# Bored of the Rings **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 11, 2003, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337 "2003-12-11T12:29:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/41 "2003-12-12T20:21:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BMalion \* > \*\*Anyway, I get dang near all the jokes and references but the Riders of **RoiTanners** is eluding me. > > What’s the reference? > > 😕 \*\* [Roi Tan cheap cigars](http://www.lilbrown.com/brand.cfm?brand=ROI%20TAN%20&cat=Domestic%20Cigars) ---
**Author:** ![Mehitabel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mehitabel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mehitabel)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/42 "2003-12-12T20:21:52Z")
[Previous thread here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=153081&highlight=frito) Full of great quotes, including my favorite scene: Stomper fighting the Nozdrul at Bree. Hee hee–all this careless quoting reminds me of one of the fake blurbs in the front of the book. One is “Extremely interesting in every way”–Professor Hawley Smoot\*, _Our Loosely Enforced Libel Laws._ ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/43 "2003-12-13T03:37:43Z")
Legolam put a more-than-friendly arm around Arrowroot. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmundex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19adc/32.png) [@Sigmundex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmundex)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/44 "2003-12-13T06:10:23Z")
BMalion- I’ve got that cover on my book, but the price on mine is $1.25, and there’s no Canadian price. It’s a first printing. I guess it might be worth something if it wasn’t beat up and worn out. Found on the back: "A STATEMENT FROM THE AUTHORS OF THIS LAMPOON EDITION This paperback edition, and no other, has been published solely for the purpose of making a few fast bucks. Those who approve of courtesy to a certain other living author will not touch this gobbler with a ten-foot battle-lance. Henry N. Beard Douglas C. Kennedy" ---
**Author:** ![Tanaqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Tanaqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tanaqui)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/45 "2003-12-13T07:31:28Z")
Apparently I’m like, the only one, but I found this book really, really unfunny. I thought was remarkably stupid. And not stupid in a good Bill & Ted sort of way, but in a yawn-inducing sort of way. Maybe it’s because I was never really a huge fan of LOTR, or because I’m a member of a different generation than y’all, or maybe just because I’m missing some crucial humor gene here, but I’m honestly amazed that so many people found this book hilarious. I usually would hate to be the downer in a thread dedicated to praising something, but I’m just so confused in this instance. Am I the only one to hate this book? ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/46 "2003-12-13T17:34:22Z")
Some back history on that Statement: Because of a loophole in the copyright laws, LotR was technically in the public domain in the US in the early 1960s. Ace Books put out an edition of the book, and didn’t pay any royalties to Tolkien. He contracted with Ballantine Books to do an authorized edition, with the now iconic three-cover connected artwork. The Ballantine edition had an equivalent Statement from Tolkien himself: > [@](#): > > This paperback edition, and no other, has been published with my consent and co-operation. Those who approve of courtesy (at least) to living authors will purchase it, and no other. Ace eventually withdraw its edition, but the Statement would have been in the consciousness of every book buyer at the time of BotR’s original publication. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/47 "2003-12-13T21:14:39Z")
It’s highly amusing how _little_ parody is required to turn Tom Bombadil into “Tim Benzedrine”. Even Tolkein fans consider this strange detour in the story to be the novels’ weakest point. The introductory excerpt about a “voluptuous elf-maiden” that is in fact nowhere in the book is priceless. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2003, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/48 "2003-12-13T23:47:15Z")
THE KNOB! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2003, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/49 "2003-12-14T03:02:08Z")
The whole Tim Benzedrine/Hashberry episode had me in tears. “Just wait 'til the rush hits yoo.” ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/50 "2003-12-14T04:49:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Of course you guys all knoiw that by getting the love ‘n’ beads era references (Harold Stassen, Clean for Gene, Goodgulf), you’re all dating yourselves. If you think that Harold Stassen dates us, consider the “Yalu, Yalu” war cry quoted earlier. > [@](#): > > but the Riders of RoiTanners is eluding me Roi Tan was a [cheap cigar that often came with its own plastic “holder”](http://pages.tias.com/10720/PictPage/1922052050.html). ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/51 "2003-12-14T04:51:25Z")
Hit “submit” when I meant to hit “preview.” Roi Tan was probably better quality than Tiparillo, but Tiparillo did not easily convert Rohan. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2003, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/52 "2003-12-15T16:52:29Z")
**Fear Itself** & **tomndeb** , thanks! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tanaqui \* > \*\*Apparently I’m like, the only one, but I found this book really, really unfunny. I thought was remarkably stupid. And not stupid in a good Bill & Ted sort of way, but in a yawn-inducing sort of way. > > Maybe it’s because I was never really a huge fan of LOTR, or because I’m a member of a different generation than y’all… > \*\* That’s your answer, If you’re younger you’ve been exposed to alot of humor in a simular vein (from those same writers, I might add) since they wrote BoTR. To us old-timers this was new and exciting, as was Tolkien, at one point. Plus, if you’re not a huge fan, why would you be enthralled with a parody? > [@](#): > > \*\* > or maybe just because I’m missing some crucial humor gene here, but I’m honestly amazed that so many people found this book hilarious. > > \*\* Amazed that some people find a well-written parody funny? Why does that amaze you? > [@](#): > > \*\* > I usually would hate to be the downer in a thread dedicated to praising something, but I’m just so confused in this instance. Am I the only one to hate this book? \*\* No, just the only one who apparently read a book he hated then posted among a bunch of fans of that book, now _That’s_ amazing. Swim upstream much? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![mailman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@mailman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mailman)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2003, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/53 "2003-12-18T22:46:53Z")
I remember reading this book with my best friend in high school just after finishing the trilogy. I hate to admit it, but it’s funnier when you’re stoned. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/54 "2003-12-20T12:10:28Z")
“We came up with a product about as readible as Linear A” I was taking a Greek History course the second time I read the book. That line struck me as particularly funny then. I gotta find another copy. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/55 "2003-12-20T18:52:41Z")
Anyone given any more thought on your ideal [movie version](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=230313)? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2003, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/56 "2003-12-21T02:22:57Z")
I like narc-ish dialogue such as “Krishna rimsky-korsikov!” and “Slushfund tietack kierkegaard!” Not to mention their battle song: “From the halls of Khezaduma to the shores of Lithui We will fight King Sorhed’s battles with tooth and nail and knee…” ---
**Author:** ![Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@Weird\_AL\_Einstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weird_AL_Einstein)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/57 "2003-12-25T14:24:39Z")
Once again, see my sig. Been like that since nigh on the beginning… ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/58 "2003-12-25T15:11:37Z")
**Bored of the Rings** is a very short book. I daresay this thread is longer. In fact, if you take all the quotes here, and string them all together in the correct sequence, you’d have the complete book! It’s a jigsaw puzzle. Oops. Now the mods’ll be after us for copyright infringement. But **Ike,** the words are all out of sequence, just like a dictionary! ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/59 "2003-12-25T15:16:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Odinoneeye \* > I gotta find another copy. [Here ya go.](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0451452615/qid=1072365352//ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i0_xgl14/104-7877055-2270301?v=glance&s=books&n=507846) ---
**Author:** ![RobuSensei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/919ad9/32.png) [@RobuSensei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobuSensei)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337/60 "2003-12-25T15:17:23Z")
You know, I just gotta say that, sitting here in my cold apartment on the evening of Christmas, in the hind end of Japan, with all of my friends rather sensibly traveling overseas, these threads are just what I needed. Between the quotes here and in the older thread, I’ve been sitting on floor, laughing, for about the last 15 minutes. I think I woke the baby in the apartment upstairs… I got my copy of BotR many years ago, at a used bookshop. (I was a junior high school student at the time, so it must’ve been somewhere around 1986 or so.) It was a copy of the Signet edition, with the original cover, but it was beat up enough that the store owner gave it to me for free. I still remember opening it up, seeing that map for the first time, and marveling. “Bay of Milhouse? Small X-shaped Forest? Tudor? Fordor?” “Do not drink of it. It causes cavities.” “Whoops,” said Frito. “Aiee,” added Goddam “Floop,” agreed the tarpit. “All the shrapnel blew the other way.” (from memory; my copy is half a planet away) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bored-of-the-rings/218337.md?page=4)