# Bizarre reasons you've called in "sick."
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [October 16, 2011, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804 "2011-10-16T09:42:02Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2011, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/21 "2011-10-16T15:58:12Z")
I usually had a valid reason for being out, when I called out. Even if I was just needing a mental health day, it was usually valid - as in I was going to have a complete mental breakdown if forced to go to work that day. I typically have a good enough relationship with my bosses to tell them exactly why I’m not coming in. So, I’ve actually told a boss, “I’m not coming in today because I just can’t deal with so-and-so today without completely flipping out on their worthless ass.”
I find that the truth usually works pretty well. 😃
I once called in sick because I had poured scalding hot water on my crotch and it hurt to walk.
I called in sick to school once (college) because I had two flat tires - one on each vehicle. It was 3:30AM and I had just been towed back home from the Vet ER so there was no way I was dealing with them before school (I had to be up for school at 6am). Luckily for me, school was cancelled because of a “snowstorm” which only left about 2" of snow on the ground. I still have no clue why they cancelled school that day but it was very good timing because it kept me from missing a lab. We ended up having to buy a floor jack and 6 different socket sizes before we were able to change the Jeep tire. The Jeep tire could be fixed. The car tire had to be replaced. With the Vet ER bill, it ended up being a very expensive Friday.
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### Author:  [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2011, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/22 "2011-10-16T16:17:00Z")
When my first husband and I were married, we lived in a townhouse apartment with double cylinder deadbolts on both doors - you needed a key to unlock from inside or outside. One morning, he was called in to deal with some big hubbub at his most distant store, which was about 60 miles away. Apparently, in his state of early morning confusion, he grabbed my keys off the entry table, having already put his own in his pocket. I got up at my usual time, got ready for work, and realized as I tried to leave that I was locked in. Now, if it had been some big emergency like a fire, I certainly would have gone through a window, but to go pull a four hour shift waiting tables, at 6 months pregnant? Yep, called the manager and told her that I wasn’t coming in because I was trapped inside. (Besides, my husband also had my car keys on the same ring. And yes, we got spares of everything that evening.)
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### Author:  [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/23 "2011-10-16T20:15:37Z")
Back when dinosaurs ruled the earth (early 80s) - before the advent of ubiquitous home video equipment , etc., I would call in sick if a particular film (usually Joan Crawford or Bette Davis) was going to be on “Dialing for Dollars” or “Million Dollar Movie”.
UT
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### Author:  [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/24 "2011-10-16T21:22:13Z")
I called out [and emailed the vid from my cell phone] because the storm had knocked down a tree on our street that dropped a live electric line into the mouth of our single car wide driveway and every time it bounced it set the debris on the ground on fire, and then the rain sort of doused it just enough to keep it from spreading. It got knocked down at about 3 am, the electric company didn’t bother getting around to our street for another 13 hours. The neighbors and us had essentially made impromptu signs/barriers out of plywood at set them up back by the only roads in either direction that could be used as detours to keep people from driving to the spot where the wires were down and having to back up a mile or more to get around the wires that were down in and across the road.
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/25 "2011-10-16T22:58:20Z")
> [@congodwarf](#):
>
> I usually had a valid reason for being out, when I called out. Even if I was just needing a mental health day, it was usually valid - as in I was going to have a complete mental breakdown if forced to go to work that day. I typically have a good enough relationship with my bosses to tell them exactly why I’m not coming in. So, I’ve actually told a boss, “I’m not coming in today because I just can’t deal with so-and-so today without completely flipping out on their worthless ass.”
Sounds like you got to use the good old “anal glaucoma” excuse.
“I just don’t see my ass coming into work today.” 😃
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### Author:  [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2011, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/26 "2011-10-16T23:17:05Z")
Two from my coworkers. One guy did several hours of gardening while in sandals and sunburned the tops of his feet so badly that he couldn’t wear shoes, which is not good when you’re supposed to be in court. Another got her car stuck in her garage because the power was out, and either didn’t know she could open it manually or wasn’t able to because she’s about 4’11".
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### Author:  [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)
#### Post date: [October 16, 2011, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/27 "2011-10-16T23:25:46Z")
> [@cochrane](#):
>
> Sounds like you got to use the good old “anal glaucoma” excuse.
>
> “I just don’t see my ass coming into work today.” 😃
That is awesome. I’ve never heard that before! Now I just need to get a job so I can use it. Somehow I don’t think my Spanish professor would be amused.
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### Author:  [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/28 "2011-10-17T00:14:33Z")
> [@cochrane](#):
>
> Sounds like you got to use the good old “anal glaucoma” excuse.
>
> “I just don’t see my ass coming into work today.” 😃
Around here we call that “rectal myopia.”
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### Author:  [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/29 "2011-10-17T02:37:15Z")
I was hospitalized by my cat.
🙂
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### Author:  [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/30 "2011-10-17T02:43:23Z")
I take mental health sick days whenever I feel the need and have done so at every legal job I’ve every held, so I am well versed in appropriate excuses. Anything related to law enforcement has worked without question. My personal favorite, “I have to go bail out my father,” when used during my university days, granted time-off, paper extensions, and on one splendid occasion cab fare. I don’t question students who call in because the police are searching their apartments or they have to bail someone out of jail, though I know they could well be lying.
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### Author:  [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/31 "2011-10-17T02:57:31Z")
> [@PapSett](#):
>
> My cousin had just bought a new horse…
Okay, this one just reminded me of a high-school one. My mother gave me a permission slip to leave early because I had an appointment. When my teacher asked what the appointment was, I replied that I had to go see a man about a horse. This set my table-mates laughing (my homeroom was also a science lab) and they all agreed that I was telling the truth.
He didn’t like it but he accepted the excuse. I left early to go riding with some friends who had graduated a couple years ahead of me. My grades were good so my mom let me go as a birthday treat. She was pretty cool that way sometimes.
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### Author:  [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/32 "2011-10-17T03:02:05Z")
My attendance these days is the best in the office, but there were a few times I excused myself for frivolous reasons. Back in the pre-Ticketmaster days, I called in sick on a Saturday so I could stand in line to get tickets for The Who. Once the first day of Spring, when it was just too friggin’ nice to go to work, I called in sick from the pay phone at Henry Coe State Park. (I was worried that the birds singing in the background would give me away, but my boss never said anything)
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### Author:  [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/33 "2011-10-17T03:27:25Z")
I called in sick once…so I could work. I was scheduled to be in Chicago for another mind-numbing meeting. I wanted to work instead (I work out of my home) so I called in sick.
My asshole boss was po’d and told me I needed a dr. slip. I have a friend who has migraines so I knew the symptoms, voila, an idea was born. I just needed to go to the doc for some “reason” to get the permission slip.
Little did I know that by faking a migraine, I got a shot or Toradol and something else in my rear end. Won’t do that again!
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### Author:  [@NoiseBomb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NoiseBomb)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/34 "2011-10-17T03:45:23Z")
I was appearing in court as a witness for a friend who had a former mutual acquaintance file a false police report against him and his wife, mostly just to be a vindictive bitch. Long story, don’t ask. I didn’t want employers asking either, so “sick” was much easier all around.
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### Author:  [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/35 "2011-10-17T03:53:59Z")
I once called in because I was stupid that day. (hungover, couldn’t find my glasses or shoes or carkeys and how the heck did I manage to get pics of kitteh wearing my bra cause I didn’t have scratches on my hands.)
Thats all I said, “I can’t come in today because I’m too stupid to work.”
The next day, my boss said that he’d never heard that one before. I was kinda proud, he had been managing fast food places all of his life and I had managed to find a new excuse to not sling pizza dough around.
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### Author:  [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/36 "2011-10-17T05:18:29Z")
Not sick, but I called in with a personal problem once because my cat had hemolytic anemia and needed an emergency blood transfusion. She actually ended up getting two that day.
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### Author:  [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/37 "2011-10-17T06:13:52Z")
Not work; law school. I used to live in an English basement apartment. UPS delivered several large boxes to my upstairs neighbor–large as in one of those foamy beds large. They were dropped between the stairwell and my front door, effectively blocking it (it would only open about two inches). My back door led to a yard with a very tall stockade fence and a deadbolt-locked gate. I was completely stuck. I knew I was on call that day, called the prof’s assistant, told her what happened, and got her assurance she’d beg for forgiveness on my behalf. Prof was great about it—she got quite a kick out of it and shared it with the class that day.
I’m pretty sure I started a thread about it here on the Dope, but can’t find it.
ETA: Whoa, Google searches are amazing. My first Pit thread, from 2002:
[
> [@](#):
>
> **Trapped!!**
> Greetings from my little English Basement Subterranean Hobbit-Hole,
> Can’t use the phone at the moment, waiting for U-P-Fucking-S to call me back. But I had to vent just a little. About twenty minutes ago I went to leave for class. Note the tense – ‘Went.’ U-Motherfucking-P-S had a delivery for my landlord upstairs. No problem, I get things for her all the time. So what’s the big deal? This time there were six (did I say six? I meant SfuckingIX! boxes, ALL about three feet high, a foot or two wide and about four feet long. No, scratch that, they are four-fucking-feet-long. Left parallel to the door? Reasonably stacked somehow? NO. No no no no no no! Oops, I’m sorry – FUCKING NO! They are strategically placed (no hyperbole there, the driver COULD NOT have done a better job if he tried) perpenfuckindicular to the door. They are wedged (WEDGED! THERE IS BARELY ROOM TO FIT THEM) between the door and the foundation of the steps. I CAN"T GET OUT!!! Back door is useless to me unless I want to break my landlord’s garage windows (not her fault, or else it would be a no-brainer) and my next-door neighbors are not home. SO HERE I SIT TRAPPED IN MY HOUSE!!! UPS is paging their de-fucking-livery center, THEN they are going to call me back, THEN they are going to page a driver, THEN he will call in when he can, THEN they will send him back here. This, I believe, is premised on UPS’s belief that there is only ONE driver in all of Washifuckington D-fucking-C! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!
]([Trapped!! - The BBQ Pit - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=145013))
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### Author:  [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/38 "2011-10-17T12:47:36Z")
I called off once because I was accidentally in Canada. I left a message that went something like this:
“This is **Chessic**. It’s 6 a.m. and I’m in…[don’t say Canada]…bed…still. So…I think I’ll be here a while. OK. Goodbye.”
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### Author:  [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/39 "2011-10-17T12:52:48Z")
Turkey truck rollover on the primary roadway. We sat in traffic for about an hour before I gave up, drove back home, and called in. For more than a few years I was teased about “Bad Reasons to Call In”.
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### Author:  [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)
#### Post date: [October 17, 2011, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-reasons-youve-called-in-sick/599804/40 "2011-10-17T13:33:29Z")
> [@Apollyon](#):
>
> I was hospitalized by my cat.
>
> 🙂
Is your cat a tiger?
I haven’t called in hungover since 2009, but when I did, I’d just say I’m feeling ill, which is true. I leave why I’m feeling that way out of the conversation altogether. The boss usually remarks that I sound like shit because I do. Other than that, I don’t really call in to miss a day, as my time off is otherwise planned. I called the day off once unexpectedly when my car was towed, but I didn’t feign illness.
Edit: No, I lie. As soon as I hit ‘submit’ I thought some things. These were both at the same job where the bosses seemed to think time off for anything other than crippling injury was no reason to take off: Called in sick to go drinking, then another time I called in sick to interview for another job (which I got).
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