# Bizarro SDMB **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 22, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073 "2000-03-22T15:06:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/1 "2000-03-22T15:06:00Z")
The thread about the LBMB said that it’s like a Bizarro, alternate-universe version of us, probably overseen by a Cecil lookalike with a goatee. Alright—game time! Let’s post as our Bizarro exact opposites! Anyone wanna start? ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/2 "2000-03-22T15:18:00Z")
I like Celine Dion. Guitars suck. American Football is the best sport ever. I drink lemonade when I post at night. I am not all that intelligent, really. 😃 * * * **Coldfire** _Voted **Poster Most Likely To Post Drunk** _ * * * _ **"You know how complex women are"** _ - Neil Peart, **Rush** (1993) ---
**Author:** ![idiotboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@idiotboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/idiotboy)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/3 "2000-03-22T15:22:00Z")
would that make me “smartboy”? But I would have to act like an idiot, right? 😃 * * * Roots&Radicals, -ldiot8oy [JerkWaterJive](http://mp3.com/jerkwaterjive) …Ska and Punk never tasted so good together! ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/4 "2000-03-22T15:22:00Z")
“No, you’re probably right. I’m most likely wrong. I’m usually wrong about everything. I’m so sorry if I offended you.” That really applies to a Bizarro GD, but hey. How about this: on the Bizarro SBMB, Great Debates discuss mundate stuff, MPSIMS discusses religious matters and whether the Smurfs are Communists. * * * DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour. BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/5 "2000-03-22T15:24:00Z")
So I was, like, sittin’ around with David B. and Poly, smokin’ some weed, y’know—good stuff!—and listening to some def new party mix, and I thought, hey—with the weed and the 'ludes, I really CAN see what’s in this Jesus stuff! So now, no more sex, no more dope—I’m joinin’ the convent, man. Sister Genocide, that’s the name Cardinal O’Connor gave me when I took the vows. Gave away my TV and all my videos—worldly stuff, man, y’know? But jeez, I’ll miss that weed. It was PRIMO. ---
**Author:** ![YHVH](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@YHVH](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YHVH)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/6 "2000-03-22T15:24:00Z")
I am the most popular poster. * * * I giveth…and I taketh away ---
**Author:** ![Glitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/0ea827/32.png) [@Glitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glitch)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/7 "2000-03-22T15:52:00Z")
The true key to martial arts mastery is kata. Those who practice kata and nothing else even if only once or twice a week will be true wrecking machines on the street against hardened criminals unprepared for the devasting “Hammer of Thor” techniques developed over the centuries by the ancient karate masters. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/8 "2000-03-22T15:59:00Z")
Everybody thinks Dawson’s the hottie, but Pacie is way cooler. BACKSTREET BOYS RULE!!! * * * Teacher, my red crayon tastes funny – Ralph Wiggum ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/9 "2000-03-22T16:28:00Z")
um, Biggirl, I believe the correct spelling is “Rulzzzzz!” You forgot to include “ohmigod, AJ is such a hottie!” (it’s OK, my little sister is 15. I KNOW these things.) ---
**Author:** ![Cowboy\_Greg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Cowboy\_Greg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cowboy_Greg)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/10 "2000-03-22T16:33:00Z")
Uh, yeah, so y’know, us computer 31337 use Windows 'cause it’s so cool, and it doesn’t suck! Bill Gates roolz, dudez! Aieeee! No! I just can’t do it! ::banging head on keyboard:: 😉 * * * A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/11 "2000-03-22T17:03:00Z")
Bizarro UncleBeer = Al Gore. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/12 "2000-03-22T17:18:00Z")
Bizarro Esprix = Pat Robertson, only without the agonizingly repressed homosexuality. Esprix * * * [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/13 "2000-03-22T17:39:00Z")
Bizarro Mullinator = a small minority woman that believes in liberal principles, thinks sports are a waste of time, and can’t possible understand the need or desire o spend time posting something on a message board. * * * We went right out there and refused to do accoustical versions of the electrical songs that we had refused to record in the first place. ---
**Author:** ![Dirty\_Devil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Dirty\_Devil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Devil)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/14 "2000-03-22T17:44:00Z")
Hey Coldfire, you forgot to mention that big ol’ American Chevy that you drive 😉 As for me, I’ve renounced all ties with the Grateful Dead (I’ve even burned my “Is it live, or is it Dead?” t-shirt)and will now start focusing more on Amy Grant and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Oh, joy! * * * She said: “I know you and you cannot sing.” I said: “That’s nothing - you should hear me play piano.” ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2000, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/15 "2000-03-22T17:47:00Z")
In Bizarro SDMB (would it be “BMDS?”) I am Dr. Laura Schechenger. I know I spelled the name wrong, and I don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/16 "2000-03-23T06:12:00Z")
My Bizzaro opposite is a sweet and chaste, kind and gentle young woman whose greatest pleasure is pleasing others. She gets great personal satisfaction from household chores because she sees a sparkling toilet as her crowning achievement. She’s embarrassed when she becomes frustrated enough to utter such expletives as “heck” or “darn” ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/17 "2000-03-23T06:22:00Z")
**Beer Sucks!** ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/18 "2000-03-23T06:38:00Z")
You know, that Satan guy is a real bastard. ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/19 "2000-03-23T06:39:00Z")
\<== young, thin, stupid! * * * “I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the budy, until I realized who was telling me that.” Emo Phillips ---
**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2000, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073/20 "2000-03-23T06:41:00Z")
\<== misspells sig line! * * * “I used to think the brain was the most important organ in the body, until I realized who was telling me that.” Emo Phillips [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizarro-sdmb/15073.md?page=2)