# Bleak day here- how bout some Seinfeld quotes! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 18, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033 "2004-06-18T13:33:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/1 "2004-06-18T13:33:14Z")
(Re: Newman) Elaine: Maybe he’s an enigma. You know- a riddle wrapped in a mystery. Jerry: Yeah. He’s a riddle wrapped in a _twinkie._ ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/2 "2004-06-18T13:39:52Z")
Kramer: “Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint - it’s delicious!” ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/3 "2004-06-18T13:41:46Z")
> [@BiblioCat](#): > > Kramer: “Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint - it’s delicious!” Jerry: “That’s true.” Kramer: “It’s _very_ refreshing!” ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/4 "2004-06-18T13:48:28Z")
Jerry: “Let me finish my coffee. Then we’ll go watch 'em slice this fat bastard up.” 😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Gail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Gail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gail)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/5 "2004-06-18T13:54:52Z")
(TV guide fan on the subway): e-LAINE! Not that there’s anything wrong with that! ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/6 "2004-06-18T14:02:00Z")
Jerry: “What about the panting, the moaning, the groaning, the screaming?” Elaine: “Fake, fake, fake, fake.” ---
**Author:** ![Agrippina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8797f3/32.png) [@Agrippina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agrippina)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/7 "2004-06-18T14:31:35Z")
From the episode “The Bris” (I love the sub-plot about the Pig Man): KRAMER: Wait wait George. You got room in the car for the pig-man huh? GEORGE: The pig-man can take the bus. KRAMER: George, if the pig-man had a car, he would give you a ride. GEORGE: How do you know? What if pig-man had a two-seater? KRAMER: Be realistic George. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/8 "2004-06-18T14:37:56Z")
Shamelessly stolen from IMDB: George Costanza: Kramer goes to a fantasy camp? His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down $2000 to live like him for a week. Sleep, do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors and have sex without dating… THAT’S a fantasy camp. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/9 "2004-06-18T15:03:55Z")
George: “Oh no, I’m sorry, but it’s “The Moops”. “Moops” is the correct answer.” ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/10 "2004-06-18T15:42:40Z")
Elaine to Jerry who has just done one more selfish thing. “Just when I think you reached bottom, you manage to drain a little more out of the tank.” ---
**Author:** ![Kid\_A\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Kid\_A\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_A_1)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/11 "2004-06-18T16:15:28Z")
KID: I want a racing car set. KRAMER: Ho ho ho ho. A racing car set! Those are assembled in Taiwan by kids like you. And these Coleman pigs, they sell it at triple the cost. KID: But I want a racing car set. KRAMER: You see kid, you’re being bamboozled. These capitalist fat cats are inflating the profit margin and reducing your total number of toys. KID: Hey, this guy’s a COMMIE! ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/12 "2004-06-18T16:42:06Z")
“The only thing between him and us is a thin layer of gabardine.” ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/13 "2004-06-18T16:51:13Z")
George: The sea was angry that day my friend - like an old man trying to return soup at a deli. Jackie Childs: Who told you to put a balm on? Did I tell you to put a balm on? Kramer: I’m Cosmo Kramer, the Ass Man. Misc: Serenity now…serenity now… No soup for you! ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/14 "2004-06-18T17:00:24Z")
Was that wrong? ## Mulva? Kramer: Ha ha, the Ukraine. Do you know what the Ukraine is? It’s a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It’s feeble. I think it’s time to put the hurt on the Ukraine. Ukrainian: I come from Ukraine. You not say Ukraine weak. Kramer: Yeah, well we’re playing a game here, pal. Ukrainian: Ukraine is game to you?! How 'bout I take your little board and smash it!! The Ukrainian pounds the game board, destroying it and sending army pieces flying. ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/15 "2004-06-18T17:20:28Z")
Moil: “Thank God the flincher didn’t hurt the baby!” ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/16 "2004-06-18T18:20:48Z")
George’s mother: “I’m out there.” George: “You’re NOT out there. Because _I’m_ out there and if I thought for one minute that _you’re_ out there, there wouldn’t be enough voltage in the universe to jolt me back into coherency!” ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/17 "2004-06-18T18:25:19Z")
George Costanza: “Remember, Jerry. It isn’t a lie, if you believe it.” Ad man, commenting on Kramer’s audition for an underwear ad: “His buttocks are sublime.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/18 "2004-06-18T18:29:30Z")
Who?!? Who does not want to wear thee ribbon?!? We’re living in a society! These pretzels are making me thirsty. I walk in to find my son treating his body like an amusement park! Cartwright? Cartwright? ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/19 "2004-06-18T18:57:32Z")
Get out!!! Serenity now!!! I could drop you like a sack of dirt. It means whatever the hell you want it to mean. You hate the Drake? Shrinkage!!! ---
**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/20 "2004-06-18T19:05:25Z")
_Uncle Leo:_ I ordered this rare! I bet the cook is an anti-Semite. _Jerry:_ Fine, can we get back to what we were talking about before Goebbels back there made your sandwich? _Sid Farcus:_ I know I myself could use some support. I’ve noticed. . . when I wear banlon. There seems to be some jiggling. _Frank:_ I wouldn’t be caught dead in banlon. _Frank:_ You, uh. . . know about cup sizes? _George:_ Yeah. I know about the cup sizes. _Frank:_ You got your A. . . your B. . . your C. . . your D. That’s the biggest. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033.md?page=2)