# Bow before my mad condiment skillz. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 2, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974 "2006-07-02T22:38:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/1 "2006-07-02T22:38:48Z")
OK, so this PM I’m jonesing for a snack. And I’ve got the remains of a luuvly rotisserie turkey in the frig, all tender white meat. So I’m thinking, “What do I do with this succulent but blah white meat of turkey? Mayonnaise? Again?” Naaa. Too bland. I want a bit of hotcha-cha-cha with my sammich. Now, I love Worcestershire sauce so much I can even spell it. So I dip a shred of turkey in some. The flavor of the WS is just absorbed, leaving a brown tinge and a taste of salt. Underwhelming at best. If only the sauce had some body, some suspension… Suddenly I am struck by a bolt of inspiration worthy of the late [H.B. Reese](http://www.reeseweb.com/ReeseFamilyHistory.htm): PUT THE WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE _IN_ THE MAYONNAISE! I _shklorp_ a heaping tablespoon of mayo into a ramekin, followed by…hmm let’s see…ok, a level tablespoon of WS, and blend thoroughly. It turns a pleasant beige color. I dip another shred of turkey. Not bad! Sort of a ---
**Author:** ![nameless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/779978/32.png) [@nameless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nameless)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/2 "2006-07-02T22:43:39Z")
To Be Continued! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/3 "2006-07-02T22:44:30Z")
Jesus! It killed him! ---
**Author:** ![nameless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/779978/32.png) [@nameless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nameless)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/4 "2006-07-02T22:45:46Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Jesus! It killed him! My God! It’s full of stars! ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/5 "2006-07-02T22:46:46Z")
The lesson today, children, is to never EVER mix your mayo-phors… ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/6 "2006-07-02T22:50:44Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > The lesson today, children, is to never EVER mix your mayo-phors… It also might have prevented this condoment breaking. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/7 "2006-07-02T22:51:23Z")
remoulade kinda effect, only darker brown in taste. Salty as heck, too (which I like). But it’s still a bit flat and sweet somehow. Then the masterstroke: about 4 shakes from the small bottle of Tabasco. Suddenly it _comes alive!_ Salt plus sweet plus spice: the holy trinity, bound together by their comely handmaiden, fat. This stuff tastes pretty danged good, in other words. I slap a turkey sammich together, eat, then wipe out the ramekin with the last of the bread. Now I need a name for this stuff so I can stuff it in jars, sell it on street corners and the web, and clean up. I was thinking **Worcesternaise** , possibly **Doug’s Hot 'N Spicy Worcesternaise** , but it lacks that certain come-alive feeling I experienced when the Tabasco went in. Plus it’s harder to spell than “Worcestershire” _and_ “mayonnaise” put together. So that’s out. Perhaps dedicate it to The Great Man himself— **Cecilade**? Naaa, people might rhyme it with “lemonade” and assume it’s a drink, ideally a drink made by infusing slices of Cecil in water. Anyway, I had the idea, you guys give me a name. If you care to, make some yourself first. It’s yumptious! ---
**Author:** ![nameless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/779978/32.png) [@nameless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nameless)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/8 "2006-07-02T22:55:01Z")
**Doug,** you recover like a professional figureskater. Nicely done. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/9 "2006-07-02T22:57:27Z")
But…whyyyyy, why, whyyyyyyyyyyy??? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/10 "2006-07-02T22:58:47Z")
:dubious: Isn’t this reminiscient of the Nixon era? 13 minutes of missing dialog? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/11 "2006-07-02T23:03:22Z")
> [@Ruby](#): > > :dubious: Isn’t this reminiscient of the Nixon era? 13 minutes of missing dialog? According to Arlo Guthrie, that was Dick listening to Alice’s Restaurant. In which there must have been condiments… It’s a conspiracy! ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/12 "2006-07-02T23:06:10Z")
What’s a ramekin? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/13 "2006-07-02T23:08:19Z")
[That’s a ramekin.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramekin) If you ever ate crème brûlée, crème caramel, or flan, you probably ate it out of one. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/14 "2006-07-02T23:08:21Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > What’s a ramekin? [Easily googled](http://images.google.co.uk/images?q=ramekin&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&sa=N&tab=wi). ---
**Author:** ![seenidog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@seenidog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seenidog)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/15 "2006-07-02T23:09:41Z")
ok, I give, what is a ramekin? I know I could google or wikipedia, but sd responces are always infinatley more entertaining By the by, a sprinkle of paprika wouldn’t hurt, the tabasco will overpower it anyway but it will improve the color. ---
**Author:** ![nameless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/779978/32.png) [@nameless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nameless)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/16 "2006-07-02T23:14:03Z")
> [@seenidog](#): > > ok, I give, what is a ramekin? I know I could google or wikipedia, but sd responces are always infinatley more entertaining By the by, a sprinkle of paprika wouldn’t hurt, the tabasco will overpower it anyway but it will improve the color. Dammit, does anyone know what a freakin’ ramekin is? You people are useless. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2006, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/17 "2006-07-02T23:18:46Z")
Not a bad idea. The stuff may look beige, but it sure doesn’t _taste_ beige. However, I’m concerned the paprika may make it look pink. People would then confuse it with remoulade, and there goes my marketing plan. What’s a ramekin (non-Wikipedia version): It’s a shallow ceramic bowl with straight-up-and-down sides. They’re usually small (mine was, in fact, teeny, well below the Wiki article’s lower threshold of 5 inches in diameter), but have been made up to 5 _feet_ across, I guess for flan festivals in Spain or somedamnthing. [Pix](http://images.google.com/images?svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&safe=off&q=ramekin&btnG=Search) ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/18 "2006-07-03T04:31:45Z")
The four flavors in Thai cuisine are sweet, sour, salty, and hot, so you’re almost there. Toss a bit of lemon juice in there, and watch the Universe explode. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/19 "2006-07-03T04:38:41Z")
> [@Dijon Warlock](#): > > The four flavors in Thai cuisine are sweet, sour, salty, and hot, so you’re almost there. Toss a bit of lemon juice in there, and watch the Universe explode. Mayo already has lemon juice in it, I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/20 "2006-07-03T06:32:34Z")
How about _ **Dr. Doug’s Root Juice** _? Do it right, and you could do for food what [Dr. Bronner did for soap.](http://www.drbronner.com/index.html) 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974.md?page=2)