# Bizarre Product Rant **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638 "2000-04-04T19:56:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/1 "2000-04-04T19:56:00Z")
Ok, so that’s a bizarre topic name, but here goes: A friend just brought me some Kentucky Fried Chicken for lunch. Moments ago, I was settling down to enjoy a nice buttermilk milk biscuit with honey when the wording on the honey packet caught my eye: “Honey Sauce”. “Sauce?” thinks I. Then I check the ingredients: honey (so far so good), high fructose corn syrup (isn’t honey sweet enough?), sugar (isn’t corn syrup sweet enough??), corn syrup (guess not, they need two kinds), natural flavoring, and caramel color (of course, because at this point you have more sugar than honey so you need to make it taste and look like honey again). So what I’m about to put on my biscuit is basically honey flavored sugar. Is real honey really so expensive they can’t afford to give away a tablespoonful? The mind boggles. Ok, so what products have you seen (or even bought) lately that confounded you? * * * “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy [The Kat House](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/home.htm) [Join the FSH Muscular Dystrophy Webring](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/fshwebring.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/2 "2000-04-04T20:03:00Z")
I once saw an advertisement for a meowing cat clock on the back cover of _Parade_ magazine, that Sunday-paper throwaway. One of the ‘selling points’ of this thing was that it meowed every hour on the hour. * * * **TMR** _If you believed in yourself, and tore enough holes in your pants, there was always a mist-filled alley right around the corner._ ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/3 "2000-04-04T20:03:00Z")
_Artificial_ vanilla flavoring. What do they use to flavor it if not vanilla? * * * Homepage: [http://www.bigfuckinboatwithbadassplanes.mil](http://www.bigfuckinboatwithbadassplanes.mil) Occupation: Swabbie Pounder, First Class Location: Anywhere you feckless landlubbers ain’t. Interests: Navy Chow, Port of Call, The Head, Air Superiority ICQ Number: CVN69 **– An UncleBeer Profile** “Avast and ahoy, landlubbers! Shore leave’s in August. Hide your women.” **– A WallySig** ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/4 "2000-04-04T20:05:00Z")
Gr8kat… that is so funny! I had the same experience last night eating KFC!! In fact I was going to post a topic about it, but I forgot. As if geneticly mutated Chickstrosities wernt bad enough… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/5 "2000-04-04T20:07:00Z")
Anything with meat By-products… what the hell is a meat byproduct?.. and why are they so damned delicious?? ---
**Author:** ![ThisYearsGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@ThisYearsGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisYearsGirl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/6 "2000-04-04T20:08:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Trout Mask Replica: > \*\*I once saw an advertisement for a meowing cat clock on the back cover of _Parade_ magazine, that Sunday-paper throwaway. One of the ‘selling points’ of this thing was that it meowed every hour on the hour. > > \*\* Dude, don’t laugh. My mom owns the horse and bird version of that clock. They are, I swear to God, the most annoying things I’ve ever dealt with in my life. * * * “I need the biggest seed bell you have. . . no, that’s too big.”–Hans Moleman ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/7 "2000-04-04T20:11:00Z")
There is a cleaning product called K2R or something like that, the can has a brush on the cap. I once looked at the list of materials that it would not work on and it included: Cotton Polyester Rayon Silk Wool Linen Wood Plastics. I can’t remember what else was listed, but esentially the stuff didn’t work on anything, the label said as much but they still sold it. * * * Gee, I don’t think any of us expected him to say that. ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/8 "2000-04-04T20:17:00Z")
Here’s a _really_ bizarre product: A line of weird-looking dolls of old people being pushed by none other than **Richard Simmons**. Yep, the Dream Maker himself. * * * **TMR** _If you believed in yourself, and tore enough holes in your pants, there was always a mist-filled alley right around the corner._ ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/9 "2000-04-04T20:28:00Z")
Bible Action Figures. Here’s the website. [http://www.trainupachild.com/](http://www.trainupachild.com/) * * * “Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” - the White Queen ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/10 "2000-04-04T20:37:00Z")
Stealing some of Notthemama’s thunder: [Mormon Action Figures](http://www.lehi.com/vin1.html) * * * **TMR** _If you believed in yourself, and tore enough holes in your pants, there was always a mist-filled alley right around the corner._ ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/11 "2000-04-04T20:40:00Z")
SUVs ## ::welll, _someone_ had to say it!:: Once in a while you can get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right… ---
**Author:** ![SmoothOperator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@SmoothOperator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmoothOperator)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/12 "2000-04-04T20:43:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Trout Mask Replica: > \*\*Here’s a _really_ bizarre product: > > A line of weird-looking dolls of old people being pushed by none other than **Richard Simmons**. Yep, the Dream Maker himself. > You got pictures? I want some pics. I would love to see those. 😃 > > I found some crystalized honey in the sugar section of the supermarket the other day. I can’t decide if it’s a cool idea or not. > \*\* ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/13 "2000-04-04T20:43:00Z")
Ooh! Ooh! This one: [http://www.aleitamento.org.br/ingles/doll.htm](http://www.aleitamento.org.br/ingles/doll.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Thirsty4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Thirsty4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thirsty4)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/14 "2000-04-04T20:44:00Z")
Originally posted by ChiefScott: > [@](#): > > _Artificial_ vanilla flavoring. > > What do they use to flavor it if not vanilla? I thought the reason artificial vanilla flavouring was so popular is because the amount of real vanilla that is produced isn’t even enough for flavouring ice cream. What I don’t get is Rum flavoring. Why wouldn’t you use real Rum? * * * “You CAN’T be evil. 'Cos no matter how many ‘bad’ things you do on purpose, you MUST be doing it because you think it’s the right thing to do.” ---
**Author:** ![Sentinel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sentinel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sentinel)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/15 "2000-04-05T07:00:00Z")
‘Real’ vanilla is expensive as heck. I used to buy the pods for a couple of cents, but now you get like two dinky ones for $2. It was cool to take a pod and dump it in your sugar container and leave it there to get lightly scented sugar. Plus, if you slit a pod, scraped out the small amount of oily seeds and dumped them in a pan of simmering milk – the scent was magnificent. Add a little sugar and it tasted great! ---
**Author:** ![Dalou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Dalou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dalou)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/16 "2000-04-05T07:10:00Z")
Ever check out the back of a box of Hamburger Helper? It has a big, yellow sunburst, boldly boasting that it’s “Made with Real Ingredients”. Like this is a major selling point with food now?! * * * I’m finished having kids. The next diaper I want in my life is to be my own! ---
**Author:** ![Dalou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Dalou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dalou)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/17 "2000-04-05T07:26:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by cher3: > \*\*Ooh! Ooh! This one: > [http://www.aleitamento.org.br/ingles/doll.htm](http://www.aleitamento.org.br/ingles/doll.htm) \*\* Well, this one certainly beats me and my Hamburger Helper! * * * I’m finished having kids. The next diaper I want in my life is to be my own! ---
**Author:** ![Commander\_Fortune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Commander\_Fortune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Commander_Fortune)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/18 "2000-04-05T07:26:00Z")
[www.spankie.com](http://www.spankie.com) 'nuff said ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/19 "2000-04-05T09:00:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by cher3: > \*\*Ooh! Ooh! This one: > [http://www.aleitamento.org.br/ingles/doll.htm](http://www.aleitamento.org.br/ingles/doll.htm) \*\* There just aren’t words… * * * “You don’t have insurance? Well, just have a seat and someone will be with you after you die.” --Yes, another quality sig custom created by Wally! A Jesusfied sig: Next time I covet thine opinion, I’ll ask for it! ---
**Author:** ![AKAmame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aca169/32.png) [@AKAmame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AKAmame)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/20 "2000-04-05T10:00:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by cher3: > \*\*Ooh! Ooh! This one: > [http://www.aleitamento.org.br/ingles/doll.htm](http://www.aleitamento.org.br/ingles/doll.htm) \*\* My my. Oh my oh my. What gets me is how you found it in the first place. My mother-in-law’s replica of a famous cane toad (size of a dinner plate)that croaks when you walk past it just can’t compete. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638.md?page=2)