# Bizarre Warning Issued **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [August 2, 2019, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073 "2019-08-02T17:13:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/1 "2019-08-02T17:13:13Z")
Here’s the link to the thread, as well as the OP I was responding to quoted in its entirety: [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=21754494#post21754494](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=21754494#post21754494) > [@She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-was-the-most-beautiful-girl-i-had-ever-seen/837189/1): > > **She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen** > > She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. I was sixteen years old and even at that age I had a little boy’s crush on her. > > I hadn’t seen her in almost forty years. This morning, I found out she died yesterday. > > She is by no means the first of my school ‘circle’ to die, but her death has made me well up more than once now. > > She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. And she still is. In response, I asked the following rhetorical question: > [@She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-was-the-most-beautiful-girl-i-had-ever-seen/837189/7): > > Would you still have eulogized her if she was homely? For that I received the following response from a moderator: > [@She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-was-the-most-beautiful-girl-i-had-ever-seen/837189/13): > > This is a warning for threadshitting. Do not return to this thread. What am I missing here? Have the rules here changed drastically of late? I’ve been here for 19 years and I don’t recall seeing a warning issued for such trivial matters before. ---
**Author:** ![txjim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f07891/32.png) [@txjim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/txjim)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/2 "2019-08-02T17:34:09Z")
I don’t believe there was a request for debate, it was someone sharing something personal. When I first read your comment, I quickly scanned ahead to see if it was already addressed bu a moderator. And, it was likely not trivial to the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/3 "2019-08-02T17:52:39Z")
Yeah, that’s a fucked up warning. With all the woke discussions we’ve had on this board lately. It makes sense someone would ask that question. It’s a perfectly valid question. The OP in that that thread offered us nothing of substance about the lady of his affection. Just: She’s pretty… Is that not objectification? ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/4 "2019-08-02T18:03:42Z")
Name me one person who has had a youthful crush on someone they didn’t find attractive? 1 in a 1000? Naturally a person would lament a crush’s passing. To call someone out by saying “ah but you haven’t lamented others who were plain looking person” is beyond the pale. How do you know the OP hasn’t done that? Because it wasn’t shared here? Maybe that crush gave the OP their 1st kiss? Who knows? ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/5 "2019-08-02T18:07:00Z")
> [@Surreal](#): > > What am I missing here? Human emotions? ---
**Author:** ![Surreal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Surreal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surreal)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/6 "2019-08-02T18:38:58Z")
For reference, here’s a similar recent thread from the same forum: [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=879079](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=879079) > [@Crush on Co-Worker---How to Cope ?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crush-on-co-worker-how-to-cope/837369/1): > > I have a mad crush on a co-worker (she’s married so nothing will happen), I can’t leave the job because of the high pay, I feel like a school boy with this. > Any ideas ? to which a response that simply read > [@Crush on Co-Worker---How to Cope ?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crush-on-co-worker-how-to-cope/837369/3): > > Grow up. did not receive an official warning, or even a reminder to keep it civil from the moderator. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/7 "2019-08-02T18:40:30Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Yeah, that’s a fucked up warning. > With all the woke discussions we’ve had on this board lately. It makes sense someone would ask that question. It’s a perfectly valid question. > > The OP in that that thread offered us nothing of substance about the lady of his affection. Just: She’s pretty… > > Is that not objectification? No, that’s 100% total threadshitting, and being “woke” has nothing to do with it. The Op also included \*"I hadn’t seen her in almost forty years. This morning, I found out she died yesterday. She is by no means the first of my school ‘circle’ to die, but her death has made me well up more than once now." \* ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/8 "2019-08-02T18:48:41Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > No, that’s 100% total threadshitting, and being “woke” has nothing to do with it. The Op also included \*"I hadn’t seen her in almost forty years. This morning, I found out she died yesterday. > > She is by no means the first of my school ‘circle’ to die, but her death has made me well up more than once now." > \* Let’s be real here, we’re not talking about the guy’s wife. We’re talking about some girl he had a crush on over forty years ago when he was 16. I think there’s enough separation there; we can have this conversation. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/9 "2019-08-02T18:54:16Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Let’s be real here, we’re not talking about the guy’s wife. We’re talking about some girl he had a crush on over forty years ago when he was 16. I think there’s enough separation there; we can have this conversation. Not without being outrageously insensitive. The guy is writing about the loss of someone he cared about. That is not the appropriate place to attack him with this agenda driven bullshit. Let the guy eulogize his former crush in peace. ---
**Author:** ![erysichthon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d07c76/32.png) [@erysichthon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erysichthon)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/10 "2019-08-02T18:59:53Z")
People who make negative remarks in eulogy/memorial threads are always dinged for threadshitting. That’s been going on at least as long as I’ve been here—I can think of a couple of examples off the top of my head. There’s nothing bizarre about that warning. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/11 "2019-08-02T19:04:19Z")
> [@erysichthon](#): > > People who make negative remarks in eulogy/memorial threads are always dinged for threadshitting. That’s been going on at least as long as I’ve been here—I can think of a couple of examples off the top of my head. There’s nothing bizarre about that warning. I consider it a violation of the official rule, “Don’t be a jerk.” ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/12 "2019-08-02T19:13:56Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Not without being outrageously insensitive. The guy is writing about the loss of someone he cared about. That is not the appropriate place to attack him with this agenda driven bullshit. Let the guy eulogize his former crush in peace. Having a crush on somebody is “caring” about them to the degree we need to give them a safe space them to “mourn”. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/13 "2019-08-02T19:17:53Z")
That was the epitome of threadshitting. I can’t understand how you can’t see how mean and petty that was. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/14 "2019-08-02T19:28:41Z")
If the OP had posted something like: “I just found out an old high school friend of mine has died. I went through some rough patches as a kid, and this girl was always there for me to help sort it out…” That would be different. That’s a REAL human connection. Crying about some girl you had a crush on is not. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/15 "2019-08-02T19:30:30Z")
> [@Atamasama](#): > > I consider it a violation of the official rule, “Don’t be a jerk.” This. TBH, my first thought when I read the OP of the thread in question was something like, “gosh, didn’t he have anything else to say about her except that she was physically attractive?” But I certainly never contemplated posting that thought in the thread. As I tried to teach my son when he was growing up, not every thought you have needs to be verbalized. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/16 "2019-08-02T19:31:54Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Not without being outrageously insensitive. The guy is writing about the loss of someone he cared about. That is not the appropriate place to attack him with this agenda driven bullshit. Let the guy eulogize his former crush in peace. Yep. We dont have to drag agenda driven bullshit into every thread. Next some guy will be mourning the death of his dog and people will be popping int to call that slavery and he is evil for being a pet slaver. Or some one will be posting about “best hamburgers” and people will be giving them a hard time about being evil meat eaters. Agenda has it’s place. It’s place isnt \*everywhere. \* ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/17 "2019-08-02T19:35:27Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Let’s be real here, we’re not talking about the guy’s wife. We’re talking about some girl he had a crush on over forty years ago when he was 16. I think there’s enough separation there; we can have this conversation. Should’ve been separated by putting > [@She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/she-was-the-most-beautiful-girl-i-had-ever-seen/837189/7): > > Would you still have eulogized her if she was homely? in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/18 "2019-08-02T19:38:50Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > Having a crush on somebody is “caring” about them to the degree we need to give them a safe space them to “mourn”. :rolleyes: Yeah. Why not? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/19 "2019-08-02T19:40:00Z")
> [@Surreal](#): > > For reference, here’s a similar recent thread from the same forum: > > [https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=879079](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=879079) > > to which a response that simply read > > did not receive an official warning, or even a reminder to keep it civil from the moderator. You post was an inappropriate threadshit, and while not against the rules you lose additional points for virtue signalling. The above quoted post was nowhere near the same thing. I’m not sure why that’s not obvious but I’ll explain anyway. The OP specifically asked for advice, it involved a contemporary situation and the OP wasn’t mourning a death. ---
**Author:** ![Atamasama](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atamasama/32/12961_2.png) [@Atamasama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atamasama)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2019, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073/20 "2019-08-02T19:44:03Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Yeah. Why not? This is why it’s disgusting to use a pejorative term like “safe space” to describe abstinence from needling a person about the viability of their grief, when that is grief over someone they cared about who passed away. So what if you think they had a shallow reason to care about that person? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarre-warning-issued/838073.md?page=2)