# Bizzare text messages **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 31, 2001, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103 "2001-08-31T12:41:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JamesGrey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/258eb7/32.png) [@JamesGrey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JamesGrey)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/1 "2001-08-31T12:41:25Z")
I’ve just bought a mobile phone. None of my friends yet know I have one, so I was wondering if any Dopers have any good ‘bizzare’ text messages that I can send to just confuse my friends? ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/2 "2001-08-31T12:52:48Z")
How about: “They’ve landed. Get to the meeting point immediately, bring all tactical gear. -M” ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/3 "2001-08-31T13:23:24Z")
“Have set up in woods behind house but do not know how we’re going to make this look like an accident. Please advise. - Raoul” ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/4 "2001-08-31T13:30:49Z")
“hello, beautiful/handsome” or maybe, “um… 'scuse me… your _insert whatever you like here_ is showing…” or, “wake up _friend’s name_. the matrix has you” _sniggers evilly_ what fun… ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/5 "2001-08-31T13:31:03Z")
ALL DONE. BYE BYE. ---
**Author:** ![TheNerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/858c86/32.png) [@TheNerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheNerd)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/6 "2001-08-31T13:43:17Z")
I still like “BATTERY LOW”, if you’re sending it to their phone or beeper. Send it every half hour. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/7 "2001-08-31T13:45:22Z")
“Disregard Previous Message” Simple but elegant, and potentially disturbing… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/8 "2001-08-31T13:55:00Z")
“Ring-ring” \ “Ring-ring” \ “Why won’t you answer your phone?” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/9 "2001-08-31T14:00:16Z")
Ouryay inelay isway appedtay. ---
**Author:** ![Rosebud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rosebud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosebud)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/10 "2001-08-31T14:00:25Z")
“Alas, Babylon!” ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/11 "2001-08-31T14:05:39Z")
“Hi, Opal.” ---
**Author:** ![postcards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8e8cbc/32.png) [@postcards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/postcards)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/12 "2001-08-31T14:09:10Z")
When my wife first got a beeper with text messaging on it, it had its own email address. I used to love to send several paragraphs of total nonsense, just to imagine her sittingthere, scrolling and scrolling and scrolling… …it only had a two line display. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/13 "2001-08-31T15:40:47Z")
“All your base are belong to us!!!” ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/14 "2001-08-31T15:44:26Z")
u want baseball bat in your ass? ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/15 "2001-08-31T15:46:19Z")
“SECURE LINE ACTIVE. GOOD MORNING MR PRESIDENT. PLEASE ENTER NUCLEAR CODES NOW…” ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/16 "2001-08-31T15:52:45Z")
URGENT. SEND IN THE CLOWNS. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/17 "2001-08-31T15:53:48Z")
SOMEONE LEFT THE CAKE OUT IN THE RAIN ---
**Author:** ![Airbeck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/airbeck/32/6574_2.png) [@Airbeck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airbeck)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/18 "2001-08-31T16:21:59Z")
“Ground control to Major Tom …” ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/19 "2001-08-31T16:26:37Z")
STOP WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO DO FROM [friends name goes here] ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2001, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103/20 "2001-08-31T17:49:52Z")
(friend’s name) THIS IS GOD. HEED AND OBEY MY WORD. YOU MUST COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING GREAT WORK IN MY NAME…(various scavenger-hunt type tasks should be placed here) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bizzare-text-messages/79103.md?page=2)