# Bow before my mad condiment skillz. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 2, 2006, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974 "2006-07-02T22:38:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/21 "2006-07-03T07:23:40Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] OK, so this PM I’m jonesing for a snack. And I’ve got the remains of a luuvly rotisserie turkey in the frig, all tender white meat. So I’m thinking, “What do I do with this succulent but blah white meat of turkey? Mayonnaise? Again?” Naaa. Too bland. I want a bit of hotcha-cha-cha with my sammich. Now, I love Worcestershire sauce so much I can even spell it. So I dip a shred of turkey in some. The flavor of the WS is just absorbed, leaving a brown tinge and a taste of salt. Underwhelming at best. If only the sauce had some body, some suspension… Suddenly I am struck by a bolt of inspiration worthy of the late [H.B. Reese](http://www.reeseweb.com/ReeseFamilyHistory.htm): PUT THE WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE _IN_ THE MAYONNAISE! I _shklorp_ a heaping tablespoon of mayo into a ramekin, followed by…hmm let’s see…ok, a level tablespoon of WS, and blend thoroughly. It turns a pleasant beige color. I dip another shred of turkey. Not bad! Sort of a [/QUOTE] :eek: You have discovered our family’s secret recipe for grilled oyster/lobsters!! :eek: :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/22 "2006-07-03T07:54:33Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] Mayo already has lemon juice in it, I thought. [/QUOTE] [Ed McMahon] [You are _correct_, sir!](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=373790&highlight=mayo) [/EM] > [@ouryL](#): > > You have discovered our family’s secret recipe for grilled oyster/lobsters!! How do you keep the lobsters from crawling off the grill? ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/23 "2006-07-03T08:11:09Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] How do you keep the lobsters from crawling off the grill? [/QUOTE] Cable ties, silly! ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/24 "2006-07-03T17:22:55Z")
[QUOTE=kaylasdad99] Mayo already has lemon juice in it, I thought. [/QUOTE] Didn’t know; not a mayo fan. I always understood its basic ingredients to be eggs and oil emulsified into the pustulant exudations of Satan’s less-than-admirable abscesses. But, hey, learn something new every once in a while. That’s what “fighting ignorance” is all about, yes? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/25 "2006-07-03T17:36:51Z")
[QUOTE=ouryL] :eek: You have discovered our family’s secret recipe for grilled oyster/lobsters!! :eek: :eek: :eek: [/QUOTE] Your oyster/lobsters are made of turkey? What is an oyster/lobster, anyway? Do they have eeensy claws? Great big crusty shell? I’ve never seen one. Should I be glad? ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/26 "2006-07-03T17:44:12Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] How about _ **Dr. Doug’s Root Juice** _? Do it right, and you could do for food what [Dr. Bronner did for soap.](http://www.drbronner.com/index.html) 😃 [/QUOTE] The 14-in-1 Miracle Sauce! Good on Poultry, Roasts, Fishes, Cocktails, Salads, Oyster/Lobsters! Too Spicy? Dilute! OK! **Root Juice** has a great ring, but it sure doesn’t describe the contents. Then again, neither did **Egg Cream** , and that swept, well not quite the country, but certainly the Eastern Seaboard… More names please!!! ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/27 "2006-07-03T20:15:15Z")
Mayonnaise Worcestershire sauce tabasco (hot pepper) sauce Ok, Tabasco is a brand name so that’s out. **Doug’s Best Worst Hot Mayo.** ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/28 "2006-07-03T22:05:34Z")
**gigi,** I like you thinking. I’m also considering **Hot Brown Mayo**. 'Specially since it goes so well on turkey sammiches. ---
**Author:** ![Carlyjay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Carlyjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carlyjay)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/29 "2006-07-03T22:09:18Z")
I liked your use of “Yumptious”. I say you name it **Doug’s Yumptious Sauce** or something like it. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/30 "2006-07-04T03:05:35Z")
CAUTION: Use sparingly. May cause thirteen minute blackouts. ---
**Author:** ![Achren](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/898d66/32.png) [@Achren](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Achren)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/31 "2006-07-04T05:27:20Z")
**13 Minute Blackout** also, band name! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/32 "2006-07-04T05:36:09Z")
How about **Doug’s Hard Mayo**? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/33 "2006-07-04T08:11:09Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] How about _ **Dr. Doug’s Root Juice** _? [/QUOTE] That sounds like a euphemism for semen. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/34 "2006-07-04T08:14:23Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] That sounds like a euphemism for semen. [/QUOTE] Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winnah! I wondered how long it was going to take for someone to pick up on that. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/35 "2006-07-04T09:15:35Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] I’m also considering **Hot Brown Mayo**. [/QUOTE] And that one sounds like a euphemism for diarrhoea ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/36 "2006-07-04T09:36:53Z")
My mother used to add chopped garlic, onions and pickles to the same mixture. It was her mother’s recipe for tartar sauce. ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/37 "2006-07-04T09:47:24Z")
How about _mayonaire_. You cant euphemesmerise that! Also, its keeping the main ingredient visible, but with a twist, so that when you hear the name, you got to find out what happened to the mayo. Kotick (mayo-indian) ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/38 "2006-07-04T10:07:26Z")
[QUOTE=Kotick] How about _mayonaire_. You cant euphemesmerise that! [/QUOTE] HaHA! ‘can’t’ is a word I never use, except just then, when i said ‘can’t’… Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Silence\_of\_the\_clams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silence_of_the_clams)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/39 "2006-07-04T10:35:00Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] HaHA! ‘can’t’ is a word I never use, except just then, when i said ‘can’t’… Damn. [/QUOTE] Ni! ---
**Author:** ![ianzin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@ianzin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ianzin)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974/40 "2006-07-04T10:58:50Z")
Any progress on finding out what one of these ‘ramekin’ things is? Or are we conceding that we just don’t know, and probably never will? Maybe it was explained in the missing 13 minutes. Maybe they also contained a photo of Cecil. Hey… they could have contained _anything_… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/bow-before-my-mad-condiment-skillz/362974.md?page=3)