# Board performance problems **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [May 27, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491 "2013-05-27T21:15:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ed\_Zotti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/fbc32d/32.png) [@Ed\_Zotti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ed_Zotti)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/1 "2013-05-27T21:15:59Z")
Rising board traffic (currently ~14M pageviews/mo) coupled with the increasing frequency of outages, error messages and other glitches has led the STM tech staff to conclude we’ve outgrown our current server capacity. We’re getting estimates and investigating alternatives and I expect we’ll upgrade once all the info is in. Till then we request your patience and apologize for any inconvenience. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/2 "2013-05-27T21:22:19Z")
In the meantime is there money in the budget to give the hamsters Red Bull? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/3 "2013-05-27T21:30:26Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > In the meantime is there money in the budget to give the hamsters Red Bull? I believe that currently they’re hooked on espresso made with Water Joe-Red Bull would be a 4 steps down from that. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/4 "2013-05-27T21:32:03Z")
Make the espresso with Red Bull then. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/5 "2013-05-27T21:32:24Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I believe that currently they’re hooked on espresso made with Water Joe-Red Bull would be a 4 steps down from that. Hookers and blow then. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/6 "2013-05-27T22:10:23Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Hookers and blow then. While blow would speed them up, hookers are going to tire them out (if we could even find hamster hookers, or for that matter hooker hamsters). ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/7 "2013-05-27T22:16:36Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > In the meantime is there money in the budget to give the hamsters Red Bull? Bad idea. It’s only a lack of wings that’s keeping them on the wheel at all. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/8 "2013-05-27T22:39:06Z")
Do bulls (Red or otherwise) eat hamsters? I assume Mr. Zotti’s remark refers to the notion of acquiring newer and better hardware. (Upgrade to 486’s?) Is it also envisioned to upgrade to a newer version of vBulletin? (Or possibly even to some other message board software, like phpBB or whatever?) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2013, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/9 "2013-05-27T22:49:24Z")
It’s time to get bigger rodents. We need capybaras powering the Dope. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/10 "2013-05-28T00:03:49Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Do bulls (Red or otherwise) eat hamsters? > > I assume Mr. Zotti’s remark refers to the notion of acquiring newer and better hardware. (Upgrade to 486’s?) Is it also envisioned to upgrade to a newer version of vBulletin? (Or possibly even to some other message board software, like phpBB or whatever?) Can’t speak for Ed but there’s no evidence that going much higher up the vBulletin ladder will be helpful – and there is some indication that doing so may even be detrimental to the speed and dexterity of the system. Doing more and getting less, no, that’s not a good idea. Ditto going to other software. We’re traditionally the latest kind of adopters and that has actually not only served us well but also saved us at times. I would expect that to continue. ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/11 "2013-05-28T00:14:53Z")
I agree with TubaDiva with regard to the risks and pointlessness of upgrading working software. If you are researching hosts, URLJet are excellent vBulletin specialists, although not in the cheap host range. I would recommend them for any form of hosting. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/12 "2013-05-28T00:26:16Z")
> [@Ed\_Zotti](#): > > Rising board traffic (currently ~14M pageviews/mo) coupled with the increasing frequency of outages, error messages and other glitches has led the STM tech staff to conclude we’ve outgrown our current server capacity. We’re getting estimates and investigating alternatives and I expect we’ll upgrade once all the info is in. Till then we request your patience and apologize for any inconvenience. Thanks for keeping the teeming millions informed, Z. I wonder if any analysis has been done on the rising trends – are we simply becoming more popular, have more members, more active members, are posting longer posts, or what? I only ask because without careful analysis, we might be victims of spam, aggressive search engines, or malware of various flavors. Not that it makes any difference. If it’s malware or spam, and we can’t avoid it, we may have to bite the bullet and upgrade anyway. Such is life. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/13 "2013-05-28T00:27:37Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Bad idea. It’s only a lack of wings that’s keeping them on the wheel at all. You have to think outside the box. Install the wings upside down the extra down draft will keep them on the wheel even better. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/14 "2013-05-28T00:57:35Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > (if we could even find hamster hookers, or for that matter hooker hamsters). Rule 34 says they exist. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/15 "2013-05-28T01:19:42Z")
I think we’re getting one of these. [Rockwell Retro Encabulator - YouTube](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJKdh1KZ0w) ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/16 "2013-05-28T01:32:10Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > I think we’re getting one of these. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJKdh1KZ0w](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXJKdh1KZ0w) Upgrading from [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiDgkGRCBq0)? Sidenote:The Rockwell/AB plant is a few miles from my house. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/17 "2013-05-28T03:10:59Z")
It won’t be too long before we get [this technology](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUa3np4CKC4), which was predicted long ago. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/18 "2013-05-28T03:13:47Z")
> [@Ed\_Zotti](#): > > Rising board traffic (currently ~14M pageviews/mo) coupled with the increasing frequency of outages, error messages and other glitches has led the STM tech staff to conclude we’ve outgrown our current server capacity. We’re getting estimates and investigating alternatives and I expect we’ll upgrade once all the info is in. Till then we request your patience and apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for the update. The Board is acting much better for me today albeit with the occasional hiccup. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2013, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/19 "2013-05-28T03:45:27Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Thank you for the update. The Board is acting much better for me today albeit with the occasional hiccup. I don’t mind the occasional hiccup-When we first started out it used to occasional belches and [del]fragrant[/del]frequent farts. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491/20 "2013-05-29T02:00:21Z")
OP reported! (to suggest stickifying this thread until resolved.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/board-performance-problems/659491.md?page=2)