# Bizarre Product Rant **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 4, 2000, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638 "2000-04-04T19:56:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Akatsukami](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Akatsukami](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Akatsukami)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/21 "2000-04-05T12:32:00Z")
See the actual [recursive list of ingredients](http://www.keenspot.com/KeenBoard/Forum3/HTML/000012.html)! (No, it’s _not_ an April Fool’s joke). To a certain degree, I don’t consider this a problem; make the growers of broccoli slap a list of what their weeds contain on their product, and it will be longer and scarier. But does anyone find that the time/nutrition/gustatory experience is it actually in their favor. (Note: I got called at 2345 last night to fix a batch job that had gone down, and got back to bed about 0120. I _think_ that this post makes sense, but I’ve edited it twice, and may have just missed the more subtle errors.) * * * “I don’t just want you to feel envy. I want you to suffer, I want you to bleed, I want you to die a little bit each day. And I want you to thank me for it.” – What “Let’s just be friends” _really_ means ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/22 "2000-04-05T12:44:00Z")
Bizzare products? Here’s one: [http://www.fufme.com/](http://www.fufme.com/) and of course, directions on how to use it: [http://www.fufme.com/faq-use.html](http://www.fufme.com/faq-use.html) * * * Mayor of [Snerdville](http://fathom.org/snerdville), the home of Mortimer Snerd “I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.” –Wayne Knight ---
**Author:** ![Daniel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Daniel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daniel)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/23 "2000-04-05T12:45:00Z")
grrr. . . . _Bizarre_! usually I just let my spelling errors go but for some reason this one kept nagging at me . . . * * * Mayor of [Snerdville](http://fathom.org/snerdville), the home of Mortimer Snerd “I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.” –Wayne Knight ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/24 "2000-04-05T12:51:00Z")
Yup. Nagged at him for a whole _minute_ before he gave into temptation. What great self-control!! 😃 * * * **Defect borg: _“Refutile is sistance. Your ass will be simulated”._** * * * **WallyM7** on Coldfire: _ **"Yeah, he knows a little about everything because they have a good prison library."** _ ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2000, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/25 "2000-04-05T14:09:00Z")
[Mr. Corkers](http://www.mrcorkers.com). Yummy! * * * **TMR** _If you believed in yourself, and tore enough holes in your pants, there was always a mist-filled alley right around the corner._ ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/26 "2000-04-06T07:31:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Gr8Kat: > **Moments ago, I was settling down to enjoy a nice buttermilk milk biscuit with honey when the wording on the honey packet caught my eye: “Honey Sauce”…Then I check the ingredients: honey (so far so good), high fructose corn syrup (isn’t honey sweet enough?), sugar (isn’t corn syrup sweet enough??), corn syrup (guess not, they need two kinds), natural flavoring, and caramel color (of course, because at this point you have more sugar than honey so you need to make it taste and look like honey again). So what I’m about to put on my biscuit is basically honey flavored sugar. Is real honey really so expensive they can’t afford to give away a tablespoonful? The mind boggles.** ## That **is** ridiculous, Kat, especially considering that honey has a longer shelf life than any other food, condiment or otherwise. “His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad, His hair is as dark as a blackboard, I wish he was mine, he’s really divine, The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.” ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/27 "2000-04-06T13:45:00Z")
Watched a friend open several ridiculously expensive cans of green chili peppers to use in a recipe, she had a handful of green mush for her $5, when she could have bought a few fresh peppers and steamed them. I guess the convenience of cans outweighs the time and energy to prepare fresh. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/28 "2000-04-07T23:05:00Z")
Last night I had a sick headache. I should have gone to bed, but part of me hasn’t outgrown the “please, just 5 more minutes before bedtime” mentality. So I was laying on the couch with a cold rag on my eyes and forward, half drowsing/half listening to the TV when I swear I heard an ad for a facial product by Dove called “Nutria.” It wasn’t until the commercial was over that the implication sunk in and I asked my hubby, “Was that product really called Dove Nutria?” Of course he hadn’t been listening. Did Dove really name a facial cleanser after a giant river rat? * * * “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy Are we kin? Visit me at [The Kat House](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/home.htm) and find out! [Join the FSH Muscular Dystrophy Webring](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/fshwebring.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/29 "2000-04-07T23:35:00Z")
Sorry, I meant “eyes and forehead.” My bad ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/30 "2000-04-07T12:55:00Z")
Remember when Nestle took over the making of Smarties? (For our non-Canadian friends, SMARTIES in Canada are like M&Ms, NOT those icky sweet-tart candy things - we call _those_ rockets) 😃 I will NEVER, EVER forget the day I was munching on a box of them while reading the ingredients list and noticing the last one being… shellac. :eek: I mean… Shellac. ::::shudder:::: Thank \ they don’t do it anymore! E. ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2000, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638/31 "2000-04-07T16:45:00Z")
Ok, the Dove product is called “Nutrium,” but doesn’t that sound like it should be the singular form of “nutria”? I know they are trying to associate their product with “nutrition” and so on, but I’m afraid I’ll always think of swamp rats. * * * “I hope life isn’t a big joke, because I don’t get it,” Jack Handy Are we kin? Visit me at [The Kat House](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/home.htm) and find out! [Join the FSH Muscular Dystrophy Webring](http://members.aol.com/gr8kat1/KatGen/fshwebring.htm) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-product-rant/15638.md?page=1)