# "Bitter, Cynical & Depressed . . . Cynical speaking!" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038 "2003-03-17T17:09:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/1 "2003-03-17T17:09:02Z")
I’ve decided I must be the love child of Dorothy Parker and Oscar Levant—my outlook on life is, and always has been, incurably dark and bleak. Oh, sure, I know how lucky I am: I have a job (_that I hate_), live in a nice area (_that’s likely to be blown up soon_), I’m fairly healthy (_till I get cancer or a brain tumor_). I have lots of lovely friends (_who will also die horribly someday_). I envy the Pollyannas of the world, who believe in The Goodness of Mankind, and karma and gods and afterlives and all that other applesauce. But as for me, I brood and mull and just wait for that inevitable anvil to come crashing down on my noggin. Surely I’m not alone—are their any other nihilists here? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/2 "2003-03-17T17:15:32Z")
Nope cause the new phonebooks are here! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/3 "2003-03-17T17:28:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*Surely I’m not alone \*\* You’re obviously not a nihilist if you think that. Chalk it up to one more thing at which you fail. Daniel 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/4 "2003-03-17T17:57:42Z")
I don’t know if I’d call myself a nihilist, but I do understand the mindset you describe. Ironically, I am, by nature, an optimist. No one who has only known me for a short time would believe that, though. Quite the contrary; I have a bit of a reputation as a “doomsayer”. While everyone around me is getting all excited about whatever the latest shiny new toy/concept/event happens to be, I’ll be sitting there going “Ummm…guys? Have you considered…” This is because, when I was young, I would look at every situation and say “well, maybe \ will happen”. Very rarely did the hoped for thing happen. Often, the bad alternative happening, instead, would come as a crushing blow. To avoid repeated crushing, I’ve learned to look for the worst possible outcome, and anticipate it happening. That way, if the worst happens, I’m prepared; if it doesn’t, I’m pleasantly surprised. Rarely do I find myself crushed, these days, by the foreseeable outcome of a chain of events. This “look for the trap” mentality is now so ingrained, it’s second nature. Some people, especially those who fancy themselves spindoctors, find this really annoying. Particularly corporate hacks who are trying to make cost cutting measures, designed to increase the value of the CEO’s stock options, sound like a benefit for the employees. The upside is I am unspinnable. I automatically see the downside to anything, so when they start trying to spin it, it just doesn’t work on me. \*\* Behold! Look upon me, and tremble. For I am the Anti-Spin!\*\* Yeah, okay. So I’m in a weird mood… ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/5 "2003-03-17T18:10:08Z")
[Big Lebowski] No, Donny, this **Eve** is a nihilist. There’s nothing to be afraid of. [/Big Lebowski] ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/6 "2003-03-17T20:37:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > **I envy the Pollyannas of the world, who believe in The Goodness of Mankind, and karma and gods and afterlives and all that other applesauce. But as for me, I brood and mull and just wait for that inevitable anvil to come crashing down on my noggin.** Maybe I’m a bit cynical myself today; you be the judge. **Eve** , do you really envy the Pollyannas or do you think they’re idiots? I ask because I would consider myself Pollyannaesque and have gotten myself married into a family of cynics. El Hubbo’s the only one who hasn’t expressed distaste for my usual bent; he _does_ find other perennially happy people annoying. Just wondering. Okay, I admit it. I hope you don’t think I’m a moron. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/7 "2003-03-17T20:48:52Z")
While I generally agree with you Eve, I hate to say it but I’m an optimist. I’m so happy to know that I’ll either be killed in a terrorist attack, send off to die un djubouti (should we invade there) or die from that new virus running around the globe. Beats the crap out of dying from something I contracted from work for a lousy 12.50 an hour. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/8 "2003-03-17T20:58:28Z")
Well, _both_, actually . . . ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/9 "2003-03-17T21:15:58Z")
That’s an acceptable response, I guess. Happy happy joy joy yippee skippee all the live long day… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/10 "2003-03-17T21:19:38Z")
> [@](#): > > This is because, when I was young, I would look at every situation and say “well, maybe \ will happen”. Very rarely did the hoped for thing happen. Often, the bad alternative happening, instead, would come as a crushing blow. To avoid repeated crushing, I’ve learned to look for the worst possible outcome, and anticipate it happening. That way, if the worst happens, I’m prepared; if it doesn’t, I’m pleasantly surprised. Rarely do I find myself crushed, these days, by the foreseeable outcome of a chain of events. This “look for the trap” mentality is now so ingrained, it’s second nature. Or, in other words, hope for the best, expect the worst. That pretty much describes my mindset as well. Although, I’ve sometimes found that even after I’ve fully contemplated what a situation’s worst case scenario could be like, it still turns out to be far more horrible than I could ever have imagined. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/11 "2003-03-17T21:21:55Z")
Well, yeah, you know the old saying: everything Man makes breaks, everything God makes dies. ---
**Author:** ![Payne\_N.Diaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Payne\_N.Diaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payne_N.Diaz)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/12 "2003-03-17T21:48:17Z")
I’m pretty much a nihilist–suprise, suprise. Can I join your crappy club for jerks, too? (BTW, it’s spelled P-A-Y-N-E , people!) ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/13 "2003-03-18T00:15:59Z")
I can be Bitter. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/14 "2003-03-18T00:57:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NDP \* > \*\*Or, in other words, hope for the best, expect the worst. > > That pretty much describes my mindset as well. Although, I’ve sometimes found that even after I’ve fully contemplated what a situation’s worst case scenario could be like, it still turns out to be far more horrible than I could ever have imagined. \*\* Yes, occasionally that will happen, but rarely. And, it’s less devestating if you’re expecting something bad to happen, even it’s not the same bad something. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/15 "2003-03-18T01:00:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Payne N. Diaz \* > **Can I join your crappy club for jerks, too?** I vote no. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/16 "2003-03-18T04:03:50Z")
“I got buzzards’ luck”. “huh?” “Cain’t _kill_ nothin’”. “won’t nuthin’ _die_”. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/17 "2003-03-18T04:51:13Z")
I’m in a mixed marriage, too, **Gazelle from Hell** - I’m the optimist, and my husband is the gold medal winner in both the Olympic Wet Blanket Toss and the Standing Conclusion Jump. He’s forever claiming something dire is about to happen, and I’m forever saying things aren’t as bad as all that. As it happens, I’m usually right, and I’m not just saying that because he’s asleep three rooms away and can’t argue the point. So phooey on you and your pessimism, **Eve**! ---
**Author:** ![Gairloch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d2c977/32.png) [@Gairloch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gairloch)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/18 "2003-03-18T05:04:45Z")
Speaking as the love child of Ayn Rand and Machiavelli, would that be nihilist in the, “annihilation of consciousness as an aspect of mystical experience,” sense; in the “power-mad total and absolute destructiveness,” sense; or in the, “my damned donut has jelly in it again and I specifically asked for the custard,” sense? If the latter, allow me to employ my unofficial position as right hand concubine to the Most Holy and Sacred Giant Roman Bunny Rabbit to grant you nihil obstat. Be gentle with us. It is our first time. Gairloch ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/19 "2003-03-18T05:14:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dwyr \* > \*\*I can be Bitter. \*\* Aw, maaan. I wanted to be Bitter. First **Eve** took Cynical, which is my favorite, then I was ready to settle for Bitter (since it’s her OP and all) and now look what happens. I’m stuck with Depressed. It’s just like when I used to play Monopoly with my brother and sister when we were kids. My sister got the dog, my brother got the car and I, the youngest, was stuck with the shoe or the thimble or something equally stupid. Stupid, stupid Depressed. ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038/20 "2003-03-18T05:16:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > Surely I’m not alone—are their any other nihilists here? \*\* [Leslie Neilsen] “And don’t call me Shirley.” [/Leslie Neilsen] **Eve** , you cannot possibly know how reassuring it is to the free (literate) world that you are still posting here. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bitter-cynical-depressed-cynical-speaking/162038.md?page=2)