# bodily functions that you wish you could get rid of permanently **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 9, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012 "2000-07-09T05:28:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/1 "2000-07-09T05:28:42Z")
my choices: [li]production of comedones[/li]going “number two” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/2 "2000-07-09T06:03:06Z")
The ability my ass has to gather hair, dust, lint etc from anywhere in the universe. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/3 "2000-07-09T06:08:41Z")
If I never had to wipe my ass again it would be TOO DAMN soon! I absolutly HATE having to go take a shit! ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/4 "2000-07-09T06:10:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*The ability my ass has to gather hair, dust, lint etc from anywhere in the universe. \*\* No comment. Having to use the bathroom, and eating. It can be a waste of time and a hassle. ---
**Author:** ![Babar714](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Babar714](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babar714)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/5 "2000-07-09T06:15:47Z")
Not really a bodily function, but an unfortunate side effect: ass sweat. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/6 "2000-07-09T06:20:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MagicalSilverKey \* > > [li]production of comedones[/li] > \*\* alright… I tried to avoid and pretend I knew… now I’m asking… production of WHAT? ---
**Author:** ![Michi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@Michi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michi)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/7 "2000-07-09T06:31:31Z")
My period. I want to get rid of my period. Now. ---
**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/8 "2000-07-09T06:33:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Michi \* > \*\*My period. I want to get rid of my period. Now. > > \*\* Well you used **THREE** of them in one post! Not a good start. ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/9 "2000-07-09T06:39:52Z")
Yeah, if it didn’t mean infertility and otherwise female malfunction, the whole PMS/menstruating thing can go away none too soon. Farting is most unpleasant, especially when you’re an elementary school teacher. Not only do you have to worry about not making a sound when it’s absolutely necessary to let things go, you have to worry about the kids giggling and pointing at each other (they never do think teachers fart, fortunately). ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/10 "2000-07-09T06:42:32Z")
No contest, eating. ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/11 "2000-07-09T06:49:44Z")
Well, I generally enjoy eating so the end of pooping could be the beginning of some rather nasty intestinal problems. I’m not very hirsute, but I do have to shave, so I’d go for the death of all my body hair follicles. Cool. ---
**Author:** ![honkytonkwillie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@honkytonkwillie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/honkytonkwillie)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/12 "2000-07-09T10:11:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Whammo \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by MagicalSilverKey \* > > > > [li]production of comedones[/li] > > \*\* > > alright… I tried to avoid and pretend I knew… now I’m asking… production of WHAT? \*\* He’s talking about the pimples on his butt. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/13 "2000-07-09T11:56:13Z")
Sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. I’d love to reclalim that 1/3 of my life. ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/14 "2000-07-09T12:02:44Z")
Shaving and growing hair. I could save a lot of money never having to go to the barber again. I have to take a different tact from some of the guys that didn’t want to go #2 anymore. There are only few things that beat a really good shit. ---
**Author:** ![Nika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ba9def/32.png) [@Nika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nika)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/15 "2000-07-09T13:29:09Z")
Adding my vote to the other ladies who want to keep the fertility ability, but not have monthly stresses over it. Or even if just the cramping would go away. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/16 "2000-07-09T14:00:02Z")
Shaving, absolutely. Haircuts, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/17 "2000-07-09T14:08:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Sleeping, sleeping, sleeping. I’d love > to reclalim that 1/3 of my life. \*\* second that. maybe once in a while for pleasure, but saving 2000+ hours a year would be great. ---
**Author:** ![DVous\_Means](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@DVous\_Means](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DVous_Means)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/18 "2000-07-09T15:11:57Z")
The degeneratiion that accompanies aging. It’s not that I am scared of getting old, it’s just the thought of bits of me wearing out along the way. ---
**Author:** ![Wanderlust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc29f/32.png) [@Wanderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wanderlust)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/19 "2000-07-09T15:34:01Z")
I’d love to stop growing toenails. They are quite useless. ---
**Author:** ![MagicalSilverKey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@MagicalSilverKey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicalSilverKey)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2000, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012/20 "2000-07-09T17:30:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by honkytonkwillie \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Whammo \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by MagicalSilverKey \* > > > > > > [li]production of comedones[/li] > > > \*\* > > > > alright… I tried to avoid and pretend I knew… now I’m asking… production of WHAT? \*\* > > He’s talking about the pimples on his butt. \*\* LOL! But seriously for those who don’t know: “comedo” is just a fancy word for facial blackheads aka clogged pores in the stage _ **before** _ they become pimples. I don’t get very many pimples, just damn clogged up pores. Yes, there is a difference. I love those Biore strip things and glycerin soap i.e. Nutrogena for clearing them away. The products get to be expensive, though. 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bodily-functions-that-you-wish-you-could-get-rid-of-permanently/25012.md?page=2)