# Boobs for boobs **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [March 22, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371 "2009-03-22T19:45:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/21 "2009-03-23T00:25:01Z")
1. Doesn’t thrill me, but as long as the signal-to-noise ratio remains as high as it generally seems to be, it’s not that big a deal. 2. Doesn’t thrill me, but I’m not into flirty threads in general so debating the details is not my business. 3. Frankly, if we’re not asking for new rules, but rather encouraging self-policing, I’m not sure I’m in favor of promoting junior mod-type behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/22 "2009-03-23T00:34:17Z")
I’d like to ask the OP or anyone else: is anyone aware of any threads about some substantive medical issues like mammograms or breast cancer that gets sidetracked or interrupted by boob jokes? I am not. I would put such interruption into a different category. So I guess my question is – are there any actual historical threads that would fit in such a category – which would be the only one I could imagine regulating in some manner. ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/23 "2009-03-23T00:52:24Z")
1. The thing is that asking to see a girl’s boobs is not flirting. Try it in real life and let me know how it went (post cellphone pictures from the ER). So as a man who likes boobs, it doesn’t bother me when others do, except in that it makes other guys’ job harder by repelling women. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/24 "2009-03-23T00:59:08Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I’d like to ask the OP or anyone else: is anyone aware of any threads about some substantive medical issues like mammograms or breast cancer that gets sidetracked or interrupted by boob jokes? I am not. No, I’m not either. (And, BTW, although the OP, I’m not really invested in this issue – I was just getting frustrated with the circularity of the Pit thread and wanted to see if there was any kind of agreement on some of the underlying issues. Doesn’t look like it – how unusual for this place! 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/25 "2009-03-23T02:16:03Z")
I can’t find the thread (maybe it’s older than we can search for?), but there was once a GQ question from a woman who had spontaneously started lactating. She wanted to know if this was anything to be concerned about. I advised her to see a doctor because it could be a sign of a serious health problem like a [pituitary tumor](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pituitary_tumor). Another poster said I was a spoilsport and that the OP should ignore me because her symptom sounded really hot. I don’t remember if anyone actually asked for photos, though. The whole thing sticks in my mind because the only reason I know about pituitary tumors is because I developed one as a teenager. I’ll skip the details of my medical file, but I’d have been a lot better off if it had been diagnosed earlier than it was. It upsets me to think that embarrassment over the possibility of stupid boobie jokes might keep a young Doper from asking the question that would lead to her (or him, for that matter) being diagnosed early and avoiding everything else I had to go through. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/26 "2009-03-23T02:27:22Z")
**Lamia** , do you not see a difference between a thread about a pitituary tumor and “gee-this-bra-makes-me-look-hot”? I completely agree that a juvenile crack in the first thread is inappropriate. Offensive? Not hardly. In the second thread, why start a thread like that if you’re not anticipating some kind of childish remarks. They are boobies after all. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/27 "2009-03-23T02:45:02Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > **Lamia** , do you not see a difference between a thread about a pitituary tumor and “gee-this-bra-makes-me-look-hot”? I was answering **Boyo Jim** ’s question about medical threads that were interrupted by boobie jokes. He wanted to know if there ever actually had been any, and I was describing the one that I remember. Since I still can’t find the thread I guess it’s possible I’m badly misremembering it, but I’m pretty sure such a thing has happened at least once. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/28 "2009-03-23T02:53:16Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > 1. Does it bother you when guys come into threads about “women-talk” (bras, PMS, mammograms) and make boob jokes? > > **As others have said, it would bother me in the context of a serious health condition discussion. I’d report that under DBAJ and hope that would be enforced. It doesn’t bother me in the context of general whining about bras, PMS, mammograms. If you choose to discuss those topics in a mixed-sex internet forum, IMHO you’re kind of putting it out there.** > > 1. Does it bother you when guys make “Cite?” or other similar jokes in response to a reference to breasts if that post is in an MPSIMS-type thread with much flirting, joking, and bantering? > > **No. It is just the normal course of in jokes around here. I actually kind of like the ebb and flow of in jokes, in general. And if we were to sanction these comments, I think in fairness we’d have to enforce the type of comment that openly invites them. Boring. That might drive me back to the HR professionals’ board …** > > 1. If there is agreement that this behavior is, in at least some cases, immature and/or obnoxious, how can we deal with this going forward? One suggestion is that we just all agree to flag such behavior with a “knock it off” and a link to this thread in the future. Are there other possible solutions? \*\*I can think of a few suggestions: PMs to people you want to give a heads up that they are crossing a line, like some new member who doesn’t realize something’s been done to death in the past. Let’s not get all junior moddy in the threads, though. Another suggestion is that if you really don’t want to flirt, maybe add “I’m not here to flirt” to your sig line. Or if as an OP you really want Serious Discsussion Only in a bra/mammogram/PMS thread, request that in the thread title. Finally, picking a moniker that makes you sound older and less attractive than you really are, like Harriet, seems to cut way down on the flirting. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/29 "2009-03-23T02:56:56Z")
It’s the bra threads getting inane remarks like, “Let me just walk behind you and hold them” that annoys me. Women posting in threads about how to find a good bra are not flirting or talking about their breasts in a sexual way. It would be nice if people could refrain from making booby jokes in those threads. Is it the end of the world if they do? No, but it is thread shitting, and it contributes nothing to the thread except possibly making some of the women posting in it feel uncomfortable about having the conversation at all. What could be done about it? I don’t know. Is this sort of stuff covered under the DBAJ rule? If I reported the “walk behind you and hold them” comment, what would happen, if anything? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/30 "2009-03-23T03:06:21Z")
1. Does it bother you when guys come into threads about “women-talk” (bras, PMS, mammograms) and make boob jokes? **No, I chalk it up under the typical “joke I had to make” other comments. No different, except for the flirtiness, of say a “Hi Opal!” or whatnot.** 1. Does it bother you when guys make “Cite?” or other similar jokes in response to a reference to breasts if that post is in an MPSIMS-type thread with much flirting, joking, and bantering? **No, I see it as harmless flirting, no different than the occasional and sometimes expected “How _you_ doin’?” bit. Just grease that uncogs the wheels, it seems.** 1. If there is agreement that this behavior is, in at least some cases, immature and/or obnoxious, how can we deal with this going forward? One suggestion is that we just all agree to flag such behavior with a “knock it off” and a link to this thread in the future. Are there other possible solutions? **Linking to the xkcd comic is about as far as I’m willing to go. Otherwise if it bothered me, I’d expect _myself_ [note: I’m just talking about ME here, no one else] to grow a thicker skin. Because someone is always going to be saying _something_ you don’t like at one time or another. \< shrug \>** ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/31 "2009-03-23T03:10:19Z")
When women are talking about their breasts, you shouldn’t be making any sexual comments. When women are talking about their boobs, you’re allowed to make jokes. When women are talking about their tits, you’re allowed to make rude comments, flirt, and ask for pictures. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/32 "2009-03-23T03:14:48Z")
The juvenile boob jokes in “women-talk” threads bother me only in the way that other boring posts bother me. I feel like my eight-year-old brother is running through the room saying, “fart bubble.” It probably is better to ignore those comments. I suspect they come from those who are fairly new to the subject. It seems fair enough for someone to ask for a “Cite” if breasts have been mentioned in an MPSIMS-type thread and there has been a light-hearted spirit in the thread – especially if the posts have been flirtatious. After all, we are talking about cyber breasts here. > [@](#): > > If there is agreement that this behavior is, in at least some cases, immature and/or obnoxious, how can we deal with this going forward? One suggestion is that we just all agree to flag such behavior with a “knock it off” and a link to this thread in the future. Are there other possible solutions? It seems as if we are not all going to agree. We have some really nice guys in here, but I didn’t particularly expect them to be sensitive to this issue the way that some women are. Even though it would be cool to have some topics “for women only” or “for men only,” I’m more opposed to gender discrimination and censorship than I am to the juvenile comments. To each his own solution. > [@](#): > > **Sapo** : The thing is that asking to see a girl’s boobs is not flirting. Try it in real life and let me know how it went (post cellphone pictures from the ER). Do you really think that it is _uncommon_ for a man to ask to see a woman’s boobs? If she is not with a male, the comment can come in simply passing a stranger – on the street, in a restaurant, at school, at a party – just about anyplace. And I doubt that most women are going to be sending them to the ER for this. I vaporize them instead. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/33 "2009-03-23T03:18:22Z")
1. Does it bother you when guys come into threads about “women-talk” (bras, PMS, mammograms) and make boob jokes? Not particularly. I suppose if someone badgered others with repeated demands to “show us your tits!” in the same thread, or every thread, it would be unpleasant, but I don’t recall anything like that happening. 2. Does it bother you when guys make “Cite?” or other similar jokes in response to a reference to breasts if that post is in an MPSIMS-type thread with much flirting, joking, and bantering? Nope. 3. If there is agreement that this behavior is, in at least some cases, immature and/or obnoxious, how can we deal with this going forward? One suggestion is that we just all agree to flag such behavior with a “knock it off” and a link to this thread in the future. Are there other possible solutions? That solution would be more irritating than the remarks themselves, since there’d be the remarks then other posts further derailing threads. I propose an alternative solution. Each person annoyed by the request of “Show us your tits!” should consistently be respond [like this](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tufted_Titmouse). And “Show us your boobs!” [like this](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-footed_Booby). Just links, no outraged comments. I think the questions would lose their charms after a while if that was the only response it provoked. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/34 "2009-03-23T03:28:59Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > Do you really think that it is _uncommon_ for a man to ask to see a woman’s boobs? If she is not with a male, the comment can come in simply passing a stranger – on the street, in a restaurant, at school, at a party – just about anyplace. And I doubt that most women are going to be sending them to the ER for this. I vaporize them instead. Yes, I think it’s uncommon in real life for adult men to ask women if they can see their boobs. Maybe it’s just me, but it has rarely if ever happened to me since I got out of college. In fact, the only times in recent memory I’ve even witnessed such comments is right here on the good old SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/35 "2009-03-23T03:43:16Z")
Only if we make another rule, that any time you post a pic, no one is allowed to comment how good you look, ask “how you doin’?” or any other encouraging statements. Of course, pics of cats do not fall under this category. I’ve noticed that the page views for threads that detail women’s sort of issues get a higher number than most. See bra threads, diva cup threads, etc. The fact is, most men are fairly clueless about such things and one classic way for a guy to pipe up and let folks know he is there is to make a stupid joke. I’ll take 15 cites for every guy that has learned quite a bit about a woman’s life from our rather revealing conversations. Even this one. Frankly, it is worth the risk. ---
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/36 "2009-03-23T04:21:24Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > Yes, I think it’s uncommon in real life for adult men to ask women if they can see their boobs. Maybe it’s just me, but it has rarely if ever happened to me since I got out of college. In fact, the only times in recent memory I’ve even witnessed such comments is right here on the good old SDMB. That’s because IRL, men can already see your boobs without asking. Yes, they’re encased in a bra, a top, and possibly a jacket or coat, but that’s still more than anyone can see on a message board. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/37 "2009-03-23T04:43:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Only if we make another rule, that any time you post a pic, no one is allowed to comment how good you look, ask “how you doin’?” or any other encouraging statements. Funny was that time someone posted that she had just got a great looking miniskirt or something like that. And sure enough somebody else posted the typical “how ya doin?” and “jpeg!” comments. To which the first poster answered that she didn’t think that was a good idea because she was just fifteen years old. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/38 "2009-03-23T05:16:08Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I can’t find the thread (maybe it’s older than we can search for?), but there was once a GQ question from a woman who had spontaneously started lactating. She wanted to know if this was anything to be concerned about. I advised her to see a doctor because it could be a sign of a serious health problem like a [pituitary tumor](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pituitary_tumor). Another poster said I was a spoilsport and that the OP should ignore me because her symptom sounded really hot. I don’t remember if anyone actually asked for photos, though. See, now that I’d support an official warning for. That’s just uncalled-for. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/39 "2009-03-23T05:19:59Z")
1. Doesn’t bother me. 2. Doesn’t bother me. 3. Nothing to deal with. No need to expatiate, **Boyo Jim** said it all perfectly. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/40 "2009-03-23T09:39:00Z")
I don’t see it as a big deal. They are posts that are very easy to pass right over. That goes for any subject. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371.md?page=3)