# Blue Jay's Kevin Pillar says a bad word, gets crucified.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [May 19, 2017, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999 "2017-05-19T15:13:33Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/21 "2017-05-19T16:44:44Z")
> [@mhendo](#):
>
> Why don’t you just come out and say directly, “Get over it, gay people. It’s really not a big deal”? Because that’s clearly how you feel about the whole thing.
Actually no, not at all. I think that too many people who are NOT gay are taking offense on behalf of gay people. I honestly don’t think he meant the insult to be a slur against gays at all, he just said an insulting word and wasn’t thinking.
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### Author:  [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/22 "2017-05-19T16:45:07Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#):
>
> And that really should be enough. If someone is apologetic and contrite, that really is the best that can be hoped for. Anyone looking for more is an asshole.
I’m not sure I understand the objection to (relatively minor) consequences for misbehavior in the workplace. If one of my employees said this to a coworker, it would result in more than two days off.
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### Author:  [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/23 "2017-05-19T16:48:55Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> Actually no, not at all. I think that too many people who are NOT gay are taking offense on behalf of gay people. I honestly don’t think he meant the insult to be a slur against gays at all, he just said an insulting word and wasn’t thinking.
An _interesting_ choice of insults, right? Some of us live our whole lives without ever calling anyone a faggot, nigger or cunt. “Asshole” was created for situations like this.
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### Author:  [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/24 "2017-05-19T16:50:33Z")
> [@Typo\_Negative](#):
>
> And that really should be enough. If someone is apologetic and contrite, that really is the best that can be hoped for.
Exactly. As long as the pitcher accepts his apology, and it seems like he did, I haven’t read otherwise.
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### Author:  [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/25 "2017-05-19T16:52:30Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> So one of the Blue Jay’s best players has a brain-to-mouth glitch, says a bad word, is apologetic and contrite, apologizes personally to the other person, and apparently that’s not enough.
People rarely have “brain-to-mouth glitches” with words that _aren’t_ in their active vocabulary. He didn’t use a word that he doesn’t use regularly–he just accidentally used it in the wrong place. (It reminds me of the time Dick Army [accidentally called](http://www.nytimes.com/1995/01/28/us/no-2-house-leader-refers-to-colleague-with-anti-gay-slur.html) Barney Frank “Barney Fag” to the press, instead of behind his back as he normally must have.)
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### Author:  [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/26 "2017-05-19T16:53:49Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> Actually no, not at all. I think that too many people who are NOT gay are taking offense on behalf of gay people. I honestly don’t think he meant the insult to be a slur against gays at all, he just said an insulting word and wasn’t thinking.
It does not matter if he intended the insult to be a slur against gays. That’s not the point. Nothing near the point.
The point is, in our society, we do not use homophobic slurs against anyone, at any time, for any reason. We also don’t use ethnic or racial slurs. It’s simply not acceptable.
As has been pointed out, if this happened in a workplace, there would be consequences. As it happens, it DID happen in a workplace, and in a public place. Also, his employment involves providing entertainment to families. Families who, in general, do not approve of racial, ethnic OR homophobic slurs against ANYone, at ANY time. His employer has given him consequences. Pull up your big-boy pants and move on.
Pillar did the right thing by apologising. I’m sure he will learn from this that homophobic slurs are unacceptable in our society. Period.
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### Author:  [@Covfefe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covfefe)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/27 "2017-05-19T16:57:23Z")
> [@Crotalus](#):
>
> That didn’t seem like a quick pitch to me. WTF is he upset about?
It looked like the pitcher didn’t “come set”, meaning didn’t pause standing still before delivering the ball from the stretch.
Pillar should have complained to or tried to clarify with the umpire. Seeing how he struck out, doing so might have been too late to change the outcome or maybe his emotions got the better of him anyway.
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### Author:  [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/28 "2017-05-19T17:00:47Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> We all make mistakes and say things when upset that we regret. I don’t believe for one minute that he meant that insult in the horrific way that people are taking it, and I think that as grown-ass adults people should accept his sincere apologies and get back to letting him do his job.
>
> What are your thoughts?
>
> Actual gay people: are you personally offended? Does one guy playing a game affect your personal self-worth that much?
You don’t get to decide how offensive an insult is when it wasn’t directed at you.
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### Author:  [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/29 "2017-05-19T17:01:25Z")
> [@DeepLiquid](#):
>
> It continues the idea that gay people are “less than”, that makes it significant. In the heat of the moment the worst thing he could think of to call another man was faggot, because in his mind it is the worst thing you can be. So yeah, it impacts a population of people.
Serious answer : that would be true if he hadn’t apologized or the media collectively shrugged (or, worse, called the LGBT community a bunch of thin skinned sissies) about it.
I’d say the guy is, indeed, the \*product \*of an homophobic culture - because that’s what America still is. I wouldn’t agree that he perpetuates it, since he immediately and publicly apologized. As well, his suspension broadcasts the message that this is not acceptable behaviour (although to be fair I’d opine it’s less about “player is homophobe” and more “player insulted other player on the field”)
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### Author:  [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/30 "2017-05-19T17:03:48Z")
So did he call him a faggot or a cocksucker, or what? Sorry if I missed it but I scanned the article twice and didn’t see exactly what he said.
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/31 "2017-05-19T17:04:55Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> Actually no, not at all. I think that too many people who are NOT gay are taking offense on behalf of gay people. I honestly don’t think he meant the insult to be a slur against gays at all, he just said an insulting word and wasn’t thinking.
Speaking as a gay guy - fuck that dude, and fuck the bullshit, “He didn’t mean anything _anti-gay_ by it!” defense. You wouldn’t pull that crap if he’d call the guy a nigger.
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### Author:  [@Crotalus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crotalus)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/32 "2017-05-19T17:10:14Z")
> [@yezlles](#):
>
> It looked like the pitcher didn’t “come set”, meaning didn’t pause standing still before delivering the ball from the stretch.
> Pillar should have complained to or tried to clarify with the umpire. Seeing how he struck out, doing so might have been too late to change the outcome or maybe his emotions got the better of him anyway.
Thanks. It looks to me like he did set, very briefly. His bare hand and glove hand came together. These guys are such children.
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### Author:  [@DeepLiquid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeepLiquid)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/33 "2017-05-19T17:15:47Z")
> [@Kobal2](#):
>
> Serious answer : that would be true if he hadn’t apologized or the media collectively shrugged (or, worse, called the LGBT community a bunch of thin skinned sissies) about it.
> I’d say the guy is, indeed, the \*product \*of an homophobic culture - because that’s what America still is. I wouldn’t agree that he perpetuates it, since he immediately and publicly apologized. As well, his suspension broadcasts the message that this is not acceptable behaviour (although to be fair I’d opine it’s less about “player is homophobe” and more “player insulted other player on the field”)
Being the product of a culture does not mean you have to choose to embrace it as an adult. I was raised in a straight white military culture, the only part of that upbringing I retained was being white, as that part isn’t optional. Choosing to be a bigot as a grown man is something you control. He is, perhaps, learning as shown by the swift apology. I would be more inclined to believe he was a little apologetic and a lot damage control mode. Maybe he will grow from this, who knows.
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### Author:  [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/34 "2017-05-19T17:29:39Z")
Yes we are products of a homophobic and sexist culture. But the words that come out of your mouth when you are angry are almost never words that aren’t ok in your head. I myself, a white women from a conservative farming community, have never called someone a faggot. I have called other women bitch but never cunt I have trouble typing some of those words, even.
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### Author:  [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/35 "2017-05-19T17:49:35Z")
> [@yezlles](#):
>
> It looked like the pitcher didn’t “come set”, meaning didn’t pause standing still before delivering the ball from the stretch
That’s a balk. Take your base.
These rules have been laid down by our forefathers, and we must heed them.
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### Author:  [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/36 "2017-05-19T17:58:17Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> Exactly. As long as the pitcher accepts his apology, and it seems like he did, I haven’t read otherwise.
This is idiotic.
The insult is offensive not because of who it’s directed towards; it’s offensive because of what it says about the notion of homosexuality as an insult.
I’ll take **Miller** ’s assertion, a few posts up, and make it a question: Do you believe that, if someone insults another person by calling them a “nigger,” then the only person who has a right to be offended, and the only person who needs to accept the apology, is the person the word was directed at?
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### Author:  [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/37 "2017-05-19T18:05:05Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> Actually no, not at all. I think that too many people who are NOT gay are taking offense on behalf of gay people. I honestly don’t think he meant the insult to be a slur against gays at all, he just said an insulting word and wasn’t thinking.
Uh, how does calling someone a slur against gays somehow not result in a slur against gays?
How in the world do people make sense of such things?
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### Author:  [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/38 "2017-05-19T18:07:48Z")
> [@mhendo](#):
>
> This is idiotic.
>
> The insult is offensive not because of who it’s directed towards; it’s offensive because of what it says about the notion of homosexuality as an insult.
>
> I’ll take **Miller** ’s assertion, a few posts up, and make it a question: Do you believe that, if someone insults another person by calling them a “nigger,” then the only person who has a right to be offended, and the only person who needs to accept the apology, is the person the word was directed at?
I think so. Obviously anyone can think he’s an ass and choose to put him on real life ignore, but he was talking directly to one specific person and apologized to that person.
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### Author:  [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/39 "2017-05-19T18:19:51Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#):
>
> Actually no, not at all. I think that too many people who are NOT gay are taking offense on behalf of gay people. I honestly don’t think he meant the insult to be a slur against gays at all, he just said an insulting word and wasn’t thinking.
I’d be interested in knowing if you have read and taken in any of the posts after this, such as the ones by Miller, mhendo and DeepLiquid (and others). That is, do you understand their point, even if you don’t entirely accept it? Are you able to grasp how just one spur-of-the-moment insult can sting someone who is a member of a still-frequently-insulted minority? That there is a reason why this sort of thing is dealt with so severely in the workplace?
I don’t care two pins about professional sports or this particular player. What he said doesn’t affect me personally, I’m old enough to know better. But there are kids out there, confused, hurting, and afraid, and they’re the ones I’m thinking of. Maybe he should have apologized to them.
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### Author:  [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)
#### Post date: [May 19, 2017, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-says-a-bad-word-gets-crucified/786999/40 "2017-05-19T18:36:45Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#):
>
> I’d be interested in knowing if you have read and taken in any of the posts after this, such as the ones by Miller, mhendo and DeepLiquid (and others). That is, do you understand their point, even if you don’t entirely accept it? Are you able to grasp how just one spur-of-the-moment insult can sting someone who is a member of a still-frequently-insulted minority? That there is a reason why this sort of thing is dealt with so severely in the workplace?
>
> I don’t care two pins about professional sports or this particular player. What he said doesn’t affect me personally, I’m old enough to know better. But there are kids out there, confused, hurting, and afraid, and they’re the ones I’m thinking of. Maybe he should have apologized to them.
That is very well written and well said. Thank you.
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