# Bollocks? what are they?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [January 10, 2004, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819 "2004-01-10T12:12:16Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/41 "2011-03-06T21:51:35Z")

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> [@FrWindyShephardHenderson](#):
>
> Also in Ireland to be bollocksed is be very very drunk.
> 
> Talking bollocks generally means more like talking nonsense, at least in Ireland anyway.

I will in me bollix - “It’s highly unlikely I’ll do that.”

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**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/42 "2011-03-06T21:56:20Z")

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> [@DrFidelius](#):
>
> “Bollocks!” said the Queen. “If I had them I’d be King!”

‘Balls!’ said the Queen, ‘If I had **to** , I’d be King!’  
The King laughed. He had **to**.  
The Princess laughed. She wanted **to**.  
The Prince didn’t. He was shy **to**.  
The Duke said they’re both nuts.

(As dad said it.)

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**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/43 "2011-03-06T22:00:00Z")

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> [@FrWindyShephardHenderson](#):
>
> Also in Ireland to be bollocksed is be very very drunk.  
> .

In the UK and Ireland pretty much any word ever seems to be able to be used as a euphemism for being drunk.

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**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/44 "2011-03-06T22:57:57Z")

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So a dog’s balls are a good thing, a dog’s dinner is a good thing, but a dog’s breakfast is a bad thing. Got it. I’m ready for more Chef Ramsey.

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**Author:** ![An\_Gadai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@An\_Gadai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Gadai)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/45 "2011-03-06T23:03:43Z")

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> [@levdrakon](#):
>
> So a dog’s balls are a good thing, a dog’s dinner is a good thing, but a dog’s breakfast is a bad thing. Got it. I’m ready for more Chef Ramsey.

I’m not familiar with the term “a dog’s breakfast” but to me “a dog’s dinner” is a mess.

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**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/46 "2011-03-06T23:11:41Z")

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> [@An\_Gadai](#):
>
> I’m not familiar with the term “a dog’s breakfast” but to me “a dog’s dinner” is a mess.

That’s what Chef Ramsey usually implies when he says it and throws your dish all over the kitchen and kicks the garbage can across the room. I was confused.

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**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\
**Post date:** [March 6, 2011, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/47 "2011-03-06T23:41:29Z")

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> [@levdrakon](#):
>
> So a dog’s balls are a good thing…

They must be. They spend enough time licking them!

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**Author:** ![Philliam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/philliam/32/3011_2.png) [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/48 "2011-03-07T20:54:46Z")

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Dang, I must be a fake Brit, too, as I use that term all the time with the meaning(s) described. Have to admit that I spent a number of years as the ‘token Yank’ on hydrographic survey crews overseas and picked up a lot of obscure slang that I still use today, including ‘rhyming slang’ that tends to confuse my ‘mates’ and ‘me old china’. Oops, did it again!

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**Author:** ![A.Gwilliam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@A.Gwilliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A.Gwilliam)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/49 "2011-03-07T21:11:53Z")

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> [@Philliam](#):
>
> Dang, I must be a fake Brit, too, as I use that term all the time with the meaning(s) described. Have to admit that I spent a number of years as the ‘token Yank’ on hydrographic survey crews overseas and picked up a lot of obscure slang that I still use today, including ‘rhyming slang’ that tends to confuse my ‘mates’ and ‘me old china’. Oops, did it again!

I think “me old china” might not mean what you think it means…?

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**Author:** ![ChrisBooth12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@ChrisBooth12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisBooth12)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2011, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/50 "2011-03-07T22:48:36Z")

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[http://tinyurl.com/6zsyde4](http://tinyurl.com/6zsyde4)

There ya go

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**Author:** ![0ldbill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/0/a88e4f/32.png) [@0ldbill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/0ldbill)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2015, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/51 "2015-03-07T17:05:59Z")

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Firstly, apologies for the delay in getting back to you.  
With regard to being a ‘fake Brit’, my family have existed in U.K. since before the Norman conquest, I therefore regard myself as more British than most. I take it that, from the quality of your comment, you are not even a colonial but one of those ‘Americans’ swept from the slums of middle Europe.  
The origin of the term ‘bollocks’ or more accurately ‘ballocks’ goes back some way. In the context of 18th century and before the meaning is ‘something of little consequence or effect’ or ‘small balls’ and I refer you to my original comment.  
The term was also used as a slang referral to clergymen, for obvious reasons. (See the wikipedia entry for an explanation and derivation.)  
I would also refer you to the evidence of James Kingsley, Professor of English, who was called as a witness at the time of the case tried in Nottingham Magistrates Court 24/11/77.  
With regard to ‘china’, this is cockney rhyming slang and is short for ‘china plate’, i.e. ‘mate’.

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**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\
**Post date:** [March 7, 2015, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/52 "2015-03-07T17:14:34Z")

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OK, I’d just love to hear the story behind this one. What motivated you to seek out a thread on a message board you’d only ever posted to once before, four years after your original post, which was in turn seven years after the thread was started, to see what people where saying?

Though I suppose I’ll have to wait until 2019 to hear the story.

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**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2015, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/53 "2015-03-08T01:42:24Z")

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In the meantime, here is a [pictorial example of _bollocks_](http://crispian-jago.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-venn-diagram-of-irrational-nonsense.html), meaning in the sense of “bullshit, baloney, nonsense”.

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**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2015, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/54 "2015-03-08T02:05:40Z")

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I have a T-shirt from Long Gun Bar in Bangkok’s Soi Cowboy red-light area. On the back, it shows a group of Old West cowboys on horses, and one says, “Bollocks to the posse. Let’s go grab a cold one at Long Gun.”

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**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\
**Post date:** [March 8, 2015, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/55 "2015-03-08T18:00:27Z")

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> [@0ldbill](#):
>
> With regard to being a ‘fake Brit’, . . .

You, with only a single post at that point, were clearly not the target of that comment that indicates multiple posts. So you are in violation of board rules to refrain from insulting others while responding to a perceived attack that was not aimed at you. Bad form. [/Moderating]

> [@0ldbill](#):
>
> The origin of the term ‘bollocks’ or more accurately ‘ballocks’ goes back some way. In the context of 18th century and before the meaning is ‘something of little consequence or effect’ or ‘small balls’ and I refer you to my original comment.  
> The term was also used as a slang referral to clergymen, for obvious reasons. (See the wikipedia entry for an explanation and derivation.)

Bollocks is a variant spelling of ballocks just as bollix is a variant spelling of bollocks. That is not really disputed.  
Given that an eighteenth century musket ball was not too different in size from a human’s testicle (and shot for a hunting piece would be smaller) it does not seem to make much sense that the allusion would have relied on (unattested) slang to indicate a relationship between a clergyman and small testicles or birdshot. Further, the use of words for testicles to indicate foolish behavior or a foolish person appearing in multiple other contexts demonstrates a connection that requires no detour through firearms to arrive at the same intent: Spanish _pelotas_ and _cojones_, Italian _coglione_, in Yiddish, they use the penis instead, _schmuck_ and _putz_, and English refers to the penis in “cock up” and similar expression, but the association of male genitalia and foolishness in consistent.  
The Wikipedia association of a person speaking nonsense seems to have a stronger claim than an appeal to firearms. (That sounds suspiciously like a folk etymology even if there ever was a use of ballocks to indicate birdshot.)

Do you have an actual citation for the firearms claim, (or even for a reference to small shot being called ballocks)?

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**Author:** ![hibernicus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hibernicus/32/2802_2.png) [@hibernicus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hibernicus)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/56 "2015-03-09T00:11:41Z")

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One additional usage cited in the OED (just for completeness):

_blocks secured to the middle of the topsail yards in large ships; the topsail ties pass through them, and thereby gain an increase of power in lifting the yards._

No mention of ammunition or clergymen in the entries for “ballock” or “bollock”, the primary meaning in both cases being “testicle”.

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**Author:** ![TwoCarrotSnowman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/twocarrotsnowman/32/15879_2.png) [@TwoCarrotSnowman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoCarrotSnowman)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/57 "2015-03-09T07:55:33Z")

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> [@tomndebb](#):
>
> .  
> Given that an eighteenth century musket ball was not too different in size from a human’s testicle

Speak for yourself. 🆒

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**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/58 "2015-03-09T16:57:15Z")

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Zombies will eat anything from balls, ass cheeks and even those of fake brits!!!

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**Author:** ![TCMF-2L](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tcmf-2l/32/16553_2.png) [@TCMF-2L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TCMF-2L)\
**Post date:** [March 9, 2015, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/59 "2015-03-09T17:54:46Z")

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Meanwhile, under duress and searching for additional emphasis, it’s not unknown to talk of “_ **Hairy Bollocks** _” plus a vain or over achieving individual with a little too much success could be called “_ **A total Billy Big Bollocks** _” although “_ **He’s a Bit of a Billy Big Balls, isn’t he?** _” used to be the more common.

Plus there is also the usage - when something goes wrong (when something is bollocked up) it can be referred to as it was “_ **A right bollocker** _” - To clarify a person is not a bollocker but a situation is. Don’t get the usage wrong or you will look a complete **Bollockhead**.

As noted upthread a truly, truly versatile word.

TCMF-2L

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**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\
**Post date:** [March 10, 2015, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bollocks-what-are-they/223819/60 "2015-03-10T17:45:00Z")

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> [@tomndebb](#):
>
> You, with only a single post at that point, were clearly not the target of that comment that indicates multiple posts. So you are in violation of board rules to refrain from insulting others while responding to a perceived attack that was not aimed at you. Bad form…

Looks like you dropped a bollock there, 0ldbill…

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