# Boomers: Why Do People Act Old Before They Are? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 18, 2006, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112 "2006-02-18T19:40:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2006, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/41 "2006-02-21T15:41:26Z")
I’m 27 (or, I will be in about a week…) and my parents are nearing 60. They married at 18, Dad went off to Vietnam, Mom worked in a bank… pretty typical 1960s newlyweds. Tried to have kids right away, etc. They still listen to classic rock (my dad doesn’t buy music, he still has one rolling stones tape from like, 1990), but we have a pretty good classic rock station here. My mom loves the Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel. They are liberal to a fault, but they might look old and conservative. Dad wears nothing but golf clothes and they live on a golf course. They also take random weekend trips all over the country. They called me one weekend and said “oh yeah, we’re in vegas”. From the outside, they might look like all the typical ‘old’ boomers you might see, but they’ve still got a spark. ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2006, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/42 "2006-02-21T17:24:46Z")
Age 63 here and getting ready to retire to our sailboat for the voyage of a lifetime. I’m a war baby - a few years older than the boomers. Too young to be a Beatnik and too old to be a hippie. I think there are a few ways in which folks begin feel old. One is parental influence. Those of us who were rebellious in our youth will continue to be rebellious into our dotage. The ones who behaved “properly” will continue to follow their parents’ example for their whole lives and will drive Buicks at a sensible speed and dress as their parents did at the same age and listen to elevator music. The ones who’ve had hard physical jobs are simply pooped out at 60. My problem is that I don’t think that I feel any different now than I did at 35 even though time and gravity have been having their way with my appearance for some time. The “do your own thing” generation are still doing their own thing - it’s just that for every wild and crazy guy, there’s one in sandals and black socks. For every 60 year old dressed like her mother, there’s another one who’s dressed liker her granddaughter - saggy arms, belly rolls, brightly colored hair and all. I hope I fall somewhere in the middle. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2006, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/43 "2006-02-21T19:43:03Z")
> [@Veuve\_ClicquotNJ](#): > > This is something I’ve been wondering - about myself. I’m 44. I’m in good health, have a wide variety of interests, etc. I’m “fairly” progressive about music, _very_ open about film & books, but I still think I come across as stiff. I think a good deal of this is the huge fear I have about being thought of as “mutton dressed as lamb”. I’m _petrified_ to the point of stricture about the clothes I wear, and I’m certain this is why I won’t date men much younger than about 40 or so. I know I shouldn’t let what the Joneses think bother me, but you know - it does. I have to work this out somehow. > > VCNJ~ I can relate to this a LOT. Even though I still FEEL about 27, I sure don’t LOOK it anymore. But I don’t want to dress like an old woman, or even like a middle-aged woman. There’s nothing sadder than someone who is still trying to look like a teen-ager in his/her 40’s or 50’s. So I wear jeans and sweaters most of the time, and khakis and sweaters when I have to be a little more formal. It’s boring, but safe. ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2006, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/44 "2006-02-21T19:47:48Z")
> [@Archergal](#): > > I can relate to this a LOT. Even though I still FEEL about 27, I sure don’t LOOK it anymore. But I don’t want to dress like an old woman, or even like a middle-aged woman. There’s nothing sadder than someone who is still trying to look like a teen-ager in his/her 40’s or 50’s. > > So I wear jeans and sweaters most of the time, and khakis and sweaters when I have to be a little more formal. It’s boring, but safe. Thank God someone understands 😃 I lean towards twin sets, “little black dresses”, tailored suits, etc. I _do_ understand accessorizing, so I think I stay au courant in that respect. I just don’t feel “approachable” in my usual clothing, yet I freak out if I think I look _too_ young. I actually bought this top (in the “putty” color) [Ardenb.com](http://www.ardenb.com/shop/detail.asp?styleid=35739166&colorid=110&cat_id=1&sub_id=0) at Arden B yesterday; I tried it on and paid for it before I realized the average age of a shopper in that store was probably 17. It looks good on me, but it’s slightly off-the-shoulder and that of course puts me near paranoia. lol I have _got_ to get over myself. VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2006, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/45 "2006-02-21T23:28:42Z")
Hmm, I’m getting older. Just turned 37. I’m thinking that part of it is life experiences. You’re not taking that adventure trip because one week after you get back, the car will start to make funny noises and lights will begin flashing. The spontaneous trip doesn’t seem like such a good idea now that you’re facing a large repair bill. You move out of your diverse neigborhood because the little things, such as petty crime and panhandling finally push you out closer to the burbs. You hate suburbia, but replacing car windows every time you leave a kleenex in the back seat gets old fast. ---
**Author:** ![shorty1973](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@shorty1973](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shorty1973)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/46 "2014-12-24T08:55:25Z")
I found this thread looking to understand what makes some people act “old” while others age, but still retain youthful behaviors. I was born in 1973. I’m just a baby compared to many of you. But I increasingly notice how much more I empathize with the 20-somethings I work with than the 40-somethings that are my peers. It occurs to me that a fundamental question was not askeed. Why does the OP need to find “youthful” people her age.?Why not be open to the idea of enjoying the company of people who are mentally her age regardless of chronological age? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/47 "2014-12-24T15:15:19Z")
> [@OldBroad](#): > > Age 63 here and getting ready to retire to our sailboat for the voyage of a lifetime. I’m a war baby - a few years older than the boomers. Too young to be a Beatnik and too old to be a hippie. No, you’re exactly in the boomer demographic of 1946-1964, as am I at age 67. ---
**Author:** ![Shmendrik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Shmendrik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shmendrik)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/48 "2014-12-24T15:23:39Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > No, you’re exactly in the boomer demographic of 1946-1964, as am I at age 67. That post is from 2006. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/49 "2014-12-24T15:56:17Z")
> [@Shmendrik](#): > > That post is from 2006. Ah, crap. I hate it when that happens. Off to get a cup of coffee. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/50 "2014-12-24T16:54:17Z")
I don’t think this is a new phenomenon. In 1980, I was working with an older woman who was telling me about her mom. When her parents were dating, they used to go dancing and to picnics and whatever else people did for fun in the 1920s. Then they got married, and her mother decided she was now an adult and she needed to behave like one. Essentially, no more fun - it was time to be serious all the time. On a more personal note, as I’ve gotten older, I don’t want to be out all night, I don’t want to be in loud venues, I don’t want to drink, I don’t want the radio cranked up full blast in the car. I don’t enjoy these things. I’m a morning person, so staying up late is difficult. I don’t like to have to yell in order to have a conversation. Alcohol puts me to sleep, so I opt not to drink. And when I drive, I want to hear sirens and horns and other warnings. Does that make me old before my time, or just smarter than I used to be? I’m smack in the middle of the boomer demographic (1954) and while I’m not as nimble as I once was, I still like to go places and do things. I just like different things now. And for what it’s worth, I really like the music of the Big Band era. Is that “old people music”? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/51 "2014-12-24T17:27:36Z")
I think it’s basically three separate things at work: 1. There are people who were always kinda old, when you think about it. Already have several old the traits, even in their youth. Slow and steady, non risk taker types. As their appearance comes more in line with their traits it seems, from the outside, that they have become old before everyone else, when really they’ve kinda always been that person, we just didn’t see it that way when we were younger. 2. I honestly think a fair bit of this kind of talk is self confirming that ‘at least I’m not old like so and so!’, or a form of reassurance that we may be aging but we’re don’t look/act as old as this other person, who is my same age ‘can you believe it!’ I’m always suspect of people claiming firstly, they don’t really care about aging of course, “I’m not one of those!”, and it the next breath brag on how young they look.:dubious: 3. But mostly, I think it’s a function of aging and maturity to really not give a shit what anybody else thinks about how they dress or what music they listen to, where they hang out, or how they get their fun, staying in or going out. I think most people of maturity recognize how foolish it is to judge others based on these things, or their appearance, or their health! They are just plain comfortable with who they are and don’t give a shit what anybody else thinks! ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/52 "2014-12-24T18:19:29Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > On a more personal note, as I’ve gotten older, I don’t want to be out all night, I don’t want to be in loud venues, I don’t want to drink, I don’t want the radio cranked up full blast in the car. I don’t enjoy these things. I’m a morning person, so staying up late is difficult. I don’t like to have to yell in order to have a conversation. Alcohol puts me to sleep, so I opt not to drink. And when I drive, I want to hear sirens and horns and other warnings. Does that make me old before my time, or just smarter than I used to be? I’m smack in the middle of the boomer demographic (1954) and while I’m not as nimble as I once was, I still like to go places and do things. I just like different things now. And for what it’s worth, I really like the music of the Big Band era. Is that “old people music”? Now I can relate to a lot of that. A late night out is 10:00 p.m., and more than a few glasses of wine means trouble sleeping. The noise level in pubs is largely due, I think, to people losing their hearing at an earlier age. Everybody is shouting their conversations with each other, making it difficult for me to even hear what’s being said at my own table (part of that is my own hearing loss, of course). Even the noise level in many restaurants is above tolerable (what is with that donkey bray laughter that some women feel obligated to use?). I do crank music up in the car, but listen to jazz at home. I really detest smooth jazz and muzak, and my rock preferences pretty much stopped by the end of the 80s. I actively avoid old people activities; anything called a “wisdom circle” or some such bullshit sends me running in the other direction. The whole notion of “we older people have so much to offer the younger generation” just doesn’t ring true to me. No younger person (other than my kids) has ever asked me for my opinion on how to do something (other than possibly cooking or something in the construction arena), and I try not to offer an opinion if none is asked for, message boards notwithstanding. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/53 "2014-12-25T04:25:29Z")
> [@wonderlust](#): > > Boomers: Why Do People Act Old Before They Are? > > I’ve been wondering about this for twenty years or so. \*There are a whole lot of us Boomers. \*So why is it that it’s so hard to meet other people in my agerange (I’m now 50) who have similar interests? I grew up in Socal, so I recognize that some people who grew up in less progressive areas might not have experienced what I did in my youth. But still…tons of us listened to the same music, read sf&f, [just examples here, OTTOMH] enjoyed the same films, ate granola and all that that implies, shared similar sexual openness or political ideals. But as early as my late 20s in the working world, I found others of my age to be listening to crap “old people” music, reading best sellers or nothing at all, becoming more conservative and generally less open and flexible. It was hard, even then, to find similar people. Now, at 50, those with our generation’s characteristic approach to life seem to be rarer and rarer. > > Let me just clarify that I don’t cling to my lost youth as some way to avoid aging. I’m proud of my age and look forward to the changes ahead, and I never try desperate measures to “stay young”. I don’t dress in lowslung jeans with highslung thongs, nor do I want to pierce my navel or have plastic surgery. I just wonder why so many boomers start to dress old, think old, act old, and become more rigid generally, before they significantly biologically decline with age. I recognize that having a family and accumulating assets might change one’s viewpoint. Life experience teaches us new lessons, we discover new interests, change in many ways, but heck, I’ve done all that and it hasn’t changed the type of music I like (old or new), my interest in sf&f, my openness, nor my general view of the world… > > Am I an exception, or is there some cool hideout the rest of you boomers inhabit that I don’t know about? Come east. I’m 56, polyamorous, genderqueer, a rocker, anarchist, militant schizophrenic anti-psychiatric activist; my girlfriends take me to edgy theatrical performances, BDSM dungeons, protest marches and gender-bendy luncheons. (Well, yeah, we also sing in the choir and do dinner parties. Best of both worlds). NYC region for me, but the Washington DC area is also apparently pretty diverse and nonstodgy. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/54 "2014-12-25T05:14:45Z")
Be interesting if the original posters to this thread- from 8 years ago still have the same perspective. There is actually a chapter on this sort of thing in “You Are Not So Smart”. It deals with Confirmation Bias and how people see themselves at a certain age and again years later. Basically it says they don’t realise they have changed their attitudes- they have but they think they always had the same attitude. Many of my friends are in the Boomers range and I can’t say there is any commonality. Tastes in music vary greatly, as do political views. What I see as causes needing addressing others don’t- nothing really changes in that we had and still have differences. The one thing I would say is we are a lot less naive now. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/55 "2014-12-25T10:51:21Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > Be interesting if the original posters to this thread- from 8 years ago still have the same perspective. Aww dammit! Missed that! ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2014, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/56 "2014-12-25T11:09:32Z")
In the immortal words of the prophet Jagger, “I know, it’s only rock and roll, but I like it!” ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2014, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/57 "2014-12-29T02:45:15Z")
The phrase “old people’s music” sounds like something a person who has a rigid view might say. I am in my seventies, and I like really old music (classical), my parent’s music (big band), my music (jazz and R&R), my kid’s music (Pink Floyd); I’ve drawn the line at the grandkids kiddie music. It is possible to find value in things that don’t belong to my generation. Computers, radial tires, granola, garters and stockings, bluegrass music, pizza, Roman aqueducts, jet aircraft, international travel, vaccines, dental implants and cataract surgery, yoga pants, the NFL, and so forth. I have known individuals who valued the comfort of sameness and stability in their lives to the extent that they tried hard to never do anything new. I’ve also known people who thought their generation were the acme of social rules and norms. And some people relish continual growth and change. All of these sorts can be good friends if I don’t expect them to be like me - none of them try to make me live like them, and that I do value. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/58 "2014-12-31T00:13:37Z")
I have two pictures saved on my phone of two high school friends. The pictures appeared in my news feed the same day and were so startling to me that I saved them. Both women were friends with each other when we were in school in the 70’s. Dee was a cheerleader, plump, very popular, married her high school sweetheart the minute they graduated, moved to Wisconsin, had a bunch of kids and grandkids and runs her own business and is very active in her conservative church. In her picture, her hair is gray, she is plump and wears frumpy old lady section of the store clothes and looks exactly like her mother did when she was in her sixties. Kay was also a cheerleader, thin, very popular, went to college, got married, had kids, works in higher education, has grandkids. Her hair is still blonde and cut almost exactly like in high school, but a fashionable bob. In her picture, she is wearing a form-fitting, glittery low cut cocktail dress and attending a charity ball. Dee gardens and cans tomatoes, Kay sails and skis and goes to many charity balls as part of her job. Looking at the two pictures, you would think Dee was in mid 60’s and Kay was early 40’s. They are both 57. From their Facebook feeds it is obvious the highpoint of Dee’s year was the number of jars of pickles she made, and the highpoint of Kay’s was the trip to the Bahamas. Dee posts about classical concerts, Kay posts about dancing the latest dances with her daughters. Dee’s business is a service-oriented homekeeping one, while Kay works with college students. Kay’s beach house on an island recently fell into the sea, Dee fears the friendly toad in the garden has died. Two vastly different approaches to life, two intelligent funny women… but Dee is an old lady while Kay is definitely a woman in her prime. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/59 "2014-12-31T01:14:27Z")
Depends on the person. I just turned 45, but work with a lot of smart 20-somethings. That’ll help keep you feeling younger, and more openminded. I _do_ less than I did in my teens and 20s because of health issues, but not because of my age. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2014, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112/60 "2014-12-31T09:04:15Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > IJazz isn’t crap. Sad. These hallucinations are the first signs of senility…poor bloke, doesn’t even have headaches so he can go to the dr. and get it properly diagnosed. I weep for you, my friend. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/boomers-why-do-people-act-old-before-they-are/345112.md?page=4)