# Bitchface, do not block my driveway **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331 "2005-05-24T21:06:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/41 "2005-05-25T17:37:29Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > While I’m tickled by your story, Survey Guy was clearly in the wrong. How did he get away with it? Jury nullification? ---
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/42 "2005-05-25T17:51:27Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I’m with you on this one. > > And just when did this driving kids to school thing start? > I always thought you walked or rode your bike if you lived close enough or took the bus if you lived too far away. Has this changed? Have school budgets cut back on bus service? Or are the brats too good for the bus or too lazy to walk? In my town, and I think in most places, the bus will not pick up kids who live a mile or less from the school. I think a mile is too far for a six or seven year old kid to walk by himself; it’d be different if Mom or Dad could walk with him, but most parents need to get the kids dropped off and get to work in the morning. My daughter’s school has a nifty circle drive, with a covered shelter in the middle of the lot so the chilluns can watch for their rides without being rained on, and a teacher to direct traffic. Works like a charm, except for those moronic parents who leave their cars parked in the line and go wandering up to find their little darlings (as opposed to WAITING THEIR TURN at the shelter), thus causing a traffic jam. There’s parking spaces along both sides of this driveway, assmunch; use them! ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/43 "2005-05-25T18:08:02Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > While I agree the woman was an asshat, I think **Obsidian** has an issue with the school for not providing adequate parking/drop-off/pick-up areas for the children. All of my kids’ schools had large ovals on the property, not the street, for dropping off and picking up children. > > Maybe you and your neighbors could file a complaint with the school principal or the school board? Since Obsidian’s location is San Francisco, I’m assuming this is an urban situation where there would be no room for such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/44 "2005-05-25T18:16:36Z")
1. Even when I was a kid, back in the Dark Ages, my mom or one of my aunts usually drove us to school in the morning (a mile or more). But we walked home in the afternoon. 2. At my daughter’s school the parents generally drop their kids off and drive away. In fact, **Pepper Mill** frequently volunteers as a “door mom” to open doors and see that the kids get safely to the school. 3. Our own daughter usually walks to school, unless the weather’s really bad. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/45 "2005-05-25T18:24:24Z")
Just want to say that you guys are all awesome :). I especially loved **TVeblen** ’s solution to the problem. I don’t have any problems with people pulling jackass parking maneuvers where I live, although these stories make me wish I had a chance to! Small-town Kansas, everyone is relatively polite. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/46 "2005-05-25T18:28:52Z")
> [@raz](#): > > Small-town Kansas, everyone is relatively polite. In a Fred Phelps sort of way. Sorry, couldn’t resist. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/47 "2005-05-25T18:34:48Z")
> [@jlzania](#): > > The driver drove right up to my bumper and began gesturing wildly that I should back up. > Instead, I locked my doors, turned on my dome light, lit a cigarette and began reading the newspaper. > I refused to acknowledge his horn or his flashing headlights - I deliberately never looked up from my paper. > Took about 5 minutes but he eventually did back up-still honking and swearing. Heh heh heh. I had a similar occurrence. I turned onto a one way, one lane street just as another car full of college boys came screaming in going the wrong way. We stopped about 20 feet off each others’ bumpers. Since had been going a reasonable speed I was barely a car length onto the street, so even though they were in the wrong I began to back out to let them by. The boys then began yelling and making rude gestures at me in the theme of “Who’s your daddy” and “Yeah, bitch backin’ down” and what not. I hadn’t expected a “thank you” or anything, but I found this a bit rude. So I threw it back into drive and pulled right up to their bumper. After a good minute and a half of them gesturing and yelling at me they screamed back out of the little street and back up the street the came from, in reverse. I’m just glad there weren’t any pedestrians behind them. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/48 "2005-05-25T18:40:52Z")
At our school the area right in front is reserved for buses. There are plenty of soccer moms, but I’ve never seen anybody parked to block anyone’s drive. We’re in a quiet area, though, so there’s plenty of room and most people don’t seem to mind walking a block or two. The only rudeness I’ve witnessed was the homeowner who set his sprinklers to water the sidewalk starting at precisely the time most children would be dropped off. That had to be deliberate, because everyone else in the world waters at about 6 a.m. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/49 "2005-05-25T18:45:27Z")
> [@Troy McClure SF](#): > > No, no, no… I’m with ya. But you know how most driveways have the curb cut, and then a foot of red curb, maybe with a line extending across the parking space? If people park into the red a bit, as long as I can get out, I’m cool with that. If every strip of red curb were enforced to the inch, we’d all be parking in Daly City. But yeah, if I can’t get my car out without a protractor, fuck 'em. > > I say lenient because I’ve seen Pit threads here where the OP was bitching that someone had the gall to \park in front of their house\. I wanted to drag that poster to Noe Valley and leave 'em there. Ah, gotcha. You gotta park perpendicular to the curb on my street. 2 cars legally on either side of the driveway = I can get out (barely). Either of them partially blocks the driveway = I’m screwed. ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/50 "2005-05-25T19:02:18Z")
> [@This Year's Model](#): > > This touches on what confuses me about this whole “kids to school” thing. Why can’t the parents just drive up to the school, kick the kids out the door, and keep going? In my case, the elementary school that the littlest \*\*Spiffette \*\* goes to has a before- and after-school day care located in the school building. Parents dropping their kids off to the before-school program in the morning have to sign their kids in, and parents picking their kids up from the after-school program have to sign their kids out. Maybe there was a similar sign in/out requirement for the parking-impaired psycho bitch in the OP. ---
**Author:** ![elfbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@elfbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfbabe)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/51 "2005-05-25T19:26:40Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > While I’m tickled by your story, Survey Guy was clearly in the wrong. How did he get away with it? Though I’m not anything remotely resembling a lawyer… if Cool Dude’s car was preventing Survey Guy from leaving, that might have constituted false imprisonment, the definition of which is surprisingly broad at times. Survey Guy’s car-flattening may have been judged an appropriate way of defending himself/resisting false imprisonment, given the circumstances. Me, I think it’s pretty extreme, but I don’t know how threatening Cool Dude was being or for how long. ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/52 "2005-05-25T20:11:11Z")
> [@Tripler](#): > > \At first, when I was a kid, it wasn’t so bad, but I remember in high school that I couldn’t park my pickup truck in my own driveway because some soccer-mom had parked and blocked half of it. Whattapainintheass. Too bad I didn’t have a four-wheel drive. I would have towed them myself.\ I have done exactly that. That will teach the little ricer to block in a truck with off road recovery gear hanging from the rear bumper. (BTW there was no damage to the Type-R bumblebee-in-a-can powered Honda.) ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Goob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@Mr.Goob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Goob)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/53 "2005-05-25T20:12:09Z")
Made me remember a story. I drove a delivery truck for years. One big hospital in the city had room for two trucks at a time in the loading dock. It seemed there was always one or two others waiting. General rule of first come first served. I’m sitting there waiting when a chocolate brown delivery truck comes up to wait too. One guy unloaded and drove out, the snarmy guy in all brown clothes made eye contact and zoomed into the dock ahead of me. Another driver I kind of know from running into each other all the time saw this and looks at me and throws his arms up in the air. I walked over to him and asked if he’d like a cup of coffee. We parked our two trucks blocking in the all brown truck and went looking for the coffee shop in the hospital. 20 minutes later a very harried red faced UPS dude found us and demanded we move our trucks. The other dude I was with said Sorry I’m not done with my coffee yet. The UPS guy is about to explode and says again YOU HAVE TO MOVE YOUR TRUCKS. I told him, Pal this is America I don’t have to do anything. We let him dangle for another few minutes then let him go. He wasn’t all that much later than if he’d waited his turn. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/54 "2005-05-25T20:45:04Z")
An old story, but one I love to tell. I took my then pregnant wife to the county fair, and parked in a spot next to an animal trailer, nose-to-nose with another vehicle. While we were in the fairgrounds, some bozo in a junky old pickup truck (this is important) parks behind us, blocking us in. I had a fit, but also a wonerfully eeeeeeevil idea. The truck had mushroom door locks, side vent windows, and a manual transmission. It took some doing, but I found a long and stiff piece of wire. ran it in through the side window, and unlocked the POS. Then I took it out of gear, and with the help of a couple of friends, pushed it backwards into the lane so we could get the car out. Of course, since I broke in to the truck, I didn’t want anyone else to do it, too, so I relocked it: headlights and everything else turned on to high, and right where we left it blocking traffic in the lane. :eek: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/55 "2005-05-25T20:45:40Z")
> [@Martin Hyde](#): > > After reading this thread I wish I had a house next to a school, like the next lot over. It’d give me pleasure to no end to tow these pretentious soccer moms 2-3 times a day. I live a block away from a Catholic school, and I gotta tell you, while the first couple of times are nasty fun, the shit gets really, really old. ---
**Author:** ![jacquilynne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/56 "2005-05-25T21:49:16Z")
> [@Little Bird](#): > > Heh heh heh. I had a similar occurrence. I turned onto a one way, one lane street just as another car full of college boys came screaming in going the wrong way. We stopped about 20 feet off each others’ bumpers. Since had been going a reasonable speed I was barely a car length onto the street, so even though they were in the wrong I began to back out to let them by. The boys then began yelling and making rude gestures at me in the theme of “Who’s your daddy” and “Yeah, bitch backin’ down” and what not. I hadn’t expected a “thank you” or anything, but I found this a bit rude. So I threw it back into drive and pulled right up to their bumper. After a good minute and a half of them gesturing and yelling at me they screamed back out of the little street and back up the street the came from, in reverse. I’m just glad there weren’t any pedestrians behind them. There’s a classic story about knitting diva Elizabeth Zimmerman in a similar vein. It’s said that she was driving down a one way alley in New York, while a taxi cab was cutting through in the wrong direction. He gestured to try to get her out of his way. And she gestured that she had the right of way. He gestured that he was prepared to wait. She pulled out her knitting needles and yarn. He backed out of the alley. ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/57 "2005-05-26T16:11:54Z")
This is one story of road-rage justice I love to tell. It happened to me about five years ago. Confession up front - in this case I was the “blocker”, but it wasn’t intentional and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I was on a three-lane road - not a highway, just a large, extremely busy boulevard. There was a massive four-way intersection ahead, which to this day is perpetually clogged with heavy traffic and very long lines waiting for the green light and protected left. I approached the intersection while driving in the right-hand lane at a reasonable speed. It was late afternoon on a weekday, which means the road was even more clogged than usual. I slowed and arrived at the end of the line of cars. I left a reasonable distance between my bumper and the bumper of the vehicle in front of me. As it turned out, the butt end of my car was exactly at the junction of the right-hand lane and the portion of the lane that veered off to the right to permit vehicles to turn right without having to wait at the light. Well, there was nothing but a solid wall of cars directly in front of me and directly beside me, so there wasn’t anywhere for me to go, literally. There was a REALLY impatient driver behind me whose vehicle was almost on top of mine because he was trying to veer right, but I could not move up enough for anyone to get by. It’s just the way the cars happened to align when traffic began to build up behind the traffic light, and there wasn’t anything I could do. The guy behind me was honking his horn and going ballistic inside his car, waving at me to move up so he could pass. I held up my hands in the “Sorry” gesture and pointed in front of me to demonstrate I could move no further. I inched my car forward as much as I could to show goodwill, and that I was in no way deliberately blocking anyone’s passage. My front bumper was now nearly kissing the bumper of the vehicle in front of me, and yet there was still no room for anyone to pass. Did I mention that this massive intersection has agonizingly l-o-n-g waits at the traffic lights? I could see that a very long line of cars waiting to veer right was building up behind him. No one else was going crazy and honking the horn, except for him. My gesture of goodwill only served to further infuriate him and he leaned on his horn for a really long honk, as if the noise would suddenly create space for me to move up. The guy in the truck in front of me was looking around, presumably to see who was honking. I held up my hands to show it wasn’t me. :rolleyes: We’re all still waiting at the light and suddenly I see the maniac burst out of his car, slam the door in a fury and storm up to my passenger-side window. “Move!” he shouted. “MOVE YOUR FUCKING CAR UP SO I CAN PASS!!!” Geesh! It would have been patently obvious to anyone with working eyes that there was nowhere for me to go and I could move up no further. I can only assume he’d have been satisfied if I’d rammed the vehicle in front of me enough to move out of the way for him to pass. Unfortunately, my Toyota was no match for the truck in front of me. Since I realized I was dealing with someone deranged by road rage, I ignored him and did not engage, not wanting to incite anything. He stormed back to his car and I clearly heard the slam of the door; I was amazed his window didn’t shatter. :eek: In my side mirror on the passenger side, I saw the guy drive his car up onto the curb on the right and I heard his engine rev. Obviously he was going to attempt to drive up over the curb, onto the grass and back down over the curb onto the cross street. Through my side mirror I saw his car lurch downwards violently, and heard the engine revving. The guy had gotten himself stuck on the curb. He continued revving his engine but the car went nowhere. The guy got out of his car again, shouting all manner of obscenities and was clearly out of control. His car was marooned on the curb and he couldn’t move it. Well, wouldn’t you know that the light then turned green, and those of us in line started moving forward through the traffic light. Through my rearview I saw that the cars that had been behind him waiting to veer right were simply going around him. Most of the front end of his car was up on the curb, so there was enough room for people to pass by. I was still having crazy laughing jags at three o’clock the next morning. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/58 "2005-05-26T17:20:59Z")
Yup, that’s some road rage. A really good cure for road rage caused by waiting at long lights is to time them - I was very surprised when I discovered that the longest light that I had to wait at was 90 seconds long. I’m getting this steamed up over 90 seconds? That was a good, healthy dose of perspective. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/59 "2005-05-26T18:47:05Z")
> [@silver1](#): > > …Through my rearview I saw that the cars that had been behind him waiting to veer right were simply going around him. Most of the front end of his car was up on the curb, so there was enough room for people to pass by. > > I was still having crazy laughing jags at three o’clock the next morning. 😃 I had a not so cool, but similar incident (that I’ve shared here before, sorry for those that have already read this one). I was driving down to “the Kenai” about 150 miles South of Anchorage one night. It was about 3am (summer, so the best time to avoid slow blue-haired tourists in motorhomes). Toward Soldotna, there is only a two lane road, one that twists and winds and is impossible to pass on. As I got closer to Sterling and Soldotna, I got stuck behind a slow moving (apparently night owl old folks) old motor home. After a few miles a bright red little sports car caught up with us, and spent about 15 miles before we got to the straightaway, on my bumper flashing lights and honking. Now this motorhome was of the ancient and gigantic variety, so it’s impossible that Mr. Sports Car didn’t see it blocking my way as well. But my daughter and I were enjoying Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts on an actual 8 track in my even more ancient Caddy, so we ignored him, knowing that the straightaway was coming up pretty soon and we’d be rid of him. Sure enough, the nano-second the road straightened out, he hit the gas and was around us and gone. I passed the motorhome also, but settled to a reasonable 70something mph. As we approached the outskirts of Sterling here sat Mr. Sports Car, a guest of one of the State Troopers. I looked at my teenage daughter and said “I’m sorry, but I can’t resist”. She said “go for it”. Soooo, I honked my horn in the Nya nya nya nya NAAAAA NAAAA pattern as we drove by. My daughter rolled down the window and waved sweetly. We could see the State Trooper laughing in the rear view window. Ahhhhh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331/60 "2005-05-26T19:28:42Z")
Time for my own tale. I have off-street parking in front of my house. When I first moved in, I had to defend it. One of the houses opposite was occupied by three females and they had an awful lot of visitors :D. So when some idiot parked in my space, I just parked blocking them in, and cracked open a can of cider or something. Cue “I’m sorry, but I’ve been drinking and am in no fit state to operate a car” sometime later. I never had to add the word “officer”. Word soon got around. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitchface-do-not-block-my-driveway/305331.md?page=4)