# Boob News: Florida Town rejects Mermaid Statue **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 3, 2006, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221 "2006-05-03T12:35:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/1 "2006-05-03T12:35:15Z")
How did I miss this one the first time around? Wellington, Florida doesn’t want a large-breasted statue of a mermaid back: [http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0502Siren02-ON.html](http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/0502Siren02-ON.html) > [@](#): > > The life-size sea temptress, the marquee exhibit at the Wellington Community Center’s inaugural Art in Public Places program, drew media attention last summer because of her top-heavy bust line. The sculpture appeared on CNN and had a mention in Playboy. > [@](#): > > Gitzen _added nipples_ to the statue last month while it was on loan to the Palm Beach International Sculpture Biennale at Wellington Green. The city warned Gitzen to remove them before returning the mermaid. (my emphasis) Of course, there’s no picture, so I had to look it up: [http://www.banderasnews.com/0508/art-mermaid.htm](http://www.banderasnews.com/0508/art-mermaid.htm) ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/2 "2006-05-03T12:39:28Z")
From this site: [http://www.somecrankyguy.com/?p=292](http://www.somecrankyguy.com/?p=292) [quote] Gitzen thinks The Siren is anatomically correct or maybe even undersized. He is searching for an engineer to see whether her breasts are proportional to her 10-foot-tall, 6-foot-wide stature [/quote > [@](#): > > scientific analysis might find her “underboobed,” Gitzen said. … ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/3 "2006-05-03T12:42:06Z")
[http://www.somecrankyguy.com/?p=372](http://www.somecrankyguy.com/?p=372) [quiote]Gitzen was ecstatic to hear that the research disproved the community’s claims. “She’s long from head to tail, and for her size, she’s not out of proportion,” Gitzen said of his 18-foot statue. “Chris proved that, compared to a Barbie doll, she is ‘underboobed.’” [/quote] I’m going to have to add this word to my vocabulary. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/4 "2006-05-03T12:45:42Z")
I’m not sure how anyone could in all seriousness call her underboobed. They’re titanic. “Lovingly shaped out of hand-pounded steel and bronze” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/5 "2006-05-03T12:51:30Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > I’m not sure how anyone could in all seriousness call her underboobed. They’re titanic. “Titanic”? :rolleyes: If you want to make her parts “perky”, do you rub em with an iceberg? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/6 "2006-05-03T13:17:11Z")
Good God. If that’s “underboobed” where does this guy live? As for it being proportional to her length, he seems to have forgotten that there’s a \*freaking long tail \* on this statue. If that torso were given properly proportioned legs, she’d be so topheavy that she’d have crippling chronic backpain. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/7 "2006-05-03T13:20:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Good God. If that’s “underboobed” where does this guy live? As for it being proportional to her length, he seems to have forgotten that there’s a freaking long tail on this statue. If that torso were given properly proportioned legs, she’d be so topheavy that she’d have crippling chronic backpain. I guess one of the advantages of being a mermaid is that the water supports even outrageously proportioned boobage, and the lower back doesn’t have to support _any_ of the weight, unless she decides to come to the surface and have a look around. Maybe _that’s_ why we so rarely see mermaids anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/8 "2006-05-03T13:37:36Z")
You think you’d see more dead mermaids floating around tits-up. I, for one, welcome out new massive-mammaried, aquatic fishgirl overlords. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/9 "2006-05-03T13:39:12Z")
Yeah, I need to be a marine biologist and um…you know…live among the super-tittified tribe of sensual maritime she-beasts. This doesn’t deser its own post, but dammit, it sure got it. …then again, dad always did say that more than a wheelbarrowfull was too much… ---
**Author:** ![MissMossie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@MissMossie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMossie)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/10 "2006-05-03T13:40:27Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > [http://www.somecrankyguy.com/?p=372](http://www.somecrankyguy.com/?p=372) > > [quiote]Gitzen was ecstatic to hear that the research disproved the community’s claims. > > “She’s long from head to tail, and for her size, she’s not out of proportion,” Gitzen said of his 18-foot statue. “Chris proved that, compared to a Barbie doll, she is ‘underboobed.’” I’m going to have to add this word to my vocabulary. [/QUOTE] That’s like saying compared to the Empire State Building, my house is short. Well, duh! ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/11 "2006-05-03T14:03:16Z")
> [@MissMossie](#): > > I’m going to have to add this word to my vocabulary. That’s like saying compared to the Empire State Building, my house is short. Well, duh! [/QUOTE] You live in the Empire State Building? Wow! I bet you’ve got really high ceilings! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/12 "2006-05-03T17:32:52Z")
Underboobed? Yeah, that’s a good word. I can see many a parent consoling their teenage girl with the phrase, “No honey, you’re not flat you’re just underboobed”. It would also make a good superhero name. “Never fear, UnderBoob is here!” Whereever there is a busty stripper suffering back pain, UnderBoob will be there! Whenever Pamela Lee gets tired of her implants, Underboob will be there! I think people are being ridiculous, that’s not even a “life-like” type sculpture. It’s more abstract. It’s like getting upset about a Picasso painting with boobs in it, sure there are boobs in it but they’re on her ear! Get over it. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/13 "2006-05-03T18:00:41Z")
It occurs to me that the defense I’ve given often enough for the “breasts as buttock mimc” argument I’ve given often enough on this Board would also operate to guarantee that mermaids have minimal, if any, boobs. Not needing strong buttock muscles to enable them to stand upright, mermaids have no butts, so there’s nothing for the boobs to mimic. Plus their protuberant shape would be a disadvantage in an otherwise streamlined shape. Real mermaids ought to be flat-chested. Nevertheless, even though their fantasy creatures, I’m holding out for buxom mermaids. I think we ought to give Ear Boobs a try, too. It would add new meaning to “nibbling on her ear.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/14 "2006-05-03T18:06:10Z")
It occurs to me that the defense I’ve given often enough for the “breasts as buttock mimc” argument I’ve given often enough on this Board would also operate to guarantee that mermaids have minimal, if any, boobs. Not needing strong buttock muscles to enable them to stand upright, mermaids have no butts, so there’s nothing for the boobs to mimic. Plus their protuberant shape would be a disadvantage in an otherwise streamlined shape. Real mermaids ought to be flat-chested. Nevertheless, even though their fantasy creatures, I’m holding out for buxom mermaids. I think we ought to give Ear Boobs a try, too. It would add new meaning to “nibbling on her ear.” ---
**Author:** ![pinkfreud](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pinkfreud/32/17603_2.png) [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/15 "2006-05-03T18:25:54Z")
With flotation devices like those, how could a mermaid ever stay submerged? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/16 "2006-05-03T18:52:44Z")
I remember as a kid coming across a boob and holding it up to my ear so you could hear the mermaid. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/17 "2006-05-03T19:18:54Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Of course, there’s no picture, so I had to look it up: > > [Artist’s Busty Mermaid Statue Draws Some Alarm In Florida](http://www.banderasnews.com/0508/art-mermaid.htm) Heh. Heh. He said: > [@](#): > > Lovingly shaped out of hand-pounded steel Yeah. I just bet he pounded some steel. Filthy little man. 😛 My god- people get up in arms over THIS? Do we have any idea how many of the irate women who complained were large-breasted? Methinks the artist was on the mark when he said that the world is filled with big-busted women and now … this means they are somehow obscene? If anyone wants to organize a protest supporting the artistic rights of large-breasted women, I for one will be glad to lend a hand. Cartooniverse p.s. All smirking aside, the idea that anybody gets to call this level of art obscene is insulting. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/18 "2006-05-03T19:29:39Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Wellington, Florida doesn’t want a large-breasted statue of a mermaid back. Well, _yeah_. I mean, what was he doing, putting boobs on her back anyway? 😛 Seriously, though, those boobs are waayy too big for her frame. Just look at her skinny little arms and neck! It hurts me just to look at her. And they’re all saggy, too. Ewww. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/19 "2006-05-03T19:31:57Z")
How could anyone (other than an art teacher) be offended? The boobs are not erotic (except to a few who enjoy the thought that size conquers all), they are a parody–and they are hanging over a torso that is scaly to the point of being dragon-like. Even if he welded (hammered?) nipples on them, the statue is about as erotic as an oversized shrimp. Some people simply need to find things to offend them. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2006, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221/20 "2006-05-03T19:39:39Z")
The careful reader will note that she’s “underboobed” _relative to a Barbie Doll_. Dolly Parton is underboobed relative to a Barbie Doll. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boob-news-florida-town-rejects-mermaid-statue/355221.md?page=2)