# Books that will never be written! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 4, 2000, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632 "2000-11-04T01:09:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/41 "2000-11-04T19:58:51Z")
_The Day Rastahomie Got a Good Job_ by **Anybody** _Why You Should Go Visit Universal Studios Florida_ by **Michael Eisner** ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/42 "2000-11-04T20:03:53Z")
_Why I Finally Broke Down and Let My Husband Buy a PlayStationII_ by **Mrs. Rastahomie** ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/43 "2000-11-04T20:38:30Z")
The English language, by Anniz.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/44 "2000-11-04T21:14:43Z")
How to Appeal to Members of the Human Race Above the Age of Thirty- Cast of Dawson’s Creek The Fine Art of Articulation- Kurt Cobain Appreciating People No Matter How Different They Are- Dr. Laura Donuts: Eating Your Way to a Coronary Bypass- Homer Simpson Medical School: Years of Hard Work and Hell- Dr. Nick Riveria ---
**Author:** ![Medea\_s\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Medea\_s\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Medea_s_Child)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/45 "2000-11-04T21:18:42Z")
_Time Management_ by Medea’s Child ---
**Author:** ![Wood\_Thrush](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b38774/32.png) [@Wood\_Thrush](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wood_Thrush)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/46 "2000-11-04T22:39:18Z")
_Picking A Nick That Sticks_ by **Anthracite**. Forward by **UnaVixen**. ---
**Author:** ![rs0522](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9a28c/32.png) [@rs0522](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rs0522)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/47 "2000-11-04T22:43:48Z")
‘The Story of My Presidency’ by Al Gore. ---
**Author:** ![Gregor\_Samsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@Gregor\_Samsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gregor_Samsa)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/48 "2000-11-04T23:04:38Z")
_Just Say No_, by Timothy Leary (forward by Bob Marley). _I Always Pay Up When I Lose a Bet_, by [jti and odieman.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=36083) ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/49 "2000-11-04T23:11:32Z")
**Great Swiss Naval Battles** by _Arnold Winklereid_ **Lighting Effects for Radio Broadcast Production** by _Douglas Trumbull_ ---
**Author:** ![PowerpuffKue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@PowerpuffKue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PowerpuffKue)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2000, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/50 "2000-11-04T23:18:58Z")
The Holocaust was Wrong, so was Hitler -Pat Buchanan Free Money, Communism and the 57 Percent Tax -Ralph Nader How to be called a Liberal and a Conservative -Bill O’Reilly Making a Marriage Work -Eminem Will Power -Bill Clinton Staying Healthy During the Hockey Season-Saku Koivu\* Men Are Cool -Alanis Morissette The Many Wonders of The Penis -Mellisa Etherage \*Gotta be a hockey fan for this one ---
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2000, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/51 "2000-11-05T03:29:01Z")
_A Boxing Promoter’s Handbook of Ethical Guidelines_ _Chicken Soup for the Stomach_ ---
**Author:** ![toonerama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecae2f/32.png) [@toonerama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toonerama)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2000, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/52 "2000-11-05T03:32:19Z")
“I understand everything about life but decided to pack it in early” ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/53 "2000-11-05T04:23:00Z")
_The penis appreciation book_ by andygirl _Why yes, it is a choice_ by Hasteur _Old movies suck and other revelations_ by Eve _Will someone stop those damned bagpipes?_ by Kilt-Wearin’ Man _8 glasses of water a day for better health_ by Uncle Beer _My life as an academic_ by Jack Dean Tyler _How to be a private person_ by SPOOFE and Homer ---
**Author:** ![Gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2000, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/54 "2000-11-05T04:28:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andygirl \* > \*\*_The penis appreciation book_ by andygirl > \*\* Too bad…I’d buy it. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2000, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/55 "2000-11-05T07:12:50Z")
Thought of some more: _The beauty of groundhogs_ by Scylla _Francis Bacon was Shakespeare_ by DRY _Waxing philosophical: in depth analysis of my finest posts_ by Silent Bob _Why Budweiser is the superior brew_ by Coldfire _What the hell are you asking me for?_ by Esprix _Why speaking only one language is a good thing_ by matt\_mcl ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2000, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/56 "2000-11-05T12:10:55Z")
My book will never be written, because I’m too damn lazy to write it. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/57 "2000-11-05T23:54:57Z")
_Won’t somebody **please** think of the children?!: Why Marijuana is Destroying American Culture_ by Harry Browne. _Secrets of a Successful Marriage II_ by Ross Gellar (He of “Friends”) _Complete Idiots Guide to Grammar_ by George W. Bush (Foreward by Dan Quayle)- sorry if someone’s already done an idea like this _Living in the Shadow of a Great Man: Agonizing Years of Hell_ by Ed Zotti (…actually maybe he WOULD write a book like this…) ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/58 "2000-11-06T07:27:19Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by andygirl \* > Will someone stop those damned bagpipes? by Kilt-Wearin’ Man_\* Right up there with “Kilt-wearin’ Man’s Guide to Polka Music” ---
**Author:** ![Stimpy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/779978/32.png) [@Stimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stimpy)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/59 "2000-11-06T07:51:27Z")
The Bible II - in my own words… by God The Art of Calm (or How to think like you have 9 lives)… by Ren The Bible II (supplemental addition) - The 10 Amendments ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632/60 "2000-11-07T18:00:25Z")
- Acting, The Craft \* - Melanie Griffith - 10 Minute Meals on a Budget \* - Martha Stewart - How to Say ‘No’ to a Job Offer \* - Regis Philbin - The Art of Seduction \* - Al Gore - Guilty As Charged \* - Alan Dershowitz - Living within Your Means \* - Toni Braxton [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/books-that-will-never-be-written/39632.md?page=4)