# Bobby Brown Just Needs to Suck Something **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 3, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081 "2006-07-03T19:09:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/1 "2006-07-03T19:09:03Z")
[http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/07/03/showbuzz/index.html#1](http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/07/03/showbuzz/index.html#1) What in thee FUCK is wrong with this asshole? (2nd story down). I can’t think of a single celebrity who is less appealing. However, in the interest of fairness, I am accepting nominations for runners up right here. Cast your votes! ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/2 "2006-07-03T19:45:31Z")
His wife, Whitney. To answer your questions “What the fuck is wrong with this asshole?” and “Who is a less appealing celebrity?” Many unuttered questions were answered watching, “Being Bobby Brown.” Brown’s more of a dick, incidentally. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/3 "2006-07-03T19:50:17Z")
I think Courtney Love may be in serious contention. The trouble is we don’t have any reality footage of Ms. Love to compare, so there’s no way to make the competition fair. Still, I’d be willing to bet good money “I Love Courtney” could be the trainwreck of the century. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/4 "2006-07-03T19:56:45Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > His wife, Whitney. > > To answer your questions “What the fuck is wrong with this asshole?” and “Who is a less appealing celebrity?” > > Many unuttered questions were answered watching, “Being Bobby Brown.” > > Brown’s more of a dick, incidentally. Ya know…I watched two or three episodes, but it was more like a horrible accident I couldn’t tear myself away from. This jerkoff would be such a great anti-drug campaign poster. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/5 "2006-07-03T20:01:25Z")
Bobby never played nice. He’s just a little to old to pull off “causeless rebel.” ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/6 "2006-07-03T20:19:05Z")
I feel so sorry for his daughter. He treats her like shit. He really is something you want to scrape off your shoe. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/7 "2006-07-03T20:19:20Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > I think Courtney Love may be in serious contention. The trouble is we don’t have any reality footage of Ms. Love to compare, so there’s no way to make the competition fair. Still, I’d be willing to bet good money “I Love Courtney” could be the trainwreck of the century. Oh, please be quiet. You’re giving MTV ideas. ---
**Author:** ![Othersider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/cab0a1/32.png) [@Othersider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Othersider)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/8 "2006-07-04T02:36:33Z")
Conan O’Brien once referred to Bobby and Whitney as “Screwy McLawbreak and his walking pharmacy wife”. I remember cracking up at that, even though it’d been years since I heard anything about either of them. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/9 "2006-07-04T05:28:42Z")
Compare that article to the one below it, about Jamie Foxx. It’s like night and day. ---
**Author:** ![Operation\_Ripper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/34f0e0/32.png) [@Operation\_Ripper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Operation_Ripper)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/10 "2006-07-04T05:36:22Z")
Imagine where he’d be now if he hadn’t lucked into Whitney? ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/11 "2006-07-04T07:30:41Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > I think Courtney Love may be in serious contention. The trouble is we don’t have any reality footage of Ms. Love to compare, so there’s no way to make the competition fair. Still, I’d be willing to bet good money “I Love Courtney” could be the trainwreck of the century. It’s always a great story when Courtney Love goes batshit crazy. When she has a run-in with the law, it’s seriously fucked up. When she’s drunk and high during an interview, she’s seriously drunk and high. But I don’t know that the assumption is correct that if she had a camera on her all the time we’d just see this shit non-stop. She has a history of drug problems, and when there’s an incident all the papers run the story. We’re all very familiar with Courtney Love at her lowest, and we’ve seen her hit her lowest repeatedly with little promise that it will be the last time. But the couple times I’ve interacted with her (me in the service industry) she’s been sober, silly, sweet, articulate, polite, and pretty “plain jane” all things considered. I think a reality show following her life would actually be pretty boring unless the producers were “lucky” enough to have her hit those low points with the frequency that we imagine, rather than the frequency that she actually does hit those lows. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/12 "2006-07-04T11:39:22Z")
> [@bienville](#): > > It’s always a great story when Courtney Love goes batshit crazy. When she has a run-in with the law, it’s seriously fucked up. When she’s drunk and high during an interview, she’s seriously drunk and high. But I don’t know that the assumption is correct that if she had a camera on her all the time we’d just see this shit non-stop. > > She has a history of drug problems, and when there’s an incident all the papers run the story. We’re all very familiar with Courtney Love at her lowest, and we’ve seen her hit her lowest repeatedly with little promise that it will be the last time. > > But the couple times I’ve interacted with her (me in the service industry) she’s been sober, silly, sweet, articulate, polite, and pretty “plain jane” all things considered. I think a reality show following her life would actually be pretty boring unless the producers were “lucky” enough to have her hit those low points with the frequency that we imagine, rather than the frequency that she actually does hit those lows. I thought I heard that her last clean-up “stuck”. Who knows, with all the Tinseltown backstabbing and embellishment…but that’s that last I heard. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/13 "2006-07-04T16:42:50Z")
> [@Operation Ripper](#): > > Imagine where he’d be now if he hadn’t lucked into Whitney? Being with a string of considerably less rich women who probably wouldn’t cater to his ego or enable his man-child irresponsibility, I imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/14 "2006-07-04T18:10:00Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Being with a string of considerably less rich women who probably wouldn’t cater to his ego or enable his man-child irresponsibility, I imagine. So. Um. Where they keeping them wimmins at? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2006, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/15 "2006-07-05T20:21:33Z")
No mention of Paris Hilton? Today’s most famous whore? Shame on you all. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2006, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bobby-brown-just-needs-to-suck-something/363081/16 "2006-07-05T20:25:45Z")
What about Star Jones? K-Fed? Michael Jackson? Britney Spears?