kind and color of yarns, and then make you a perfectly fitting sweater like it was supposed to be. Then pass it off at the next family gathering as what was given to you as a gift. Obviously that will cost you some, but the confusion it will generate will be worth it. When she gets through the confusion and finally takes credit for it, go to the bathroom and change into the original. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/165 "2015-01-09T10:58:20Z")
I want to see that sweater So Much. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/166 "2015-01-09T11:41:29Z")
\*\*Second Stone’\*\*s idea seems brilliant to me. And caught me entirely off guard, switching back into ugly sweater, at the end. Love it so much ! I, too, really want to see the sweater! ---
**Author:** ![Malden\_Capell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malden_capell/32/5274_2.png) [@Malden\_Capell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malden_Capell)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 11:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/167 "2015-01-09T11:48:06Z")
Rather disappointed this year. A calendar, some crappy shirts, my stepmum got me Calvin Klein bulge briefs (awkward!), and father in law got me…a bag of saffron rice. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/168 "2015-01-09T15:36:14Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Yeah, don’t sheep have to be sheared, or they get all matted? (In that it’s kind of like dog grooming) Domestics, yes. Wild sheep, no. For a good example of what happens when you don’t shear a domestic, look up photos of Shrek the Sheep. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/169 "2015-01-09T15:59:01Z")
I hereby nominate **Second Stone** for today’s Winner Of The Internet award. (I could picture the whole thing as a YouTube video, complete with showing the original gift at the beginning of the vid all the way to the switcheroo at the end.) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/170 "2015-01-09T22:56:12Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > \*\*Second Stone’\*\*s idea seems brilliant to me. And caught me entirely off guard, switching back into ugly sweater, at the end. Love it so much ! > > I, too, really want to see the sweater! My acquaintances have all learned that if they screw with me they will deeply regret it. Obviously, I have no friends. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2015, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/171 "2015-01-09T23:39:11Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > This has been bugging me all day from when I first read it. I think I have the solution. > > Look for a local professional knitter. Take this sweater to her (or him) and ask her to find the exact same kind and color of yarns, and then make you a perfectly fitting sweater like it was supposed to be. Then pass it off at the next family gathering as what was given to you as a gift. Obviously that will cost you some, but the confusion it will generate will be worth it. When she gets through the confusion and finally takes credit for it, go to the bathroom and change into the original. The eerily brilliant part about this plan is that one of my coworkers is not only a great knitter but is a semi-professional knitting designer on the side. (I’m not sure if that’s the right term, but she designs and sells knitting patterns, including ones for fancy sweaters.) So I know just the right person to create a _good_ handmade sweater for me, although I have no idea when I’ll next see the relative responsible for the original sweater. We actually haven’t seen each other in years; she mailed me the sweater. For those who’ve been asking to see a photo of the sweater, sorry to disappoint you but I don’t think I’ll be posting any. I’d have to model it to show it off to full effect, and I don’t want photos of me on the Internet in this thing. I’m also afraid that it wouldn’t live up (down?) to your expectations, and I don’t want to hear “Oh, but it’s not that bad!” ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/172 "2015-01-10T00:06:04Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Best find a sheep to go put that wool back on it. > [@Tamex](#): > > If being vegan means giving up wool socks, forget it. Having other people make demeaning slights about my ethics when I tell them about it just makes the gift all the more special. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalent13](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Ambivalent13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalent13)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/173 "2015-01-10T00:08:47Z")
I got an electric toothbrush. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/174 "2015-01-10T01:39:25Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > The eerily brilliant part about this plan is that one of my coworkers is not only a great knitter but is a semi-professional knitting designer on the side. (I’m not sure if that’s the right term, but she designs and sells knitting patterns, including ones for fancy sweaters.) So I know just the right person to create a _good_ handmade sweater for me, although I have no idea when I’ll next see the relative responsible for the original sweater. We actually haven’t seen each other in years; she mailed me the sweater. > > For those who’ve been asking to see a photo of the sweater, sorry to disappoint you but I don’t think I’ll be posting any. I’d have to model it to show it off to full effect, and I don’t want photos of me on the Internet in this thing. I’m also afraid that it wouldn’t live up (down?) to your expectations, and I don’t want to hear “Oh, but it’s not that bad!” I shall go to my grave wondering about that thing. " My one regret… is that I never… saw Lamia’s sweater…". My family will go to theirs wondering why those were my last words. “Who’s Lamia?”. ---
**Author:** ![Kropotkin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kropotkin/32/18045_2.png) [@Kropotkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kropotkin)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/175 "2015-01-10T01:44:02Z")
After several years of no gift exchanges, my mother, age 83 and not too mobile, declared she was going to get people presents because she was feeling pretty good and was looking forward to shopping. She did the elderly equivalent of planning the D-Day landing: bundled up, buffed up her best cane, called the oldsters’ taxi service, and headed downtown. She did great! Fabulous cassoulet pot for Ms. Kropotkin, great necktie for me. (I wear them.) We asked her how she picked out such an appropriate tie–in style, right width, etc.–and she said she studied all the TV newscasters to get a sense of what was “in.” Mom still rocks it. On the other hand, we also got the flu. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/176 "2015-01-10T04:43:21Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > The eerily brilliant part about this plan is that one of my coworkers is not only a great knitter but is a semi-professional knitting designer on the side. (I’m not sure if that’s the right term, but she designs and sells knitting patterns, including ones for fancy sweaters.) So I know just the right person to create a _good_ handmade sweater for me, although I have no idea when I’ll next see the relative responsible for the original sweater. We actually haven’t seen each other in years; she mailed me the sweater. > > For those who’ve been asking to see a photo of the sweater, sorry to disappoint you but I don’t think I’ll be posting any. I’d have to model it to show it off to full effect, and I don’t want photos of me on the Internet in this thing. I’m also afraid that it wouldn’t live up (down?) to your expectations, and I don’t want to hear “Oh, but it’s not that bad!” Keep it for an ugly sweater party? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/177 "2015-01-10T05:17:44Z")
“Lamia’s sweater.” “Bosco” Great final words. So we have here a mailed gift from a relative that is rarely actually met with. The practical side of me says, she gave you a crappy gift because she doesn’t care about you, not because she wanted to insult you in front of others. A gift exchange would have indicted a deliberate insult and humiliation. I’m going to have to come up with a better plan. I can’t really see going out of one’s way to screw with this lonely biddy by long distance. Or a better victim for the plan. I say next Christmas send the sweater to her favorite relative as though it were from her, forged card and wrapping job sent from her city and all! Then when you are accused, show up in the perfect forged sweater and say that biddy sent that to you as a gift. That would just piss everyone off. Great plot for a sit-com episode though. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/178 "2015-01-10T05:43:29Z")
> [@bobkitty](#): > > I believe it was more the “animal product for a vegan household” thing. Though to be fair, even after decades of intimate exposure to vegans, an objection to wool wouldn’t have crossed my mind. It’s not like the sheep are killed for it, and the shearing does make them feel better, so I probably would have made the same mistake. Actually, I believe the same thing you believe. However, for the reasons you bring up, I have a difficult time taking it seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/179 "2015-01-10T06:27:09Z")
> [@Eliahna](#): > > My mum was true to form, giving me clothing in random sizes. One pair of size 10 pjs and a pair of size 14 underpants. She never keeps receipts and usually claims she can’t remember where she bought them so they’ll probably end up where they always do: the charity shop. > > And yet a few years ago when I asked her to make a donation to charity for my birthday, she cracked it because she wanted to give something to _me_. 🙂 Epilogue: Mum told me today she originally bought the pjs for me in size 20, realised at home that they’d be too big, kept them for herself and bought me size 10 instead. Still doesn’t explain the size 14 underpants, but I tactfully left that alone. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2015, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221/180 "2015-01-10T07:51:43Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Was a mostly good year. > > My mother finally stopped giving me black licorice which I told her for years and years that I don’t like and ended up throwing away because I couldn’t GIVE it away. You should’ve sent it to my mom – she LOVES black licorice. My family is pretty good at giving gifts. Probably the only bad one was my mother giving e a bag of pistachios, which I don’t like. So I gave them to my sister, and my mother got me some cashews instead. MY main issue though is that my mother keeps insisting on getting me more than I want. “What do you want for Christmas?” Oh, just this and this. “Well, you have to want more than THAT!” No, really, that’s all I want. She still wants to make this big production of gifts on Christmas, like when we were kids. I mean, it’s nice, but it can get annoying when I tell her, no, I don’t need a new purse, no, I don’t need socks, a new robe, blah blah blah. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitch-about-your-shitty-christmas-gifts/708221.md?page=10)