# Bosses Are Like Diapers - Always On Your Ass And Full Of Shit **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 8, 2009, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886 "2009-02-08T04:00:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/1 "2009-02-08T04:00:58Z")
Overheard that statement in Home Depot today and thought it was worth sharing. Made me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/2 "2009-02-08T12:01:51Z")
Another old favorite of mine: I must be a mushroom, because they keep me in the dark and feed me shit. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/3 "2009-02-08T12:14:56Z")
Life is a shit sandwich: the more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/4 "2009-02-08T16:38:35Z")
Management is like a flock of seagulls: they fly in, make a lot of noise, shit all over everything and leave you to clean it up. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/5 "2009-02-08T17:24:01Z")
Some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/6 "2009-02-08T17:28:53Z")
Doing a good job around here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit: it gives you a warm feeling, but nobody notices. We the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long that now we can do anything with nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/7 "2009-02-08T18:57:27Z")
I have a decorative plaque at work that says “Tell me again how lucky I am to work here… I keep forgetting.” It is rather cute and has butterflies on it, so as to blend in with everyone else’s glurgey Bible verses and picture frames. ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/8 "2009-02-08T19:55:21Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > We the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long that now we can do anything with nothing. This is my new work motto… ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/9 "2009-02-08T20:30:00Z")
It’s always darkest just before the piano falls on you. Every round of snow shoveling hurts in its own way. No two snowfall aches are exactly the same. ---
**Author:** ![LucyInDisguise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucyindisguise/32/18064_2.png) [@LucyInDisguise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LucyInDisguise)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2009, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/10 "2009-02-08T23:18:50Z")
That light you see at the end of the tunnel? It’s not your imagination … It really _ **is** _ a 104 car freight train being pulled by six locomotives. Oh, Yeah, and I need that presentation on my desk before the end of the day … :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/11 "2009-02-09T15:44:03Z")
When I was born I was offered the choice of a good memory or a big dick. I cant remember what I picked. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/12 "2009-02-09T16:14:28Z")
**Bosses Are Like Diapers - Always On Your Ass And Full Of Shit** …and yet _you’re_ the one that’s disposable. ---
**Author:** ![emarkp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3be4f8/32.png) [@emarkp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emarkp)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/13 "2009-02-09T16:26:54Z")
As a business owner myself, I clearly need to come up with something like this for deadbeat employees. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/14 "2009-02-09T16:29:07Z")
> [@Scarlett67](#): > > Doing a good job around here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit: it gives you a warm feeling, but nobody notices. > > We the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much with so little for so long that now we can do anything with nothing. I have always loved this sentiment. Almost enough to embroider it and hang it on a wall. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/15 "2009-02-09T16:44:43Z")
I worked for British Telecommunications for a while. One year, the big boss sent all of us a letter explaining why we had to accept a much lower annual pay rise than usual (of 1%), because times were hard, business was down, investment was needed… OK, we were cutting our spending plans when the news came through that he himself had been awarded a 33% pay rise. It’s the only time I’ve gone on strike. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/16 "2009-02-09T17:22:04Z")
The SQL approach: select \* from management where clue \> 0; ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/17 "2009-02-09T22:50:06Z")
> [@gotpasswords](#): > > The SQL approach: > > select \* from management where clue \> 0; 0 results returned. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/18 "2009-02-09T22:57:49Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > Another old favorite of mine: I must be a mushroom, because they keep me in the dark and feed me shit. Given that I work in a photo darkroom, I find this one especially piquant. ---
**Author:** ![J-P\_L](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/j-p_l/32/3156_2.png) [@J-P\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/J-P_L)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bosses-are-like-diapers-always-on-your-ass-and-full-of-shit/484886/19 "2009-02-09T23:01:57Z")
> [@emarkp](#): > > As a business owner myself, I clearly need to come up with something like this for deadbeat employees. Heh emarkp, you could have a poster saying the following! I request that every employees take a shower/bath every day before coming in to work. If I have to kiss your ass to get you to do anything, I want to be sure that it’is clean.