Msmith this is just ridiculous. Surely we have as common ground the idea that bullying involves intent to intimidate or cause physical harm. In this semi-real world of names known only by reputation do you really think my calling you a ‘flaming assmonkey’ was meant to indimidate. Do you think I was picturing you cowering under the immense power of my words? NO. I was calling you an assmonkey because you are behaving like one. There is no irony, just you acting like an asshole.
In the story I told above I, and others, were beaten by eighteen year old counselors when we were twelve years old. If you think the solution was for us to go Lord of the Flies on them you are living in a dream world.
As for the daily torment bullies unleash on their victims you show even less sense of what it is like. There are some sad facts to face.
First, kids are often bullied because they don’t have as many friends as the bullies. You expect them to call on some geek army for protection?
Second, every kid who has been bullied has been told to just fight back. Every message sent to them is that they are the ‘pussies’ as you so elegantly put it, because they can’t stop their own torment. Hell of a solution you have there. Every kid who is out numbered, under strength, or just afraid appreciates your attitude.
Every person who is bullied seeks desperately for a solution. For me, that meant verbally mocking my tormentors for the most part. When I had the physical advantage I went for the ones I could take out. As a guy I had a fighting chance. Most girls bullied by boys never have that chance.
Please take your macho bullshit about Brazilian kickboxing and shove it up your ass.
“Tastes great”/“Less filling” is a disagreement. Assertions made by people about things they are clearly clueless about deserve derision.
fruitbat’s reply is good, but I’d like to go furthur:
Unlikely. The person chosen likely has problems finding friends; it won’t help that anyone thinking about it would likely become a target too. As “snapping”, I’m freaking laughing here. You think that’s a good thing? Here’s a clue: when it happens to adults, it shows up in the paper with the word “postal” in the headline. Doesn’t sound so great now, does it?
msmith537, I don’t give a fuck if some kid has buck teeth, cokebottle glasses, a lisp, a degree in astronomy and a bowl cut. You can shove your “complex relationship” shit up your ass too.
I saw that movie too.
There’s a difference between being assertive and being abusive. If I say you’re a retard, that’s abusive. If I claim you’re full of shit (as I do), that’s being assertive.
In case it’s not clear, I’ll summarize: It is clear from your posts that, regarding this topic, you have no fucking clue. None.
No, just the impotent lashing out of an immature child. Look, don’t get mad at me. I’m not the one who beat you up when you were little. Oh and by the way, ass, it is “bullying”. Bullying does not have to be physical. What would you call it if someone got in your face in real life and started shouting down your comments with obsecenities? What are trying to do? Impress me with an intellectual argument? No…you are hoping to somehow hurt my feelings by calling me names…and it worked:(
What it all boils down to is:
a) You can’t control the bully
b) You can’t expect someone to be there to protect you (half the time, the people who are supposed to be watching out for you are just there as a power trip)
c) You can only control you
so…now that I have explained that to you, what do you expect of the rest of the world? No…no one deserves to be abused or beaten. But it happens. It is up to the victim to take action to take themselves out of the situation. You can hide behind “no one deserves it” all you want, but that doesn’t help anyone.
Look…you asked for a way of “dealing with bullying”. You either avoid them, make yourself less appealing a target or you fight back. I mean really, what else do you do? I never said there was an easy solution.
Not all bullying is physical. When I was in 6th and 7th grade I was taunted for being taller than everyone else, boys and girls, and having developed breasts by one boy with a Napoleonic complex. I was tall and attractive, but I didn’t like him back and so he decided to humiliate me for 2 years.
I had plenty of friends, other vulnerable adolescent girls like me. The first one who tried to tell him to knock it off also became a victim of his bullying and verbal abuse.
I wasn’t a bully magnet or a pariah by any means. But when one kid is picking on another and getting laughs, it’s natural for the other kids to want to be on the winning side. Standing up for what’s right takes far more courage and empathy for others than the typical child possesses.
Your statement makes no sense. The school will punish you for fighting, they generally don’t care what the reason is. As for your parents, I know that I was pretty embarrassed about what was happening to me, and the last people with whom I wanted to discuss my problems with boys and my body image was my parents.
Your responses show that you are completely talking out of your ass. But perhaps as a 6th grade girl I should have taken up Brazilian kickboxing. Oh, but wait, now I remember! Once I did try being physical, and I pushed my tormentor really hard. Guess what happened? He ended calling me a “brute” and a “gorilla” for several months. Boy, that worked well. It really helped my self-image of the woman I was becoming to be called names like that.
That sucks and all but you aren’t any diferent from anyone else. I’m sure just about everyone has been bullied at some point in their life. I always had a hard time growing up because I was bigger, stronger, better looking and more athletic and…ok that part I made up. I do remember in 4th grade, this one girl used to give me a hard time every day on the schoolbus. What the fuck am I supposed to do about that? Kick her ass? Oooo I beat up a girl…that’s what they’d say. Where’s my shoulder to cry on!
it does make sense. I don’t care if the school “punishes” me with detention or suspension or whatever. I do care if my parents punish me, which they would not if I got into a fight that I did not start. Understand now?
Look…I don’t know how girls deal with bully issues. I’m sorry if some guy pulled your pigtails in junior high.
Believe me, that is not what happened. But I’m not going to waste my time explaining to you what 2 years of public commentary about an adolescent girl’s body can do to her psyche and ability to relate to boys during her teen years. If you want to continue to be as insensitive as possible, that is your right. Enjoy yourself.
For a variety of reasons.
Because they look different.
Because they’re new.
Because they’re smarter than the rest of the class.
Because they have different interests.
Need I go on?
Now that’s just rude.
Like Miabella, I was taunted by one boy for having developed the first set of breasts.
It was fucking awful and, frankly, I don’t appreciate your dismissive attitude.
I was coming to terms with my own developing sexuality and to be branded a slut and tormented daily because my body was changing on me was hardly the equivalent of having my hair pulled.
I’m dismayed that a supposedly rationale adult would continue to spew the asinine “the victim must have asked for it” rhetoric
Look msmith I don’t want to get into a name calling competition. It is clear to me, and I would guess most of the others who have posted in this thread, that you have had no experience with being bullied.
I find it hard to understand how you can casually dismiss people who have been tormented as ‘pussies’. You seem to think you have discovered a solution to the problem that no one has ever thought of before. It seems to involve Brazilian jujitsu or some such nonsense.
I only hope you are never in a position with responsiblity over children. If one of them is being tormented and all you can do to help is tell them ‘not to be a pussy’, then I feel pity for them for turning to you.