# Black Jewish Lesbian Republicans ONLY **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 18, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429 "2001-04-18T15:01:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/1 "2001-04-18T15:01:29Z")
Also, no airline pilots, no automobile mechanics, no people with bald spots on the backs of their legs. No cat lovers, no plumbers, no fucking civil engineers. No Duke fans, no Schlitz drinkers, no people who wear John Lennon glasses, and absolutely no one who likes that idiotic TV show, The Weakest Link. (Hell, that _show_ is the weakest link in the TV schedule.) People who eat lobster, stay away. People who buy those weird flavors of Kool Aid, outta here! (Cherry and grape are okay, obviously.) People who prefer Yamaha over Suzuki, get the hell out. Weirdos who prefer Miracle Whip over mayonnaise, don’t even _think_ about it. Go away, Faye. Leave, Steve. Piss off, Christophe. Fade, Wade. Fly, Di. Depart, Bart. Sally? Go forth! (Sallies don’t even deserve a rhyme. Who the hell would name their kid Sally? Why not Dick? Why not Great Whore Jezebel?) No people with multi-line signatures, no people who hang their toilet paper the wrong way, no menstruating women, and no phlegmatic temperaments. No Indians, no Icelanders, and nobody, I mean nobody, from Malaysia. Is that it? I reckon that about covers it. Oh, wait a minute… **No friggin’ moderators** except Ed Zotti, Tuba Diva, Gaudere, David B, Arnold Winkelried, C K Dexter Haven, Manhattan, Chronos, JillGat, Czarcasm, TVeblen, Eutychus55, UncleBeer, Coldfire, Lynn Bodoni, Alphagene, and John Corrado! But none o’ the other ones! ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/2 "2001-04-18T15:41:40Z")
Okay, also, no people who view without posting. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/3 "2001-04-18T15:51:28Z")
Woohoo. A clan of people that I can relate to, finally. However, I must be certain. What is the correct way to hang toilet paper? I don’t want to waste your time or mine if you’ve got it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/4 "2001-04-18T15:58:39Z")
No Maltese men. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/5 "2001-04-18T16:00:23Z")
Oh, fer cryin’ out loud… over the top, man. Over the friggin’ top. People who pull toilet paper from the rear are, well, you know… let’s just say oriented differently. And people who hang it vertically??? Oh, the shame! ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/6 "2001-04-18T16:07:29Z")
Back in high school, some friends of mine wanted to create a club so they could get together and goof off during the monthly “club time”. They called their organization the Disabled Black Jewish Lesbians for Puerto Rican Statehood. Dr. J ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/7 "2001-04-18T16:31:12Z")
No people who [disagreed with me](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1262561#post1262561) in the **Why does religion make us so uncomfortable** thread. No people who wax nostalgic about high school. And, come to think of it, no people who have to ask what’s the right way to hang toilet paper, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/8 "2001-04-18T16:42:47Z")
I went to high school with a kid who was half Vietnamese and half West Virginian. He called himself “purple” (instead of black, white, Asain or whatever). He used to run around screaming about “purple power” and how all us whiteys were the devil. He vowed that he was going to find other purples and they would then revolt. He was a pretty funny kid. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/9 "2001-04-18T16:50:44Z")
Thanks to lagging boards, I didn’t know my waxing was not welcome before I posted. Or maybe I did it on purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/10 "2001-04-18T17:09:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*And, come to think of it, no people who have to ask what’s the right way to hang toilet paper, dammit. \*\* Hey, I know how to hang toilet paper correctly. Believe you me, I hang toilet paper with the best of them. How was I to know that **you** weren’t a dreaded rear paper hanger? ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/11 "2001-04-18T17:44:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by adam yax \* > \*\*How was I to know that **you** weren’t a dreaded rear paper hanger? \*\* You mean people with toilet paper hanging out of their rears? I hate those guys, too… ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/12 "2001-04-18T17:47:25Z")
No people who complain about board speed or feign ignorance about waxing. No people who accuse me of rear-hanging. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/13 "2001-04-18T17:55:13Z")
No people named after string instruments. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/14 "2001-04-18T18:02:31Z")
Well it looks like I’m still in. There is only one thing that would make this club perfect…No libertarians, nobody with any political affiliations whatsoever. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/15 "2001-04-18T19:00:24Z")
What about people who don’t know what “ROFLMAO” and “YMMV” mean? Fuckers. I hate them. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/16 "2001-04-18T20:46:53Z")
No people who can’t take a hint. No friggin’ AUs (acronym users). ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/17 "2001-04-18T20:58:33Z")
And for the love of God, absolutely **no** elected members of a federal, or state, legislature. You city council members are probably okay, though. It’s likely I can afford to _buy_ a couple of you guys if I really need to shut you up. ---
**Author:** ![Kamandi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5daacb/32.png) [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/18 "2001-04-18T22:16:17Z")
No foreigners who could maybe _pass_ for American. Y’know, those sneaky folks who look and sound a-l-m-o-s-t like good old red-blooded yankees. You know who I’m talking about. Shiftless Canadian bastards. Get lost…(eh). And no lefties. ---
**Author:** ![Amedeus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de0a6/32.png) [@Amedeus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amedeus)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/19 "2001-04-18T22:38:21Z")
I, of course, have my toilet paper going the right direction. All 1380 rolls of it. ---
**Author:** ![Amedeus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de0a6/32.png) [@Amedeus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amedeus)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429/20 "2001-04-18T22:39:42Z")
And none of those people that double post either, urgh, why can’t you just say everything in one message! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/black-jewish-lesbian-republicans-only/62429.md?page=2)