# Body Signals and the Fall of Radical Islam **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 9, 2015, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015 "2015-10-09T11:36:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Snark\_Hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snark\_Hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snark_Hunter)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/21 "2015-10-09T12:41:09Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > I guarandamntee you that if a jihadist actually believed your system were accurate, his left ear would be itching up a storm. I agree. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/22 "2015-10-09T12:45:50Z")
> [@Snark\_Hunter](#): > > We are to walk by faith in this mortal lifetime; no one pleases God without faith. Like I said, I believe the body signals are merely supplementary by nature, not intended to be proof of anything. Why would I want to please an insane/malevolent God? And how do I know the God commnicating thus with me is actually omnipotent instead of being no more than the God of Itchniness? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/23 "2015-10-09T12:53:34Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > My back is itchy right now in the exact spot that I cannot reach. Tell your god to stop fucking with me. **OP** , Thanks! Don’t know what you did or how you did it, but it worked! ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/24 "2015-10-09T12:58:50Z")
My left wrist hurts like the very Devil almost all the time. I am afraid that noise would swamp out any signal trying to get through concerning “evil actions” (if I am interpreting the chart correctly). ---
**Author:** ![Snark\_Hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snark\_Hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snark_Hunter)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/25 "2015-10-09T12:59:11Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Why would I want to please an insane/malevolent God? I didn’t say He is insane or malevolent. We please Him so we may gain salvation from the effects of our sins. > [@](#): > > And how do I know the God commnicating thus with me is actually omnipotent instead of being no more than the God of Itchniness? Faith isn’t a sure knowledge at first. But it’s required for spiritual progression. ---
**Author:** ![Snark\_Hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snark\_Hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snark_Hunter)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/26 "2015-10-09T13:02:54Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > **OP** , Thanks! Don’t know what you did or how you did it, but it worked! I did nothing. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/27 "2015-10-09T13:04:07Z")
> [@Snark\_Hunter](#): > > I didn’t say He is insane or malevolent. We please Him so we may gain salvation from the effects of our sins. It’s the only reasonable conclusion of your claims; it’s as if you told me that God communicated to me through Opposite Day on Venusian retrograde days, otherwise communicating entirely through the lost language of Mu, and would send me to hell if I didn’t understand. Be honest, though. You don’t want me to have faith in god. You want me to have faith in **you**. That is, you want me to accept your ideas without subjecting your claims to critical thought. Sorry, dude. Not gonna do it. ---
**Author:** ![Snark\_Hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snark\_Hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snark_Hunter)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/28 "2015-10-09T13:06:10Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > My left wrist hurts like the very Devil almost all the time. I am afraid that noise would swamp out any signal trying to get through concerning “evil actions” (if I am interpreting the chart correctly). Wrists indicate that you’re going about something the wrong way. ---
**Author:** ![Snark\_Hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snark\_Hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snark_Hunter)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/29 "2015-10-09T13:08:48Z")
> [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > It’s the only reasonable conclusion of your claims; it’s as if you told me that God communicated to me through Opposite Day on Venusian retrograde days, otherwise communicating entirely through the lost language of Mu, and would send me to hell if I didn’t understand. > > Be honest, though. You don’t want me to have faith in god. You want me to have faith in **you**. That is, you want me to accept your ideas without subjecting your claims to critical thought. > > Sorry, dude. Not gonna do it. Don’t, then. Doesn’t hurt me in the least. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/30 "2015-10-09T13:10:10Z")
> [@Snark\_Hunter](#): > > Wrists indicate that you’re going about something the wrong way. The hairy palms and blindness are stronger indicators. ---
**Author:** ![Human\_Action](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@Human\_Action](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Human_Action)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/31 "2015-10-09T13:19:05Z")
> [@Snark\_Hunter](#): > > First of all, let me explain what I mean when I refer to the Theory of Body Signals. It isn’t a scientific theory, but rather a spiritual one. I’ve been observing and analyzing the body signals for decades now, and I like to think I understand what they signify and their potential to change human behavior. > > The theory goes like this: God is able to communicate with all mankind not only through personal revelation, prophets and the scriptures, but also physically through certain “signals” which manifest as itches, muscular twitches, cramps and pains. These signals are not God’s primary means of communicating with us, His children, but are rather supplementary in nature. He doesn’t expect us to watch every little itch or twitch and try to decode them, but they are helpful in letting us know His will in general and work out our problems. > > Here, then, are what I consider to be the most important body signals: > > **Left side** of the body symbolizes **evil** > **Right side** of the body symbolizes **good** > **Legs** symbolize **thoughts** > **Arms and shoulder blades** symbolize **actions** > **Left ear** symbolizes **God’s justice** > **Right ear** symbolizes **God’s mercy** > **Cheeks** mean **God didn’t say that** > **Nose** means **choose** > > For example, if I think an evil thought, my left leg may itch or twitch. If I believe something God didn’t say, one of my cheeks may itch when I reference that belief in my thoughts. If I am kind to others, my right ear may itch or pulse. And so on. > > **…To be continued…** Is there any Biblical support for this idea? ---
**Author:** ![Snark\_Hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snark\_Hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snark_Hunter)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/32 "2015-10-09T13:30:23Z")
> [@Human\_Action](#): > > Is there any Biblical support for this idea? Stephen saw Jesus standing on the right hand of God. Somewhere it says that some people don’t know their right hand from their left, and elsewhere it mentions separating the sheep from the goats, the latter of which are found on God’s left hand. ---
**Author:** ![MrQwertyasd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@MrQwertyasd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrQwertyasd)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/33 "2015-10-09T13:30:44Z")
What about itchy balls ? ---
**Author:** ![MrQwertyasd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9d8465/32.png) [@MrQwertyasd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrQwertyasd)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/34 "2015-10-09T13:31:59Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > My back is itchy right now in the exact spot that I cannot reach. Tell your god to stop fucking with me. I recommend a 12" steel rule. Ch ch ch. So good. ---
**Author:** ![Snark\_Hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snark\_Hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snark_Hunter)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/35 "2015-10-09T13:40:30Z")
> [@MrQwertyasd](#): > > What about itchy balls ? This is a touchy subject for which I’ve been ridiculed…but since you ask, they mean your judgment from God is changing, for the better (right) or for the worse (left). :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/36 "2015-10-09T13:40:30Z")
Right now my right shoulder is twitching. I was thinking about beating one of my coworkers with a tire iron. So far im likeing your theory. Either that or I just had surgery on my right shoulder and its beet twitching for almost two weeks. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/37 "2015-10-09T13:43:21Z")
> [@Snark\_Hunter](#): > > I did nothing. 😕 Right. OK , we’ll go with that. But thank you, nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Snark\_Hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snark\_Hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snark_Hunter)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/38 "2015-10-09T13:46:07Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Right. OK , we’ll go with that. But thank you, nonetheless. I’m hoping this theory will help many. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/39 "2015-10-09T13:57:42Z")
> [@Snark\_Hunter](#): > > I’m hoping this theory will help many. We need more Jonas Salks. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2015, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015/40 "2015-10-09T14:00:42Z")
So what does it mean if you fall in poison ivy? What about eczema? Or jock itch? Dandruff? Is that like god shouting at you? And is stuff like aloe and Benedryl cream like an invention of the devil? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/body-signals-and-the-fall-of-radical-islam/734015.md?page=3)