# Blowing the whistle on a facebook friend **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 21, 2012, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665 "2012-11-21T01:19:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/41 "2012-11-21T06:39:05Z")
The more I think about this, the more I think that if saw this pop up on my facebook page, I would just ignore it (like I do most of the other stuff I see on facebook) if I were as far removed as the OP is from the person who did it. The only way I’d likely get involved is if it were a close friend. Someone who was close enough that I could just pick up the phone and call them to tell them it was likely a bad idea (because someone might report them to the company). Beyond that, I’d just leave it alone, stay out of it and let whatever happens happen. I’ve found that when you try to prevent drama you tend to get sucked into it. It’s best to observe it from far away. But I wouldn’t feel bad for someone who was reprimanded over something like this and I wouldn’t blame someone who sent the company a screen shot of it. ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/42 "2012-11-21T06:49:46Z")
I don’t know why people always respond to things in such an extreme way. These look like the actions of someone who acted carelessly one time, and whose actions are unlikely to even have consequences. Telling on your friend is the nuclear option. There are so many smaller, more proportional steps you can take before you have to resort to that. And even if their behavior became bad enough to justify that, they should be given the warning that if they behave a certain way again what you will do. A preventive action is much more helpful than a punitive one. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/43 "2012-11-21T07:11:54Z")
> [@smaje1](#): > > She works at a social security disability firm, and today she went on a mini-rant about a client who apparently has had a rather obscene number of abortions. No names were mentioned, but very private info such as number of children, number of miscarriages, and of course, number of abortions. All of the facebook friends rallied alongside her. I’m not sure OP is really asking the underlying right question, and accordingly nobody had really answered it either. The above-quoted snippet seems to imply that the employee is laying some heavy personal judgment on the client there. A mini-rant? “obscene” number of abortions? Sounds like the employee is going on a religious rant against the irresponsible, licentious, immoral, ungodly baby-killing client. This sort of echoes a debate that gets in the news from time to time: Should nurses who are personally pro-life and anti-abortion participate in abortions? (Should the be required to?) The general consensus (and the laws, at least) seem to be that a professional service provider should keep a strict wall of separation between one’s personal views and one’s professional activities. This is especially so in the medical services field. Similarly, would this employee rant about a client with AIDS, queer homo pervert that he is? Is there some religious or otherwise personal judgmentalism going on here? Or is that Facebook post just mindless idle gossip? I get the drift here that OP’s cousin’s gf needs to learn to do her job professionally and keep her personal views and judgments out of the office. And conversely, she needs to learn that what happens in the office stays in the office. ( **Qadgop the Mercotan** excepted, of course! 😛 ) I’d suggest that OP should try to have this conversation with cousin’s gf, if (as OP points out), a discreet and tactful way can be found to do so. Forget about ratting to the company though. Yeah, that’s serious dickish. (ETA: Like **jackdavinci** said – that’s the nuclear option.) ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/44 "2012-11-21T14:42:23Z")
If it was a friend I’d call them and say take that shit down, what are you thinking? Not such a friend, then maybe I’d call a mutual friend and voice my opinion to them. If it continued I’d restrict that persons visibility on my fb page - what an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/45 "2012-11-21T14:54:10Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > FINE, I’ll ask. How many abortions has she had? _sigh_ Well, you did your best. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/46 "2012-11-21T15:06:49Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > If nobody knows the woman’s name, how is it possibly a breach of confidentiality? If it’s not a breach of confidentiality then she won’t get in trouble. If, however, she has done something wrong, her workplace deserves to know about it. I would have no qualms about informing a workplace about their information being spread on facebook. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/47 "2012-11-21T15:15:30Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > This seems like quite a stretch. How is simply hearing about “a woman with 3 kids” enough to tip someone off, _Ahh-haa!_, it must be Mary! ? This is part of the problem. For all we know the FB post is a total, made up LIE, and you can’t prove it’s anyone in particular. But 10 women fitting the description are now hearing about this and getting ready to try to sue. THAT’S a problem. And that’s why you don’t share that stuff with the public. And yep, there are several reasons to tell the cousin to check his girl as far as this is concerned. Everything from accusations of bigotry, breach of professionalism, getting fired, and just lack of class. SOMEone should tell her; clearly her friends aren’t doing her any favors, so her boyfriend…or someone…should. ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/48 "2012-11-21T15:16:09Z")
> [@jackdavinci](#): > > Telling people that they have misunderstandings and are short sighted isn’t terribly helpful unless you follow up by giving the correct information and telling them what other issues they have overlooked. I was going to write “what the heck are you talking about” to that poster, but yeah. I vote 1. Mind your own business. But I would also add that the OP should block her if her stories offend. As far as reporting her? Wow. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/49 "2012-11-21T15:30:06Z")
Step back. You are not her Mom. She’s already raised up. She’s not your child and your job is not to educate her, or instruct her, now, or ever. I too am stunned you’d consider reporting her, that seems awfully cruel, to me. If she has done something she’ll regret, or eventually cost her a job, those are consequences she earned. She deserves to learn her own lessons without interference from you. Step back. ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/50 "2012-11-21T17:04:37Z")
First off, I never said I was going to report her actions – I just said that was one of my options. I hope that this (or something like it) comes back to bite her in the ass. I’ve been in the workplace long enough to know that you do NOT post details like that about your workplace on facebook. I think that’s what shocked me so much in the first place! I work for a big company and I have to be soooo careful about anything I post about the company or its products – and I would never consider it proper to post anything about our clients! And yes, I would have been as upset if the conversation had been about the clients diabetes or hypertension – because she was not just pointing out a fact, she was adding her own judgement and mocking the person. Consider the controversy (and subsequent unpaid leave) surrounding the woman who posted a photo of herself mocking the Tomb of the Unknowns at Arlignton Cemetery: [http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/national-international/NATL-DC-Facebook-Firestorm-After-Woman-Shares-Mocking-Arlington-Photo-180343151.html](http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/national-international/NATL-DC-Facebook-Firestorm-After-Woman-Shares-Mocking-Arlington-Photo-180343151.html) Honestly, it doesn’t matter how “private” your facebook setting are – someone (a friend!) can always grab a screenshot and send it to your company or post it elsewhere. And boom! There goes your job. As a friend, I thought it might be fair to clue her in on things like this. But another part of me feels that if she’s going to say such inappropriate things about people who are coming to her company for help, that she deserves any backlash she might receive. ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/51 "2012-11-21T17:16:04Z")
Don’t inform her employer. It’s not an issue until someone makes it one, and informing her boss will likely get her fired. Tell her diplomatically that it could get her in trouble. Again, it isn’t an issue until someone makes it one, but if someone (other than the OP) informs her boss that she’s discussing case histories, and bad-mouthing clients on Facebook, she’ll likely get fired. She’s probably not revealing confidential info, but the appearance of doing so could badly hurt the agency she works for. OTOH, I always enjoy the **Qadgop** ’s stories of prison medicine here. I trust him to be aware of confidentiality issues and potential dangers to his own livelihood. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/52 "2012-11-21T17:25:25Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > If nobody knows the woman’s name, how is it possibly a breach of confidentiality? And why do you care? > [@Eliahna](#): > > Is it a breach of confidentiality if the person’s identity can’t be deduced from the information given? > [@Ambivalid](#): > > Um, right? I’m confused as to wtf the issue is here. > [@VinylTurnip](#): > > This is my question. Unless a) the woman’s identity can be determined or b) the comments will directly affect her eligibility to receive benefits, it’s a non-issue. Your cousin’s girlfriend is allowed to disapprove of recreational abortion if she wishes. > [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > She did not breach anyones confidentiality. At the very most I would mention to her possible risks and then let it go for good. You are talking about her livelyhood and jobs do not come easy, very serious stuff! > [@Enkel](#): > > If you don’t want to get her fired, I’d send a private message with something like: > > "Saw your post about xyz. Understand how it raises eyebrows, but wanted to warn you that the feds have been cracking down in the HIPAA stuff(_) and I know you didn’t reveal who it was, but your employer might be pretty upset if they happened to see your post and it only takes one busy body to send them a link and land you in hot water." > (_) this is true, the number of fines have been going up under the recent administration. > [@WhyNot](#): > > Would you be as upset if she was ranting about some unidentifiable person with diabetes, or hypertension, or is it specifically the topic of abortions that makes you uneasy? > > It’s not a HIPAA violation as I understand the law. It may violate some company confidentiality policy, however. > [@Ambivalid](#): > > What did she post that could POSSIBLY be used to identify this client? > [@Ambivalid](#): > > Anyone who could id her by knowing that stuff would have already known it though. Otherwise, how would that info alone be enough? > [@GuanoLad](#): > > It’s not a breach of confidentiality, but it also doesn’t seem like a good habit for her to get into so she should probably be advised to not do it again. It’d be fine as an interesting anecdte to share at a family barbecue, but not on so public a forum as Facebook. Or the SDMB, come to think of it. > [@Taomist](#): > > This is part of the problem. For all we know the FB post is a total, made up LIE, and you can’t prove it’s anyone in particular. > > But 10 women fitting the description are now hearing about this and getting ready to try to sue. THAT’S a problem. And that’s why you don’t share that stuff with the public. > > And yep, there are several reasons to tell the cousin to check his girl as far as this is concerned. Everything from accusations of bigotry, breach of professionalism, getting fired, and just lack of class. SOMEone should tell her; clearly her friends aren’t doing her any favors, so her boyfriend…or someone…should. Heavens to Betsy, folks… This is an employee at a law firm (since most SSA disability reps are lawyers) and the lawyers are obligated to see that their staff comply with the canons of legal ethics. Here is what the Model Rules have to say about confidentiality: > [@](#): > > A lawyer shall not reveal information relating to the representation of a client unless the client gives informed consent, the disclosure is impliedly authorized in order to carry out the representation or the disclosure is permitted by paragraph (b). Para. (b) is a bit lengthy, but suffice it to say, it does not authorize disclosure for the purposes of venting exasperation on Facebook. Notice that **IT DOES NOT MATTER** that the identity of the client cannot be ascertained. A lawyer, or his/her staffer, who obtains information from a client solely because of the representation, as is the case here—this client did not turn over her medical records as an exercise in exhibitionism, she did so because she and her attorney is required by the SSA to produce medical evidence—is not permitted further to disclose at all. Not: is not permitted further to disclose if the identity may be ascertained. NOT PERMITTED TO DISCLOSE AT ALL. Your cousin has made a _ **grievous error in judgment** _ and should be urged to remove the rant at once. The instant her employer catches wind that she has done this, she will be fired on the spot. The employer has no other choice, and failing to do so would expose him/her to disciplinary measures and possible sanction by the SSA. ---
**Author:** ![smaje1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@smaje1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaje1)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/53 "2012-11-21T17:29:54Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Your cousin has made a _ **grievous error in judgment** _ and should be urged to remove the rant at once. The instant her employer catches wind that she has done this, she will be fired on the spot. Thanks for the legal info, Kimmy\_Gibbler! ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/54 "2012-11-21T18:25:01Z")
I think most people agree that it’s a big mistake. The question is more on how to handle it. I’d think a message through FB should be enough. If it’s not, then she’s gonna get fired for being stupid eventually, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/55 "2012-11-21T21:11:28Z")
These things have a habit of unfolding into something that you never expected. What you do not know is if there has also been any other inappropriate behaviour that could be revealed in a future investigation. The reality is that this one breach may be indicative of other breaches of the rules. Should something else happen and an investigation shows that you may have been aware of a reportable issue, you may be held accountable for it. Right now you are asking us, but you need to check your company policies and protocols, many organisations now have a social media policy, if you send any communication about this matter to the person concerned - even a friendly warning - then you could be demonstrating that you had knowledge of this potentially reportable incident - so why didn’t you report it? In some types of organisation its not enough to not cross the line, its about not being seen to be challenging it, and protecting a much wider clientèle who must have a measure of trust. Only you can decide on your own personal standards and ethics, and how they relate to your obligations in your professional field. Yes, lots of folk skirt the borders of acceptability and are never hauled in. I have been in a position where I had to decide what to do, torn between loyalty to a colleague and the duties imposed by the workplace, and it was quite a grey area at first glance - not an obvious issues of say corruption etc. - it turned out that reporting the matter was actually beneficial to the colleague as that person was able to access help and support that he was simply not capable of requesting due to severe personal problems - in other words it unfolded into something I did not expect and could not have known at the time. I cannot recommend a correct course for you, it is a matter of your own principles and judgement, and either decision you make - even if it turns out to be the correct one - could cause to to feel anguish.Heads you lose, tails you come second. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/56 "2012-11-21T21:14:35Z")
smaje1 doesn’t work with the idiot girl. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/57 "2012-11-21T22:05:34Z")
No, but \*\*smaje1 \*\*is sortof-related to idiot girl, and if she’s blabbing on Facebook, then she’s very likely blabbing everywhere else also. Whether idiot girl thinks of this as a betrayal or not, someone needs to say something to somebody, so that idiot girl doesn’t end up on the hook for her company getting its pants sued off and taking it out on her specifically. If that means she needs to be fired and work as a cashier so she can blab about people’s grocery purchases on Facebook, then so be it. If she can’t learn to hold her tongue, she doesn’t \*\*need \*\*to work in a sensitive office environment. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/58 "2012-11-21T22:11:48Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > Whether idiot girl thinks of this as a betrayal or not, someone needs to say something to somebody, so that idiot girl doesn’t end up on the hook for her company getting its pants sued off and taking it out on her specifically. Do some of you people ever hear about something and then just shrug and say “not my prob”? ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2012, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/59 "2012-11-21T22:49:17Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Do some of you people ever hear about something and then just shrug and say “not my prob”? I do that, a lot. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2012, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665/60 "2012-11-22T01:04:22Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > If nobody knows the woman’s name, how is it possibly a breach of confidentiality? And why do you care? A friend of mine had a mini rant on FB about people wasting Emergency Department’s time (she’s an RN in ED) and was hauled up before her employer for a)bringing the profession of nursing into disrepute; b)bringing the hospital into disrepute; and/or c)bringing patients into disrepute. Frankly, I totally agreed with her rant and couldn’t see why she was given a formal warning but she was. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blowing-the-whistle-on-a-facebook-friend/641665.md?page=4)