# Boobs exist to make men happy? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 2, 1999, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273 "1999-07-02T14:44:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 1999, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/41 "1999-07-08T18:30:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Just a bit off topic, but having larger breasts doesn’t always make things easier for a woman. Some of my female friends just wish that people would stop staring or making comments about them… That is very true, Neil. And men don’t always fall for large breasts. For example, I’ve noticed that out of my circle of friends, the ones with the smaller chests attract the most men, while my more amply endowed friends are passed over. My one friend thinks that maybe males are intimidated by her large chest. Who knows. * * * Welfy I wonder what the king is doing tonight? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 1999, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/42 "1999-07-09T05:43:00Z")
Okay… I can’t believe I’m writing on this topic. I’ve got a few thoughts to throw into the fray… so I’ll number them. 🙂 1.) I have another curve ball to throw in here. For one thing… has anyone seen breasts in one of the more primative cultures. NOTHING like the breasts we are all talking about. Nothing at all. Not the “soft round, etc” that are supposed to have been attractive. I have a bad feeling that that round and soft bit is really a byproduct of the brassiere. I think we may just be getting a little ethnocentric here and blinding ourselves. (just a mite _w_) 2.) Another thing… according to the theory stated in “The Evolution of Conciousness” (I’m sorry, I know it’s not the author’s personal theory… he just restates it in the book) there were a multitude of changes that took place (according to this “heat theory” that standing up changes the humidity and heat that the body is subject to…human vs ape stance). Some of these… The infant’s head and cranial size had to be smaller because an upright body requires a more dense pelvic bone, which makes sure the infant is born less developed (because with a lower heat and lower humidity, there is a larger possibility for growing a larger brain), which in turn makes an infant more likely to need longer term care… bringing on attachment and a child that is not born “ready to run” like in many of the other animals. The hands were freed from walking, to become tools (though!!! there are some primative cultures which are known to have feet almost as dextrous as their hands), and the body to utilize less energy. 3.) Now… along with this, I’m sure there no longer was the concern of having a severe back ache with all of that extra weight on one local place on the body (_L_ That is in some ways a joke… because one of the causes of back trouble in women is breasts). I do think that the idea of breasts showing the fertility of the woman (just having had a child, so she is ready to have another-post) seems pretty interesting and thoughtful to me. (and #4 which is my real idea… the others were just warmer-uppers you know 😉 ) I THINK… though… there are some biological issues that might be here also. For one… breasts have special chemicals in the fat stores that keep the fat from being burned until either excersize has EXCEEDED around forty five minutes or in the event of a food shortage. And the breasts, along with the upper arms, are one of the first places the fat goes when there is an overly large caloric intake. In other words… big breasts means this speciman has fed well and that she has the extra fat stores to provide for a child being born in the event of a scarcity of food. Also, bigger breasts means that since she has been in a place of plenty (of food) so she has had a wider variety of food if the food is more plentiful and she is more likely to be healthy and able to carry a child for the long term that is required. Has anyone seen the difference between a feral horse on the range and one that has been domesticated? It’s amazing the change a little extra food can do for a body. In other words… breasts, are a wonderful indication of the health of the potential mother and the greater possiblity of a child surviving. ALSO… _L_ breast milk has a high quantity of fat in it. (Though the majority of it is actually anitbodies passed through the mother to the child to protect the child from diseases the mother is exposed to…since the two are supposed to be inseperable, these antibodies would protect the child from sickness that come their way). And if the mother is skinny to begin with, not skilled at getting enough food, or unable to, then after a pregnancy cut short by not having enough food (creating an underweight baby, one strike against the child and also, most likely born early to compensate for the incredible pressure on the mother to sustain a life when the food is too low to sustain her own - second strike against the child) the child has to deal with not having enough fat in their diet to put on the weight they so desperately need (to help ensure good eyesight, a must for bipedal animals (another idea found in “The Evolution of Conciousness” is the increased ability to see better because of the visibility range changing by becoming bipedal), and energy to learn and grow by storing fat as “baby fat” to be used during growing spurts and for the brain’s development (strikes three and four)). So… Why choose a mother who hasn’t the body fat to deal with childbirth? And what better way to show that you can deal with child birth, but to display it where all can see (namely near the head which has the vocalizations, facial expressions and such and would be a place that would hold most of the male’s attention - I mean the head… _L_)? Another place to display fat is at the hips… this fat is usually created DURING pregnancy however and is used exclusively for the baby after the child is born. Kinda neat… there are signs that a woman is pregnant or a good candidate for offspring’s survival chances just by the placement of the fat on her body. Anyhow… just another viewpoint, if anyone would care to respond to it. * * * Growing old is manditory. Growing wise is optional. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 1999, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/43 "1999-07-09T11:38:00Z")
Wow Sara, exhaustive coms to mind, even if it’s partly a WAG. So we’re back on topic again. I find it interesting that the consensus here more and more leans towrds the fact that female breasts are there, if not only to make men happy, then at least have a very clear role in the sexuality of humans. It seems that breasts, in some way or another, are there to signal something: Health, beauty, fertility ASF. The shape, however, Sara. Remember that young (13-15 y.o.) females of primitive people have a shapely form, close to what we in the western world consider nice’n’round. And that’s the age where women have gotten pregnant for the first time in their (sadly) short lifes in prehistory. Having given birth once, she’s proven her fertility. I hope this means that I’m now free to look at the hooters of females without being consider a sexist. I can calmly say that I, and every other man, is genetically predisposed to look at’em. Problem is that I’m particular to … ahem… bottoms. 🙂 ct ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 1999, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/44 "1999-07-09T15:37:00Z")
Sara - you said pretty much the same thing as what I said, except for where the fat was stored for child-bearing. I believe the majority is stored on the hips (at least that’s where a lot of mine is!) And yes, our breasts shape is definitely aided by bras. Sassy - thanks for clearing that up - now I know who to blame if I’m not enjoying certain attentions. 😉 Charlie - I read somewhere that derriere men tend to be nicer that bosom men. So stand tall in your preferences! ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 1999, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/45 "1999-07-10T05:10:00Z")
Charlie:: _L_ Okay… first off WAG? And ASF? I’m not familiar with those. You know? If we are talking evolution and such, then the traits that show up are the ones that enable the species to survive… in other words, what helps the species to reproduce. (according to popular theory that is). So that would make sense in the long run. Everything is for the kids. That is if we talk evolution. Any other means of talking the subject, I think might get ME thrown out. _L_ * * * Growing old is manditory. Growing wise is optional. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 1999, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/46 "1999-07-09T19:49:00Z")
> [@](#): > > You know? If we are talking evolution and such, then the traits that show up are > the ones that enable the species to survive… in other words, what helps the > species to reproduce. ## This is just a pet peeve, but it’s more correct to say, “the traits that show up are the ones that don’t cause the species to die out.” Its a common misconception that all the traits of a species must have had some evolutionary advantage. That’s not necessarily true. Some traits are just there, you know? It might have sprung up as a random mutation, and as long as it wasn’t a DISadvantage, it would continue to be propagated. And a lot of traits that once served a specific purpose, but are no longer necessary, will continue to hang around - the appendix, for example. “For what a man had rather were true, he more readily believes” - Francis Bacon ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 1999, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/47 "1999-07-09T22:13:00Z")
Sara. For a rundown on acronyms on the 'Net, check “About this message board.” I’l give the short version to you: ASF = and so forth WAG = wild assed guess Interesting enough, I find I’m too nice to women. Not an advantage so far in life, I tell you. Want to exchange more explicit experience…? I’m game. 😉 ct ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 1999, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/48 "1999-07-10T07:12:00Z")
Mark:: I agree with you completely. Thank you for rephrasing that statement. :0) I’ll try and remember that next time I try to go for the “easy” answer. 🙂 Charlie:: Thanks for that info. I’m bad about going to the HELP directory… something akin to my father asking for directions. _L_ Too nice to women? What exactly IS too nice to women? * * * Growing old is manditory. Growing wise is optional. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 1999, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/49 "1999-07-11T15:12:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Too nice to women? What exactly IS too nice to women? This is really going off on a tangent, so I’ll keep it short: I find that, when dating a woman, being attentive, friendly, polite, honest and … Oh, simply nice, this is awarded with becoming a very good friend, who eventually gets to hear her complaining about the bastard she’s dating and having sex with. Now, if I’m indifferent, cool, a bit sloppy about showing up on time, and … generally being a bastard, get to take her to bed. Women don’t like nice men, they want big bad brutish fellas (not really brutal, just giving an air of being so). How’s that for a sweeping statement? 🙂 ct ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 1999, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/50 "1999-07-11T16:05:00Z")
> [@](#): > > This is really going off on a tangent, so I’ll keep it short: I find that, when dating a woman, being attentive, friendly, polite, honest and … Oh, simply nice, this is awarded with becoming a very good friend, who eventually gets to hear her complaining about the bastard she’s dating and having sex with. Has there been a thread about this? I’d be interested in discussing this as I HAVE seen women like that but certainly think they’re more the exception than the rule. I also wonder who’d want to date them anyway except some sadist? If there isn’t a thread, perhaps we shall make one ;). ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 1999, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/51 "1999-07-11T21:56:00Z")
Topolino. You know, of course that your nick is the name of Mickey Mouse in Italy!? I was thinking this, when I wrote the post. It was in no way trolling, but women I know tend to agree. Nice guys don’t get nearly as many dates as the ones who’re not so nice. Will you do us the honor of picking a forum and starting this thread, and maybe we can come back to topic here, if it isn’t exhausted by now. ct ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 1999, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/52 "1999-07-12T00:06:00Z")
I’m with Charlie on this one. I have always found the more piggish braggarts to be A) sick, and B) horrifying. I have a lot of female friends, and… one amazing soul mate. She and I became friends, then awesome friends…long before we became lovers. It ain’t the disposition of flesh, it’s the inclination of the cerebral cortex. 🙂 Power to yas, all who love love as much as we love lust. Typer ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 1999, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/53 "1999-07-17T18:38:00Z")
Charlie, how’s this for a broad generalization: For men, sex is at least partly a visual thing, for women, less so. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 1999, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/54 "1999-07-17T20:08:00Z")
Actually, men are primarily visually oriented when it comes to sex, and women are primarily touch & emotion oriented. (This was told to me by a sex therapist) ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 1999, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/55 "1999-07-19T21:00:00Z")
Rich & Zyada: A friend of mine once said that men can get horny from looking at a picture of a sexy woman. A woman can look at a picture of a sexy man, like the way he looks, but not get horny. I’ve asked women about this, and they confirm it. Maybe that’s why porn doesn’t work all that well with women. It’s based on the visual. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/56 "1999-07-28T15:34:00Z")
Actually, many perfectly straight women get horny looking at pictures of naked _women_. (This has been seriously checked in lab experiments with brain-wave readings and stuff, and it happens much too often to explain it away as “unadmitted lesbian tendencies”.) The best guess is that, because naked women are _supposed_ to be sexy, they carry the message either way. It’s not exactly common, but not exactly rare, either, for married couples to visit strip clubs together. * * * John W. Kennedy “Compact is becoming contract; man only earns and pays.” – Charles Williams ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/57 "1999-07-28T20:13:00Z")
the original post claimed > [@](#): > > the scientists said that women are the only fems of any species who have breasts, even when they’re not producing milk. Other animals just have nipples, till it’s time to breastfeed. Is this really true? Do cows have udders only when they’re producing milk? If a cow is being raised for beef rather than for milk, is there no noticable udder? ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/58 "1999-07-28T21:09:00Z")
I once read a parody of “Playboy” which included a spoof of the cartoon feature “Little Annie Fanny,” itself a spoof of “Little Orphan Annie.” “Annie Fanny” is ultra-breasted and seems to lose her clothes in every story. In the parody, titled “Little Orphan Bosom,” the buxom title character constantly falls on her face–literally. At one point she meets a group of nursing women who call themselves “Our Nation’s Mothers,” and one says that breasts are for “nursing babies and NOT for salacious display to men!” Little Orphan Bosom answers, “Golly, Our Nation’s Mothers, how many babies would there be to nurse WITHOUT men?” Our Nation’s Mothers had no reply. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 1999, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/59 "1999-07-28T23:39:00Z")
LONG thread but what did I expect? Some random thoughts and answers: KEEVES, yeh the beef BREEDS have smaller udders than the milk BREEDS. LADIES WITH BIGUNS: Understand about the back aches and boorish men ,but aren’t you glad God got that udder idea out of his system before he got around to humans? ( Gallagher I think) STERLING: I’ve seen those ads . They are similar to those ,um, cylendrical vacuum pumps for guys and work just as well, which is NOT. (Wonder if they feel as good , not that I am speaking from experience.) Zayada: You said that the SAME hormones that cause BIG breasts cause Big hips.At some time in a woman’s life some hormones kick in and her breasts develop and her hips widen. But I don’t know that they are the same ones. Besides I don’t think its the hormones that determine size but genetics. Did you mean genes? I don’t think the same genes determine hip and breast size. There are a lot of women who are not in 'proportion, so to speak. SOMEBODY: asked ‘Why aren’t mens nipples sensitive’ or similar. Welllllll… next time you get the chance, put a lip lock on your man and do what you like him to do with you. I think you’ll reconsider your opinion. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 1999, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273/60 "1999-07-29T14:32:00Z")
I believe that MrJohn is actually confirming my point when he writes > [@](#): > > the beef BREEDS have smaller udders than the milk BREEDS. You seem to be saying that that beef breeds do have udders even when they are not nursing, just like women have breasts even when not nursing. In sharp contrast to dogs, horses, etc, which have only nipples, and no large round milk tanks. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-exist-to-make-men-happy/2273.md?page=4)