# Bleak day here- how bout some Seinfeld quotes!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 18, 2004, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033 "2004-06-18T13:33:14Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Mal\_Adroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@Mal\_Adroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mal_Adroit)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/21 "2004-06-18T19:16:00Z")

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_Kramer:_ And you can just forget about watching TV while you’re eating! Because then, it’s _dinnertime._ And you know what you do at dinnertime?  
_Jerry:_ No.  
_Kramer:_ You talk about your day!

Newman: Jerry, sometimes I ask myself: why must this gulf exist between us?  
Jerry: I’m not the one doing the cooking, Newman.  
Newman: Damn you, Seinfeld, you _useless pustule._

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/22 "2004-06-18T19:16:05Z")

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George: All I want is something just for me. Is that so selfish?  
Jerry: Actually, that’s the definition of selfish.  
Jerry: Unemployment. People complain about there not being enough jobs. We’ve got plenty of jobs available; the problem is we have too many people who are way too fastidious for their own good. “I may be unemployed, my wife and kids may be starving, but I’m not pickin’ _that_ up!”

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/23 "2004-06-18T20:30:36Z")

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Am I crazy, or is that a lotta gum?  
It’s a lotta gum!

This is our top of the line wheelchair. It’s almost like you’re happy to be handicapped.

What are you doing?  
Making sausages.  
I thought you were going to watch a video.  
Yeah, a video about making sausages.

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**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\
**Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/24 "2004-06-18T22:32:23Z")

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Elaine: George is _guarding_ the suit?

Kramer: Is that a Titleist?

Peterman (wording approximate): Elaine, do you have any idea of what happens to cream-based pastry when it’s been sitting in a dank English castle for a half-century? … What you’re about to go through will most assuredly be punishment enough!

George: I’m bald, I’m unemployed, and I live with my parents!  
Hot Babe: How do you do? I’m Victoria!

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**Author:** ![Lady\_Kate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/aca169/32.png) [@Lady\_Kate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_Kate)\
**Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/25 "2004-06-19T00:55:35Z")

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“Ya gotta come see the BAAAY-bee!”

* * *

George: “Elaine, do you know about shrinkage?”

Elaine: “What, like laundry?”

* * *

Newman: “When you control the mail, you control information.”

* * *

Frank: “A Festivus for the rest of us!”

* * *

Estelle: “Frank, if Aunt Baby were alive today, how old would she be?”

Frank: “She’d never make it.”

* * *

Elaine: “STELLLLAHHHH!”

* * *

Kramer: “There’s always been something very strange about Jerry. Always so clean and organized.”

* * *

George: “Nobody drives like me. Nobody. I’m doing things in this car, you have no idea they’re going on.”

* * *

Jerry: “She had man-hands!”

I _really_ like Seinfeld. :rolleyes:

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**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\
**Post date:** [June 19, 2004, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bleak-day-here-how-bout-some-seinfeld-quotes/251033/26 "2004-06-19T01:53:53Z")

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“It?”  
“It.”  
“Out?”  
“Out”

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