# Bored of the Rings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 11, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337 "2003-12-11T12:29:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/1 "2003-12-11T12:29:51Z")
Anybody ever read this book? I got a used copy of it about 20 years ago or so and read it several times. The scene between Dildo and Goddam (from memory, not exact, but the gist is there) “What have I got in my pocket?” he asked. “Let me see, let me see!” the creature shouted. He obliged by pulling his snub nosed .38 out of his pocket and emptying the clip in the creature’s direction. He would have finished him off, but a wave of pity stayed his hand. “It’s a pity I’ve run out of bullets,” he thought. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/2 "2003-12-11T13:22:08Z")
Argle bargle morple whoosh! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/3 "2003-12-11T13:23:03Z")
“Boogies…do not like machines more complicated than a garrotte or a Luger…shy creatures except when a hundred or more may dry gulch a lone farmer or hunter…” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/4 "2003-12-11T13:45:37Z")
“Five nine is your height and 180’s your weight You’ll cash in your chips around page eighty-eight.” Simply the finest parody every written. My major incentive for finally slogging through the entire LOTR trilogy was so that I’d be able to really enjoy BOTR. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/5 "2003-12-11T15:26:40Z")
“Eaotin shrdlu!!” Nothing Jackson does can shake BoTR’s names from my head. Not to mention the Noztrul on their flatulent pigs… ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/6 "2003-12-11T15:47:42Z")
A great book. I first heard about it while reading the Hobbit, before I started the trilogy, and I read it as soon as I finished LOTR. That was over 30 years ago. I’m surprised at how good a distribution it got. BOTR was put out by the Harvard Lampoon, but it was initially published by Signet books, and I saw _lots_ of copies on the sherlves at department stores (!). The book has been reprinted recently by, I think, Del Rey, so it’s easy to find a copy. This is unlike the other Harvard Lampoon parodies – you’ll look high and low, or pay a lot through internet rare-book sites, for a copy of theur James Bond parody, **Alligator** , or the Playboy parody, or any of their others. Having lived in the Boston area, off and on, since I first read the book, I now recognize that some of the references are local – thirty years ago most people outside New England wouldn’t know that “Poland water” (one of the gifts they pick up in LornaDoone) is Poland Spring water, or that Moxie is a New England soft drink, once on a par with Pepsi. And the description of the hot fudge sundae in Moxie or Pepsi’s dream while on forced march by the Oma-Ha and the Otto-wa (Uruk-Hai) _had_ to be inspired by the hot fudge sundaes at the now sadlt departed Bailey’s ice cream parlors, only a couple of blocks from the Lampoon Castle near Harvard Square. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/7 "2003-12-11T15:54:18Z")
“We boggies are a hairy folk Who like to eat until we choke Loving all like friend and brother Hardly ever eat each other!” ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/8 "2003-12-11T15:57:26Z")
Ai! Oi! A ballhog! Oh, Eorache! ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/9 "2003-12-11T16:35:49Z")
Grundig Blaupunkt luger frug Watusi snarf wazoo Nixon Dirksen nasahist Rebozo boogaloo! Timeless poetry here, people! It still chokes me up!! ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/10 "2003-12-11T17:00:21Z")
_We are the chorus and we agree, we agree, we agree_ Now _that’s_ great literature. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/11 "2003-12-11T18:23:50Z")
We are the fighting Green Toupees… ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/12 "2003-12-11T18:24:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by silenus \* > “Eaotin shrdlu!!” > > Nothing Jackson does can shake BoTR’s names from my head. > > Not to mention the **Noztrul** on their flatulent pigs… That’s **Nozdrul** … I can’t believe I’m nitpicking Bored of the Rings! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/13 "2003-12-11T18:49:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qadgop the Mercotan \* > \*\*Grundig Blaupunkt luger frug > Watusi snarf wazoo > Nixon Dirksen nasahist > Rebozo boogaloo! > Timeless poetry here, people! It still chokes me up!! \*\* As I recall, most of the conversation of the evil Narcs (orcs) consisted of North Korean place names. Pyongyang panmunjon! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/14 "2003-12-11T18:54:05Z")
A king of elves There was of old Saranwrap by name Who slew the narcs at Mallowmarsh And Sorhed’s host did tame. And with him marched the stubby dwarves drafted from their mines And when the fearsome battle raged They hid behind the lines. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/15 "2003-12-11T19:30:00Z")
From _Going Too Far_, by Tony Hendra: > [@](#): > > This was the summer of 1968. Beard had graduated in 1967 and gone into the Army Reserve. Kenney had graduated in 1968. It was at this time, says [financial guy Rob] Hoffman, that he, Beard, Kenney, and [Jim] Rivardo decided to start _The National Lampoon_. In order to keep Beard and Kenney together, the [Hardvard] _Lampoon_ arranged to maintainthem for the balance of 1968 in Cambridge while they wrote they first total collaboration, a delicious hit on the cult book of the decade, _Lord of the Rings_. It was called _Bored of the Rings_ and was more properly a lampoon than a parody, taking wild and energetic swings at the original rather than guying its Druidic cuteness. The effort eventually sold 750,000 copies in paperback, and did much to earn back the _Life_ [magazine parody] debt. That’s why it’s so easy to find, even before the reprint editions hit. Beard has said for the record - whether seriously or not - that BotR was “a terrible piece of shit.” And it both is and isn’t. It’s an early example of what I described in another thread: > [@](#): > > Like a lot of the so-called comedies of today you have to remember all the great jokes, one-liners, and allusions and will yourself to forget the cheap, repetitive, and juvenile humor. If you can do that, I’d say it was a resounding success. Just an early example of this trend. ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/16 "2003-12-11T19:49:35Z")
Can’t ever forget the monster with the corduroy lapels, long dangling participles, and pronounced gazetteer. > [@](#): > > “Maim!” roared the monster. “Mangle, mutilate, crush! See **HARM** ” > > “A Thesaurus!” cried Legolam. Hope that’s accurate; I’m not near my library where the definitely dog-eared copy resides in a spot of honor. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/17 "2003-12-11T20:33:33Z")
Please don’t forget to honor the great parody of the original 1960’s [Cover Painting](http://ringlord.com/people/walrus/lotr/pix/BotR-854x1446.jpeg) . It’s a laff-riot. ---
**Author:** ![ddgryphon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8c91f0/32.png) [@ddgryphon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ddgryphon)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/18 "2003-12-11T20:41:48Z")
Dribble, dribble, fake, dribble, fake, dribble, dribble. “I am Arrowroot, son of Arrowshirt, son of Aeroplane” He gave the ancient elvin greeting “Hihowareya!” I cried when I found out that Jackson and company didn’t think to make this fourth movie using the characters and sets with slight modifications based on this book. Still one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/19 "2003-12-11T20:42:11Z")
From the prologue, “Concerning Boggies”: > [@](#): > > It is plain that boggies are relatives of ours, standing somewhere along the evolutionary line that leads from rats to wolverines and eventually to Italians, but what our exact relationship is cannot be told. . . It is nevertheless clear from their heavy accents and their fondness for dishes cooked in Brylcreem that somewhere in their past they went west in steerage. . . Why they decided to undertake the perilous crossing into Oleodor is uncertain, though again their songs tell of a shadow that fell upon the land so that the potatoes grew no more. > > While there was still a King at Ribroast, the boggies remained nominally his subjects, and to the last battle at Ribroast with the Slumlord of Borax, they sent some snipers, though who they sided with is unclear. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/20 "2003-12-11T20:42:57Z")
"An elven maid there was of old A stenographer by day Her hair was fake, her teeth were gold Her scent of cheap sachet. She thought that ‘Art’ was really keen The top ten she could hum Her eyes were full of maybelline The top ten she could hum. She met one night an elven lad Who took her to the fights. He said he had a spacious pad And went to law school nights" Enough for now. The scary thing is I remember all this stuff without looking it up!! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337.md?page=2)