# Boobs for boobs **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [March 22, 2009, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371 "2009-03-22T19:45:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/41 "2009-03-23T09:51:05Z")
> [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](#): > > Or if as an OP you really want Serious Discsussion Only in a bra/mammogram/PMS thread, request that in the thread title. Or in any thread you’re not comfortable being flirted at, really. If you’re fine with the boob jokes, all well and good; if you’re not, announce in the OP - or anywhere later in the thread, if you’re feeling harassed - that it’s Virtual Burqa On, and any guy who persists in making tit jokes is being a creep. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/42 "2009-03-23T11:50:09Z")
1. Does it bother you when guys come into threads about “women-talk” (bras, PMS, mammograms) and make boob jokes? It bothers me because it is so predictable and cliche. 1. Does it bother you when guys make “Cite?” or other similar jokes in response to a reference to breasts if that post is in an MPSIMS-type thread with much flirting, joking, and bantering? I get embarassed for the person making the “joke.” 1. If there is agreement that this behavior is, in at least some cases, immature and/or obnoxious, how can we deal with this going forward? One suggestion is that we just all agree to flag such behavior with a “knock it off” and a link to this thread in the future. Are there other possible solutions? This would take more energy than I have, to be honest. There are thousands of people posting here, many of whom think “cite” in regards to a mention of boobs to be the height of wit. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/43 "2009-03-23T12:16:07Z")
I’m with \*\*fisha \*\*on this one. Once someone says they have an amazing physical characteristic, for them to claim harassment when they are asked about it seems silly. Methinks they doth protest too much. Otherwise, yeah, standard DBOJ would seem to apply… ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/44 "2009-03-23T16:01:55Z")
I rarely do any of this “flirting”. But some of it has become a custom and a tradition here. Not to long ago, a female poster said some things which indicated she was a “good catch”, and I responded with the now almost obligatory “How _yew_ doin’?” whereupon she effusively thanked me as she had been posting for a long time, and no dude had ever posted that 'reply" to any of her posts. I was walking down a street with a 40-something professional woman, dressed int he usual business suit-skirt and heels. She got wolf-whistles and cat-calls from construction workers. She was clearly annoyed, until I said “But think how you’d feel if they \*didn’t \*whistle?” wherpon she laughed and agreed I had a point. Now, sure- sometimes it’s really inappropriate. If it is a serious discussion, any silly joke is inappropriate, imho. ---
**Author:** ![Blaster\_Master](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cab0a1/32.png) [@Blaster\_Master](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blaster_Master)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/45 "2009-03-23T17:55:37Z")
In this particular case, I thought the reaction was immature and cliché, but I don’t think it’s something that deserves to be made such a big deal. The OP specifically made a mention of how good her boobs looked so, while lame, it is as perfect of an opportunity as any to take advantage of the meme. OTOH, if she had just mentioned the shirt, without any sidenote on her breasts, and someone asked how the shirt made them look or a thread where it’s impossible to discuss the topic without mentioning breasts and it’s clearly out of the tone (like the one mentioned upthread where it could have been a medical problem), then it’s over the line. Really, my observation is that this is really a symptom of a larger problem, of people thinking they’re funny by making jokes that we’ve all heard a thousand times before, and it’s not limited to this sort of thing. I think people going into threads about religion, where the topic isn’t about whether God exists or not, and saying something like “This thread is pointless because god doesn’t exist” or going into political threads, where the topic isn’t how evil one party or the other is, and say something about how evil a party is. So, sure, I don’t think the particular thread that spawned this discussion is exactly an example, since the tone of the thread wasn’t particularly clear and the comments were inadvertently invited, but it is an opportunity to bring to light the behavior as a whole and how it is disrespectful and leads to sidetracking legitimate discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/46 "2009-03-23T19:23:42Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > The juvenile boob jokes in “women-talk” threads bother me only in the way that other boring posts bother me. I feel like my eight-year-old brother is running through the room saying, “fart bubble.” It probably is better to ignore those comments. I suspect they come from those who are fairly new to the subject. > > It seems fair enough for someone to ask for a “Cite” if breasts have been mentioned in an MPSIMS-type thread and there has been a light-hearted spirit in the thread – especially if the posts have been flirtatious. After all, we are talking about cyber breasts here. Agree with both these points, I had the same “eight year old fart joke” thought - although if the ratio of eight year olds making fart jokes in a thread becomes overwhelming, it moves to annoying. The first guy gets a break as merely juvenile. The eighth guy starts moving to “trying to derail the thread” - and boob jokes are NEVER appropriate in threads about lumps or cancer. That’s just jerkish - even for the first guy. However, when the person at whom the boob jokes are directed says that the attention in unwanted, regardless of my feelings on the matter, its inappropriate to continue the attention - even if its in a flirty MPSIMS thread. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/47 "2009-03-23T22:09:22Z")
> [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](#): > > Another suggestion is that if you really don’t want to flirt, maybe add “I’m not here to flirt” to your sig line. Or if as an OP you really want Serious Discsussion Only in a bra/mammogram/PMS thread, request that in the thread title. Maybe if someone wants to have a flirt thread, they should put _that_ in the thread title. This is not primarily a dating site, so I don’t think the default assumption should be that every thread is about flirting. If flirt threads were clearly labeled then everyone would know where suggestive comments were welcome and could make them there instead of in other threads where people are looking for information, debate, sympathy, jokes that are actually funny, etc. Since there are also a fair number of Dopers who aren’t interested in flirt threads anyway, they’d easily know which threads to avoid. (As things are you can _usually_, but not _always_, tell before opening one.) This is how “Recreational Outrage” threads are handled in the Pit. A lot of Pit posters (Pitizens?) didn’t like seeing so many threads that were just about news stories that made the OP angry. Although I don’t believe it’s an official rule, if someone is posting such a thread in the Pit now then they typically put “RO” in the subject line as a courtesy. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/48 "2009-03-23T22:54:53Z")
> [@](#): > > Maybe if someone wants to have a flirt thread, they should put that in the thread title. This is not primarily a dating site, so I don’t think the default assumption should be that every thread is about flirting. If flirt threads were clearly labeled then everyone would know where suggestive comments were welcome and could make them there instead of in other threads where people are looking for information, debate, sympathy, jokes that are actually funny, etc. In my opinion, if somebody starts a thread about dating and the type of people they find attractive, it’s not too far a drift if it turns into a flirt thread. ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/49 "2009-03-23T22:58:12Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > In my opinion, if somebody starts a thread about dating and the type of people they find attractive, it’s not too far a drift if it turns into a flirt thread. Pig! ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/50 "2009-03-23T23:10:25Z")
Pigs can have up to 14 boobs. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/51 "2009-03-23T23:17:18Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > Pigs can have up to 14 boobs. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/52 "2009-03-23T23:36:08Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > In my opinion, if somebody starts a thread about dating and the type of people they find attractive, it’s not too far a drift if it turns into a flirt thread. It seems a pretty far drift if the thread is “Help me find a bra that fits well”, though. I don’t think it should be necessary to specify that a thread about clothing advice, health concerns, etc., was NOT intended as a flirting thread. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2009, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/53 "2009-03-23T23:57:42Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > It seems a pretty far drift if the thread is “Help me find a bra that fits well”, though. I don’t think it should be necessary to specify that a thread about clothing advice, health concerns, etc., was NOT intended as a flirting thread. Missed the edit window. FWIW, I don’t consider all flirting to be inappropriate in serious but not THAT serious threads, like those asking for clothing advice. I wouldn’t be bothered by something like “You sound pretty cute ;)” or the famous “How YOU doin’?” in such a context, as long as people stopped if the OP requested it and the flirtatious comments were part of on-topic posts and not just drive-bys. (Off-topic drive-bys being in and of themselves annoying.) It’s crude remarks and specific requests to see or grope a poster’s body that I object to. I’d prefer not to see a comment like “[Depending on what you look like I may volunteer to walk behind you wherever you go, holding up your boobs](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10946073&postcount=27)” even in a flirt thread, but since I don’t usually participate in flirt threads anyway then if they were to ONLY appear in such threads I wouldn’t really care. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/54 "2009-03-24T00:31:18Z")
1. I would not do it. I would probably think to myself: \*asshole \*if someone else did it. I wouldn’t think about it again after. 2. I may have done it once, maybe even twice, but am unlikely to do it (I don’t recall ever doing it, but my memory is for shit so - maybe.) To be honest, I often even hesitate telling women that I think that they are attractive, because I don’t want to come off as the creepy internet stalker. But back to the question: It doesn’t upset me and I wouldn’t even think about it again later. 3. I agree with whomever said it was too close to jr. modding. I don’t encourage it and believe it will start a trend of people thinking it is OK to jr. mod. IMO, just pit the guy, isn’t that what the pit is for? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/55 "2009-03-24T00:57:31Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > Cite? [Cite](http://www.cababstractsplus.org/abstracts/Abstract.aspx?AcNo=19760125977). ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/56 "2009-03-24T02:43:24Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > [Cite](http://www.cababstractsplus.org/abstracts/Abstract.aspx?AcNo=19760125977). I was hoping for a picture, baby. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/57 "2009-03-24T05:02:51Z")
> [@](#): > > It seems a pretty far drift if the thread is “Help me find a bra that fits well”, though. I don’t think it should be necessary to specify that a thread about clothing advice, health concerns, etc., was NOT intended as a flirting thread. I agree. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/58 "2009-03-24T05:35:29Z")
> [@](#): > > **DrDeth** : …until I said “But think how you’d feel if they didn’t whistle?” wherpon she laughed and agreed I had a point. But many women would disagree with you. We live our lives just fine when the guys **don’t** whistle. Actually, we don’t even think about the fact that they’re not whistling. You can never be sure how a woman takes those whistles. In the movies she was always secretly pleased. When I was young and lived downtown, I was getting over a very damaging childhood and adolescence. My self-concept had nothing to do with reality. When construction workers whistled at me, I thought it was because I was so unattractive that they were making fun of me. I felt humiliated. I rationalized the comments about my breasts by thinking that the men making the comments thought that I was “low life.” (That was one of the terms we used then.) Not all women look at these comments and reactions the same way. And, apparently, not all of us have the same experiences. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/59 "2009-03-24T09:32:12Z")
I think to discuss this topic appropriately the OP needs to post pictures of her boobs so we can pscyhoanalyze her underlying motivations. (My real response: give me a friggin’ break. Boobs are miracle mounds. We’re not gonna pretend they’re not.) ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2009, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371/60 "2009-03-24T11:20:24Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > I think to discuss this topic appropriately the OP needs to post pictures of her boobs so we can pscyhoanalyze her underlying motivations. > (My real response: give me a friggin’ break. Boobs are miracle mounds. We’re not gonna pretend they’re not.) Miracle mounds? What does that have to do with the question at hand, which is that it’s really annoying when men post dumb “flirt” comments in bra threads and other inappropriate places? I don’t think that is asking you to pretend they’re not “miracle mounds.” It’s asking you to have some judgment about when you post dumb “flirt” comments. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boobs-for-boobs/490371.md?page=4)